Friday, July 27, 2012

Cutting Me Own Throat

Ah, If only it were that easy....

Alright guys, Papa is getting dangerously close to broke. So, I'm adding a boatload of new consults, and im really pumped about them. Go check them out here. All of the consults have come down a lot in price, but you're not losing any of the quality. Im also working on Paypal buttons to make it easier to order.

Aaaand- Super-Special Bundle Deals!!! Im pairing some of my consults together for maximum effect and savings for you guys.

As always, you need to let me know the date, time and place of birth or else Its not going to be any good.

Now go check it out and spend lots and lots of money.

Mercury Retrograde Update- The Problem is Choice

Ladies and Gentlemen, This shit sucks. Im aware that I promised fabulosity and overall amazingness, however its turning out to be nothing more than Mercury Retrograde hype. I get the feeling that it is theoretically possible to rock the amazingness like I described, however try not to focus on that (well, yes-Focus on that and rock this transit like its never been rocked before. Just do it in the background.). No, there's something much more important in the works.

The moon is in Libra right now, and is very close to Saturn. After that, it jets into Scorpio. This is going to be a preview of Saturn in Scorpio for 37ish hours and trust me, it will drag on and on and on like you would not believe. In this time, we will be getting a taste of whats to come and how to respond to it. There will be an even more potent one at the end of august, but we'll get to that later.

The crux of the issue is this- Like I said in my New Moon post, you have reached a point where you have done as much as you can in a certain are of your life (you know which one im talking about) and the realization just crushed you. It is freeing though, because once you face it, and accept it, you can move on. That being said, you have a choice to make- What next? Where do you go from here?

And then the zinger- What do you want?

See these are questions you will need to have strong, commited answers to. No more vacillating. No more trying to play both sides of the game and wait for the skies to clear and the heavens themselves to give you a sign with flying unicorns farting out rainbows to tell you that its time.

No, if you want it, you're going to have to take it.

Again, this is a preview for what is to come. You will be filled to the brim with piss and vinegar, but remember- at the end of the day, Saturn is still in Libra (no matter how much you [or your humble Astrologer] may wish otherwise), and therefore we have to go back to walking on eggshells and trying to make everybody happy (yay.) after you Scorp out and utterly obliterate them for their overall incompetence at life.

But just think of how much better you'll feel afterwards!!

Good luck!
-The Astrogeek

Friday, July 20, 2012

New Moon in Cancer- Letting Go

Ladies and Gentlemen, screw this New Moon; It has me far too weepy for my liking! On the plus side though, it has made me much nicer and slightly more understanding, but still. Emotions = Not my forte.

Anywho, lets get it going, shall we?

The key to this round is letting go. Ive said this before, but this time around its Do-Or-Die. When some old pain comes up, let it go. When that voice in your head tells you that you should have done this instead of what you actually did, you let that go too, because we cannot take quick jaunts back through time and make a different choice. And when you go for a quick drink to take your mind off of the issues and see your ex there, doing the same, you civilly acknowledge them (if you make eye contact- If not, just run!) and let them go. No repeats allowed this time around- Its only forward motion.

Of course, this is easier said than done, isnt it? Your not-so-humble Astrologer has a very difficult time with this as well, and rarely finds ways to cope, but the gym has been my personal sanctuary to get over this, and has the added benefit of helping me stay as healthy as possible. So find your coping mechanism, and focus on that instead of allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by all the negatives that your mind throws up. And just warning you now, there will be a lot of them, and this will not be easy.

But when is it ever, eh?

The Sun and Moon- We set the stage with a sextile to Makemake, which shows that your focus needs to be on survival. You are in competion for what you want, and you need to win. Give this everything that you have. A square to Bienor may leave you more willing to help others on the way up, however. Maybe you don't need to finish first this time? A square to Apollon tells you to channel this creatively, and try to be as magnanimous as possble. A sextile to Admetos makes this difficult however, as it is much easier to express the more unsavory aspects of your character. Try to avoid this. A conjunction to Vulkanus shows that you can handle this challenge, and have a lot of strength to do it, but you may need to dig deep. Set boundaries, and make sure to take time for yourself. Another conjunction, to Hekate, confirms this, but adds that you need to be sure of what you want. Whatever that is, you can have it now, but you have to want it. A trine to Salacia confirms this, adding that if its right for you, it will happen, but not without hard work. Get away from what you dont want in your life at Mach speed. A square to Lachesis indicates that something in your life is over. You will know what it is, and the realization will hit you like a ton of bricks. Do not let this be dramatic, just acknowledge it and move on swiftly. Just let it go. A sextile to Sedna confirms this, adding in a lot of regret with a side of melancholy. A trine to Juno shows that relationships are not going to be light and easy, but there is a chance to make a deeper connection and build something that lasts. A square to Saturn and to Eris shows that you are caught between two desires- on the one hand, you want to be totally self-sufficient and untouchable, and on the other you want to be respected and admired among your peers and on the cover of magazines. Its hard, but aim for the middle ground; try to do both.

