Friday, July 29, 2011

ASTROSCENE: Mad as a Hatter

How many gods does it take to change a light bulb?

One, as long as Eris stays out of the way. 

 In today’s scene, it appears that someone (not naming any names…Mercury) has shouted out “CHANGE PLACES” just as everyone was starting to enjoy their tea. In the hustle and bustle, many grievous injuries are sustained, egos are bruised, and the Eggos are ruined. Also, Pluto steps on a small, adorable bunny rabbit.

When its all over but the shouting, we welcome some new players in the game…

Venus charges into the party, with huge hair, totally glammed-out, looking fiercer than a jungle cat mauling Tyra Banks (heh. Word refuses to recognize Tyra. If only it were that easy…). The Sun, in the middle of feeding Psyche tiny cakes of dubious calorie counts, misses her mouth and smears it all over her face as he stares open-mouthed at our girl’s entrance.

Pallas still refuses to recognize the legitimacy of the Sun’s claim to the throne. Jupiter hands her a drink and tells her to calm down and have a good time. She promptly decks him in the jaw.

Ceres and Juno steal the show, with Ceres poisoning her food, and Juno delivering passive-aggressive insults to the others, without touching the food because she is on a new all-grass diet, thank you very much. Ceres delivers a glare that would take down a musk ox.

Mercury grabs his top hat and goes to harass Neptune, switching his drinks for non-alcoholic daiquiris, A crime that will not go unpunished. He retaliates by dropping Mercury’s iPhone in the concoction.

Saturn and Eros talk about the market, the national debt, and interest rates. Much hullabaloo is made over the Asian markets. Impressed, Saturn give Eros his card.  

Vulcan re-enters the drama, calling out Vesta on her cats. Well, honestly Vesta, what do you expect after you drag all 236 of them out to the party? Approximately an hour later they are caught making out behind the ice sculpture.

Eris hangs out with Mars, who really shouldn’t be outside, and just wants to get back home and work on his blog. It doesn’t help anything that Venus looks better than ever, and he is still trying to pretend his ex’s can’t see him if he covers his eyes.

Uranus berates Pluto for the rabbit incident, which turned out to be one of Vesta’s cats, and calls in a flash mob of protesters from his friends at PETA. Chiron comes in to smooth the ruffled feathers, but his work is ruined when Ceres starts shoving cake down Juno’s throat.

The Moon ducks out and hides in the kitchen. Eris throws a boulder through the window to get her back out.

All in all, everyone agrees that it was the most fun they’ve had in ages, do the air-kisses, and promise to do it again soon.

Image courtesy of

If you have a hankering for more awesome astro, go check out Karen here

Also if you think what I do is good, check out the lovely Starzina and her Time of the Month here 

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