Mercury- Yes yes yes, he's finally gone Retrograde. Enjoy the chaos. Other than that, he's quite tame, with a traine to Pallas Athene, so hang back and watch the fireworks (but strike at the right time if the opportunity presents itself!). A sextile to Venus helps you stay sane, and helps you keep your mood up. Smile as much as possible, fake it if you have to. Genuinely finding reasons to smile though goes a long way for you mental health. A conjunction to Achilles helps you get through the day and not break down sobbing in the copy room. Make it through and win the day. An opposition to Amor has you struggling to justify keeping things how they are in regards to your relationships; Its time for a change. A conjunction to Sisyphus doesn't help any, leaving you feeling like the present moment is a Herculean task. Keep pushing that boulder up the hill.

Venus- Ah, Miss Sexy herself, that classy bitch. Another quiet one this go-around. A sextile to Child demands that you act maturely and responsibly, yet to stay sane, act like a little kid and have fun when no one is looking. A square to Apollo also highlights this, and tells us that not allowing yourself to be... well, yourself will have serious reprecussions. Don't stifle yourself unnecessarily. An opposition to Amycus stresses the need to treat those you meet with compassion and hospitality, but not at the expense of your own needs. Be careful to avoid any petty squabbles, because they could easily get blown out of proportion. A square to Borasisi shows that not all is as it seems- You are being lied to. Find out what it is, and determine whether it has any bearing on your life. If not? Ignore it, but don't trust the offender again.

Mars- Well, Our Boy is not quiet by any stretch of the imagination! A trine to Jupiter says to GO GO GO!! and make big, sweeping changes to everything. This time around though, we dont have Pluto's help to keep these two in check. No, this time he's in square. Tread carefully, and make sure you aren't about to run off of a cliff. An opposition to Uranus tells us that there is potential for a lot to go wrong, if you are not careful, but if you work it right, there is a lot of possibility for growth and chucking out what you no longer want/need. A trine to Ceres tells you to be all about YOU, and make an investment in yourself for once. A sextile to Chariklo says that if you are looking to get ahead, you cant be afraid of looking a little weird. A conjunction to Astraea and  confirms this, and adds to stay somewhat removed from what happens now, especially with regards to political situations. A square to Cyllarus warns against taking uneccesary risks, however. A sextile to Sappho encourages love for your fellow man, but make sure you keep your hands above the table. A sextile to Hidalgo has you fired up to launch your latest crusade, and a sextile to Nemesis helps you win the day, as long as you watch what you say and position yourself perfectly.
A trine to Siva helps this, getting you to the right place, at the right time.

Jupiter- A sextile to Uranus tells you to watch out for some unexpected opportunity, and if you dont act on it, you will regret it. An opposition to Chariklo has you focusing on the here and now instead of the big picture. Dont lose your perspective. A square to Elatus puts a strain on your positive outlook, and tells you to face reality. An opposition to Okyrhoe is warning of possible criticism from doing this, and things might get hard. Do not engage, and get out where possible. A square to Teharonhiawako may leave you saying "Well, now what?" regarding your direction. Once you figure out that answer get your ass in gear and dont look back for anything. A trine to Astraea says to back out of all the drama, and clear your head. Above all, set proper boundaries and know when to say no. A sextile to Sappho could have pining away over something that may never be, and that you have built up in your head. See what is in front of you. Finally, a conjunction to Siva shows that there is a lot that you are putting up with that you need to disassociate yourself from. Do that.

Saturn- Not a whole lot to talk about here; A square to Varuna tells you to be suspicious of any change to the game at this stage. More than likely, its a trap. A sextile to Quaoar has you resigned to finishing out your duty and seeing it through to the end. The goal is in sight. The question is, what happens then? I suppose its all about those last few seconds... A quincunx to Sedna warns of making sure you don't get pulled in by the hype, something is not as it seems, and now might be the best time to launch a graceful exit, providing you have your escape plan in place. A sextile to Narcissus gives the O.K. on this, as long as it is really what is best for you. A square to Askalaphus tells us that no matter what you do, you will piss someone off for doing it. My advice? Dont choose the path that ends with you kicking yourself for not doing what you wanted. Fuck everybody else.

Uranus- Yes, the Mad Scientist is retrograde now, and let me just tell you, he is loving it. A sextile to Ceres demands your full attention, and tries to get you to eat all of your vittles so you dont collapse while working your ass off. A trine to Chariklo (oh here we go again...) gives you fresh insight into what is happening in your life, if you take a second to look up from your keyboard. A square to Cyllarus gives you the urge to put yourself out there and take on added responsibility, but are you sure you can handle it? Or is there something else out there for you? An opposition to Astraea shows that right now, you want to be with those who speak your language; your people. Seek them out and invest some time into them. A trine to Sappho may have you eager to experiment with new ideas and open you up to brand new experiences. I say go for it, but be sure to bring lots of lube. A trine to Hera shows that you may need to get creative in your power play if you want to acheive your goals anytime soon. A trine to Hidalgo tells you to stand up for what you believe in, and not back down for anything. Out-crazy your opposition.

Neptune- A square to the Nodes has everybody's favorite dealer struck with a case of ennui the likes of which would fell a mortal man, a herd of bison, and three gaggles of geese in one fell swoop. A square to Vesta has you running a self-check on your motivations and ideals- Are they still in step with who you are now? What needs to be adjusted? A sextile to Kassandra reminds you that there are still many chapters left to write in your story, so keep going. A sextile to Ophelia will drain the life right out of you if you let her, so avoid that. Do whatever you need to in order to keep yourself on point. A trine to Aphrodite should help with this, and even help you stay elated and positive. Watch out for a square to Phaethon though, and try to avoid being in the public eye if at all possible.

Pluto- A trine to Elatus has you feeling rather optimistic about all the changes taking place in your life, but that might just be the Prozac. Or maybe not, with a sextile to Teharonhiawako boosting your morale too... An opposition to Kronos warns to to account for reality in your situation, and not just bury your head in the sand so that you dont have to deal with it. Stay calm and keep a level head and you can conquer anything. A square to Astraea helps you face the day til then, helping you build up and repairing the cracks in your armor as it breaks down. Keep going.

This one is rough guys. Dont let it beat you. Stay alive, and let go in order to swim to the other side.

Much Love
-The AstroGeek

As always, go check out the always fabulous Starzina Starfish-Browne, who is le awesome.

Songs of the Zeitgeist-

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Uranus Retrograde- Back That Thang Up

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am eating cake for breakfast. Why, you ask? For Science!! Also, because cake is delicious (not to mention because Astro is experiencing the double whammy of Uranus Square Uranus and Uranus Sextile Sun, which has him convinced that nothing can hold him back and also that he is a strong, confident black woman).

Anyway, lets talk about Uranus (It could do with a wash). Its about to go Retrograde and that is a good thing (depending on the placement of Uranus, of course). Basically, this Retrograde is also one that is usually maligned (Uranus is just so misunderstood) but is actually really, really awesome if you know what you're doing (ok, that one wrote itself).

So astrologically, Uranus usually means things like novelty, innovation, new ideas and discoveries, freedom, breaking away from tradition and the like. And when a planet goes Retrograde, their influence is felt internally, rather than through outside stimuli and experiences; it becomes much more subjective and personal. With Uranus, It becomes all about the individual expression of personal freedom and creativity. Especially now, with his journey through Aries.

"Ok, thats all well and good, but what does it mean for me Astro?" "Well", random person who is too impatient to let me finish making a point, "What you are actually asking is how to rock this transit for personal glory, so know what you're asking before you come up in my house! The best way to rock this transit, since you asked, is to face down the chance you have to change your life in ways that you have never even dreamed about before but scares you beyond belief, grab it by the nads and say hello. THEN, while your fear is trying to hold you back and keep you living small, give it a nice pistol-whip and go do what you need to do instead of sitting on your ass dicking around on (Facebook, reddit, twitter, what have you) all day until you have to go to your just-above-minimum-wage job to be treated like shit, overwork and go home to leftover chinese food and mustard."

Of course, this isnt complete until we talk about the other players in the game- Pluto and Mars at the moment, to be specific. Pluto has been dancing around a square to Uranus for the last two years, and Mars has just entered opposition. "I dont understand any of that, Astro! What does it mean?" Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, I have to make a call. "Hey Tony, whats up? Thats good, same here...What? Oh, she's fine, cant complain. Yeah... Hey listen, I was wondering if you could do me a favor. Yeah, I got another one. Cleanup detail only. No, the wood chipper is fine, no one's going to miss this one. Yeah ill get the prep work done, you just worry about the disposal. Ok, awesome. Give my best to Sheila." Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, Cardinal Crisis. So we have Pluto demanding deep and powerful changes, and Uranus telling us they need to be done YESTERDAY, with Mars sitting in the back, just not wanting to do anything unless its what everybody wants (while actually blocking all progress unless it suits his agenda) and making you do all the legwork yourself.

So what do you do? Use Mars for your zen and strike at the correct moment, Uranus as your architect for success, never sacrificing a thing but what doesn't work anymore, and let Pluto bring it all together by just never letting yourself quit. Ever. Be Adamant and unyielding, never swaying in your determination and duty.

Yes life will still be scary and confusing. And no, it wont stop being that way just for you and because its hard. Grow the fuck up and take control of yourself.You have the chance to change your life, it is within your grasp. You just have to want it. Of course, if you let your fear rule you, then you're already lost. Conquer it and seize the day (and Uranus).  

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go throw up my cake as it is making me very very sick. Honestly, who eats cake for breakfast?

-The AstroGeek

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

AstroScene: The Candy Man Can

For real though...

The Moon is tuckered out from her stay over at Uranus and Pallas Athene's place/office/dojo/party headquarters, and is looking for a change of pace, maybe a more chill scene. Still riding high off of the hi-energy buzz from that place, she goes to see everybody's favorite dealer, The Candy Man (aka Neptune) and his business partner, Clip-Clop (Chiron) and he hooks her up with something to help her come down. Still high as balls, she goes to talk about life, the universe and salmon with Pluto, who really helps her come back down to earth. After some heady conversation, she emails Mars to go over the Nutrition and Exercise Action Assault Plan for the week; and promptly heads to bed and pops Neptune's pills, where she dreams strange, strange dreams involving werewolves, prom, a barking dog with a Skrillex haircut, and a small amount of peas.

Mercury has a strategy session with Uranus and Pallas re: investment opportunities in developing countries for a nice tax dodge from the royalties of his wildly successful screenplay. He eventually goes with Haitian diamond mining. Sounds legit. Venus draws up the paperwork, sneaking in a couple clauses for herself while the boys are busy celebrating their combined genius. NEVER trust that girl with legal documents. Pluto helps her with some of the finer points and jargon, and it gets notarized and signed in triplicate.

Mars is having an existential crisis. He ponders his direction in life for about three seconds, and then decides to launch his own Gym after talking to Uranus. His first client? Jupiter. The poor bastard comes in, expecting to hit hard and get swoll after just one session, a week max. When Mars tries to explain how it actually works to him, he storms off and goes back home to Ceres, who backs Mars up. After a LOT of independent research, Jupiter storms back in to the Gym while Mars is hanging up motivational posters and getting everything just so, and just starts punishing the iron. Mars goes back to what he was doing. Vesta calls to check on membership prices.

Meanwhile, over at SaturnCorp, LLC., The CEO is currently obsessed with a new MMO game, and cannot be bothered at the moment, but if you leave your name and number, one of his drone army of executive assistants might get back to you when they feel like it. Eris is hooked too, and the two group up to bully the Sun into submission. He enlists Sedna's help, who is already at level 50 despite only playing for an hour (yay, suspension of disbelief!) and they just obliterate the competition. Juno and Eros also join in the fray, never ones to be left out of anything, and the situation just devolves until everyone forgets why they were fighting and go on a flashpoint quest. Psyche starts playing about 10 minutes later, after everyone else logs off.

Til next time!
-The AstroGeek

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Mercury Retrograde in Leo: Shameless

Oh dear, time for Mercury Retrograde again, and this one is in LEO of all signs (of all the planets, in all the signs, in all of the houses, he has to walk into mine...); Get ready for the Astrologically Quasi-Informed to fly around screaming bloody murder about the sky falling, cell phone bills skyrocketing (from telling all their friends about the sky falling, no doubt) and not to buy cars or look at farm animals crossways. Le sigh.

For all the rest of you, just shake your heads and smile; because you guys get to know the real story- This Retrograde is your Golden Ticket. Seriously, I've never seen one so rife with potential. Blessed with help from Uranus, Mars, Venus, Jupiter- hell even Saturn is on your side; and not even too much challenge from Pluto or Neptune, provided you act correctly and take the right precautions.

The challenging part here is really twofold- One: Taking the leap and trusting you will land on your feet (Neptune), not at all guaranteed. But hey, what is these days? Seriously though, weigh out the risks a la Mars in Virgo (what, you didn't think you were done there, did you?) and go with the best bet. Which brings me to Two: Taking a deep breath and nutting up to actually go through with it (Pluto). Whatever you do, do it big; Do it big, do it shamelessly, and make it work. The hardest thing you can do is just to go through with your plan. Yes, seriously. Starting to see the picture?

The good news- EVERYTHING ELSE IS SAYING GO FOR IT!!! The sky is giving you Jetpack Underwear (heh. I see what you did there! [Note- Reread it: Its actually relevant]) powered by a fusion reactor, I suggest that you use it while the using's good. The best action plan is to move around in your daily life as if nothing is changing, while in your off time putting the wheels in motion for success. Then, once all the t's are crossed and I's are dotted (Merc out of Shadow) come out and just leave them slackjawed, no one having any clue what just happened. The crucial bit is keeping it under wraps until its a sure thing, because there are those who will try to keep you down and keep you at their level. Refuse this, and just keep smiling til you're waving out of your rear-view mirror and driving off into the sunset.

Admittedly, this will most likely make you go slightly insane, trying not to spill the beans and trying to make your life work in the here and now while trying to blast into the stratosphere of your life; But hey, just pretend that Mars never left Virgo (while playing by the Libra rulebook) it should make it easier to handle. That grueling trip really was a great primer for what's ahead (as much as I hate to say it) and admit it, you're in a much better place now then you were then. Oh, well at least you know how screwed you are then...

TL;DR version? Grow a pair and make the changes you keep talking about making, but do it on the DL so the haters dont try to trip you up while you keep your 9-5 grind on. Try not to go crazy.
-The AstroGeek

Monday, July 9, 2012

AstroScene: Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap

Well, I have three consults that Im woefully behind on, TNOs to do, and Im pretty sure I need to wash my clothes (I think a small colony of scorpions have started to build a complex city in my laundry pile....) but screw it, I want to bring back the Astro-Scene (something Sue from Accounting keeps telling me I will regret later. Im not sure why I even talk to my mortal enemy about the direction of the site, but it came up during a break in our ongoing deathmatch.) so thats what Im going to do. Ive strung you guys along for long enough, I think.

Diving right in...  

The Sun is struck by a case of ennui, and is inconsolable until Psyche brings him a homecooked meal and just sits with him, talking about everything and nothing and watching trash T.V, until its nighttime and they decide to go out and hit the town. Surprisingly, a good time is had by all and no clubs are burnt to the ground.

The Moon gets sick of feeling like a wet noodle and goes to hang out with Uranus and Pallas Athene to alleviate her boredom and clear her head. Mars invites himself to the party (come on, its Uranus. Of course it becomes a party.) and the Moon takes offense to this. They glare at each other the entire time, refusing to acknowledge the other's presence until they both reach for the last mini-quiche. From there, it devolves into WW4, with several small nations getting involved. Mars actually loses this one, due to brilliant strategy from the combined minds of Uranus and Pallas Athene. The whole process takes about 3 days, and afterwards everyone is happy again, and Mars is actually invited to the victory party, where there is enough mini-quiche for everybody. Vienna sausages however, are gone within the first ten minutes.

Mercury is enlisted to write a screenplay on the recent conflict over the mini-quiches, however he is just far too busy at the moment to take on any more projects. And next time, bring something that actually has a believable premise and can have robots worked in, thank you very much. Neptune and Chiron come in with the same script and convince him. Due to his brilliant writing and brilliant casting (Venus as the love interest, Jupiter as the Hero), the whole thing makes a boatload of money and is up for several awards.
Speaking of Venus, she and Jupiter are given an enticing offer from Pluto. They refuse to talk about it, but are all smiles afterwards. Ceres also knows, but she sure isnt telling. She's too angry about not getting the offer too. There will be a reckoning (honestly Pluto, you think you would have learned from last time. Le sigh)

Saturn takes a rare day off, and to everyone's surprise the world keeps spinning. He cooly makes a note of this, and resolves to make sweeping changes. Eros advises against this, and reminds him that actually, days off are quite nice and maybe more of them wouldnt be such a bad idea. Saturn says nothing, but crosses out his note. Eris pays a visit and the two call a cease fire and play croquet. Eris trounces him of course, but they actually have a good time playing.

Vesta runs into some money troubles, and calls up Juno (who has somehow become a criminal mastermind while no one was looking) for a loan. She happily lends her the money, but demands her cats as collateral. Vesta blanches, but agrees to the terms. Current count- 0 cats. This enables her to not only pay her bills, but actually clean up her place, and reminds her that her house is actually quite nice. She even gets to do some gardening (with Sedna's help), and resolves to have a party straightaway.

All in all, a good day. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go bake something.

-The AstroGeek

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Full Moon in Capricorn- Battle Rhythm

Before we get into it this week, id like to send out a very special shoutout to Tracy over at and, without whom none of what I do would be possible.

Ah, Capricorn. Now there is some seriously awesome Astro going on at the 'mo, and even more on the way, not the least of which being Mars in Libra! I was starting to think he'd never leave...

Where was I? Ohyes, Amazingly Awesome Astro, that's right. Ok, so we all survived Mars in Virgo, right? Good. Now you can start putting those fabulous plans into action, and with all the hard work you just put into yourself, there has never been a better time to do it than right now. I know that all you want to do is just relax and just coast from here, but that's not in the cards stars; No, this is Disaster Astro, and what you need to do right now is PUSH in order to make the greatness happen. Good things come to those who work their asses off. 

The Sun and Moon- There is a square to Isis, who tells you to take matters into your own hands and not wait around for the Penny to drop. Get your ass in gear and get it done, minus the drama. A sextile to Sphinx hints that you may not know the full story, but do you really need to hear it? Is it better, just this once, to walk away instead of being strung along for an answer that might never come? A conjunction to Memoria reminds us of how far we have come, and whispers in your ear that yes, you are ready for this, and you will win, if you step up to the plate. A square to Child reinforces this, and demands that you grow up, and be mature about the situation while handling it with grace. A trine to Ascelpius tells you that you are your own best health care expert, because after all, who knows your body better than you? Eat right, exercise and take care of yourself. A square to Zeus drives you on and keeps you motivated by the end goal when all you want to do is quit. Stay in the game.

Mercury- Wow, the prankster is already in Leo, and is getting ready to go Retrograde. Yes, thats right kids, its time to get yourselves all in a tizzy over not signing contracts, ttalking on the phone too much, looking at cows crossways while whistling "Kemptown Races" or whatever the hell else you're not supposed to do during Mercury Retro. And then for all the rest of you who are too smart to fall into the hype, this Retro is going to be... well, now you're just going to have to wait for the post now, aren't you? Wouldn't want to give away the game... Anyways, lets look at aspects. There is a smexy sextile to Venus, so talk softly and say something sweet- It will go a long way. A trine to Uranus has your brain firing on all cylinders and charging ahead full force to help you stay on top of your game. Use it while you have it! A trine to Okyrhoe helps you see beyond the present moment to see the big picture, lending a fresh perspective on your situation. Be careful what you say to others who may not be able to see their way out of a paper bag, however. Another trine, to Chariklo, may leave you feeling like you are just waiting for the right moment to launch yourself out and into the life you're only dreaming of; Well that moment is now, so start the countdown to launch! A conjunction to Achilles helps you move forward confidently, but its up to you to stay humble and use this aspect in the right way. A square to Requiem tells you that there is no rest for the hustlers, and you have miles and miles to go before you sleep. A sextile to Orpheus helps you engender some allies to help further your cause, but be careful they don't have their own reasons for helping you...

Venus- Well, she's direct, I can say that much about her. A sextile to Uranus helps her focus on doing more than just partying all night and sleeping all day. He drags her kicking and screaming to Crossfit, until she discovers that she actually likes it! An opposition to Chariklo demands that you live your own life, and not allow yourself to be trapped by anyone else's definition of what it should be. A square to Elatus has you alternating between manic highs and deep lows emotionally, forcing you to walk the line between these two extremes. An opposition to Okyrhoe may give you a crisis of faith regarding something that really has not had enough time to develop. Breathe, give it some time before you pull the ripcord. A square to Teharonhiawako tells you to take action if something isn't working and speak up if something is going in the wrong direction. Its either that or go down with the ship; you choose. A sextile to Magdalena tells you to stay the course, and keep an open mind and open eyes to watch out for hidden dangers and possible opportunities. A square to Apollo tells us that you will need to acknowledge other people, what they are going through and how far they have come. You never know, you just might find answers in their struggle! Finally, a square to Apophis has you on the warpath, ready to tear down anything that gets in your way at the merest whim. Channel this constructively, work it out in the gym and use it to tear down what isn't working in your life

Mars- Mars goes from 60 to 0 on hitting Libra, breathing a quiet sigh of relief only to realize that he is in Bat Country. A second to pause before resuming the breakneck pace through the sky, please. Just one. Okay, 10. A trine to Asbolus shows that you need to just go in and smash something to bits in order to move on, The Bull in a China Shop approach is called for. Otherwise you'll just get caught up in indecision. A square to Tantalus shows that yes, you can have what you want, but you are going to need to put out your hand and grab it, its not just going to fall in your lap. Go get yours. 

Jupiter- A conjunction to the South Node makes the way forward hard to see, so you revert back to some of your old tricks, and cause yourself unnecessary problems. Keep the faith, and avoid doing anything that you wouldn't want on camera. A square to Hygeia confirms this, and adds that whatever you do, make sure you are safe and get tested afterwards. A sextile to Sisyphus leaves you feeling drained beyond belief, so take some time away from the center stage for yourself. Finally, a square to Burney may leave you in a compromising situation: If you get caught, DO NOT LIE! It will go much, much worse for you when the truth does come out. Just own up to it, and take the consequences. 

Old Dirty Bastard- An opposition to Eris forces you to face reality: Something is not working, and you keep trying to make it work when no one else is. Get out while you can, and you will be amazed at how much better you feel. A trine to Thereus confirms this, and tells you that you can handle the challenge of walking on your own two feet. Start believing in yourself. A square to Varuna tells us that something is brewing behind the scenes, and you do not want to be a part of it. If you are a part of it already, bail. A sextile to Quaoar tells you that you need to really focus on yourself and your personal growth, before you can really relate to others. Finally, a trine to Damocles threatens to bring the sword down and cut through whatever is in the way if you dont do it first. Trust me, its easier to do it yourself. 

The Mad Scientist- The Famous square between him and Stormageddon is heating up, and will continue to do so for the rest of the year. Brace yourselves, you will see more pictures of melting mailboxes on reddit. A trine to Chariklo demands that you respect your own boundaries and those of the people around you, while at the same time allowing room for individual expression. Another trine, to Okyrhoe, helps you stand up for what you believe to be right, regardless of how much criticism you may suffer from doing so. Just do you, eat haters for breakfast. A square to Cyllarus reinforces this, telling you that you do in fact have everything that you need to meet your needs, if you step up and take it. Take pride in yourself and how far you have come, while being humble in your manner. A conjunction to Magdalena tells us that to get where you want to be, you have to be willing to get al ittle dirty, and whole lot scandalous. All's fair in 2012, right?

Neptune- A square to Ceres tells you that no matter what you do and how much you know that it isnt going to work out, those around you are still entitled to do things their way and you do not have the right to cut them off at the knees when they do it. Let go and focus on yourself, so that when it all hits the fan, you can snidely infer that you knew all along that it would not work out. An opposotion to Orcus demands that you stop living in a fantasy and get smart about what is happening in the here and now, and you better do it quickly. An opposition to House may indicates that you have gone as far as you can in a current location, and it may be time to move on to bigger and better things. Let it go, and move forward with as minimal drama as possible.

Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All- A trine to Elatus makes it easier for you to express the darker elements of your nature, and that may lead to some very awkward conversations if you're not careful. In this case, its better to ask permission than need to be bailed out in the morning. An opposition to Cyllarus brings out a compulsion to lash out at others and to project your psychological issues onto the unsuspecting populace. Try to, you know, avoid doing that. A trine to Apophis also indicates this, causing a lot of tension if you try to deny this within yourself. Acknowledge that this is coming from you, and give it an outlet or a channel. A sextile to Teharonhiawako helps you focus and channel all this appropriately, into creative and productive work like hitting the gym, writing, art or music. A trine to Apollo also confirms this, stressing that this may just be the best way to work with the darkness. A square to Magdalena makes it very difficult to keep your path, but very easy to take the easy way out and just preform at your lowest. Don't.

And that'll do it for this Cappy Full Moon, its wild and raw and slightly dangerous, so step lively. The potential for self-destruction is not to be underestimated BUT the potential for awesome and amazing IF YOU ARE HONEST WITH YOURSELF is even greater. So, go get your fabulous on.

Speaking of fabulous, go check out Starzina Starfish-Browne in Starzina Starfish-Browne's Time of The Month Horoscope for Cancer (not to be construed as a monthly pro-Cancer [the disease, not the sign] fundraiser. Such a thing would be quite dastardly and evil, and with all that we spend in healthcare, seemingly uneccessary [although possibly a great racket].) Anyway, go watch the video or she'll make good on her promise to come over and spank me like the dirty boy that I've been. Aw, who am I kidding, she's going to do that anyway.

Your Songs of the Zeitgeist-


Monday, July 2, 2012

Mars in Libra- Bacchanalia

Le sigh. I was doing everything in my power not to acknowledge the silliness that is Magic Mike, but Mars had other ideas. Damn him. Its just too damn convienent to pass up. Ladies, you're welcome; Gentlemen, I know, and I'm so, so sorry. Ill get you back when Venus gets into Cancer.

In other news, MARS IS FINALLY OUT OF FREAKING VIRGO!!!!! That right there deserves a ticker tape parade! I tell you, right there at the end, for about .0002 seconds, I almost lost my cool. But then I got over myself, wrote a sad poem in my journal, and went on with my day.

Ok, so How To Conquer The World With Astrology: Chapter 7- Mars In Libra; "While Mars is in Libra (providing that you survive his transit through Virrrrgo [hmm, did Starzina write this?]) your best course of action is to stifle your inner urge to unleash a shitstorm the likes of which your enemy has never before seen, not even in his worst childhood nightmares, and instead try to find common ground with those who oppose you and work toward a compromise that works for both of you. Or else just smile big and bitch-slap the dumb out of them. You know, whatever works for you."

Okay, that tells us a little, but are there any more handy quotes that I can blatantly plagarize and call my own? Ooh, here's one: "While Mars is in Virrrrrrrrrgo, battles tend to be fought in the arena of the day-to-day mindless drudgery; Wheras in Libra, the battles take place in person-to-person dealings, especially when it comes to relationships. Therefore, you must disguise your insults and motives in politeness, and watch out for backhanded compliments. It never hurts to ooze charm like the proverbial French hooker oozes perfume, or like how Heidi Montag (woah, throwback pop culture reference! When was this thing printed, 2005? Seriously...) oozes shame and dissapointment, or an oozing ooze monster oozes ooze, or... well, you get the idea. A little charm goes a long way. Same goes for party tricks."

Alright, that was good, but is there a strong closer in here that I can ride into the sunset? By Jove, there is! "In summation, the challenge of Mars in Libra is one of balance, compared to Mars in Virrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgo's challenge of quality and getting all the details in order for this challenge to even be possible. In Libra, you will face trials of character, and it will be up to you how you handle them, whether that be with dignity and courage, or of reckless abandon and pettiness. You will need to take decisive action, even though not all the facts are clear, and the path that is most beneficial is unsure. Make a choice and stick with it. If you dont like it later, make a new one. IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD IF YOU MAKE THE WRONG CHOICE. Buck up, write a sad poem in your journal, and move on."

And there you have it, folks- I couldnt have said it better myself. 

Live dangerously
-The AstroGeek