Mars Retrograde- Long Way Home

NA_Biketour_2009_208 by Jole Kiraly, CCL

Effective date: April 17th - June 29th (Shadow period from June 29th through August 23rd)

“If you have men who will only come if they know there is a good road, I don't want them. I want men who will come if there is no road at all.” - David Livingstone

Helios Says: BRRAAAAAP!! BRAAAAAAP!! Hear that? That's the alarm ringing, early as shit and you were out partying the house down last night. That is how we're starting this one, all right!

Oh, and you're late.

Mars is making a strategic retreat out of Sagittarius, stuffing his suitcases as best he can, trying to get out of Vegas before casino security makes it up to his penthouse suite to collect on his severe debt, the size of several Balkan states' worth of GDP (I'm good for it you guys, I swear!!). Unfortunately, with his back against the wall, 40 stories up, he only has one place to go- back into Scorpio. Yes, everyone's favorite, blood-curdling torture den, the stagnant underworld he once called home.

This is the best news you will have all week. You see, apart from being where all the good stuff is (sex, passion, other peoples money, and not to mention all the riches of the earth [apart from oil, which Pisces gets for some reason. Go figure]), Scorpio gives one wonderful, uncomfortable and usually unwanted, yet still completely vital gift: The Truth; the Scorpio truth is one that hides nothing- it is the naked truth. Scorpio will expose the falsehoods, allowing you to take action.

Yes, you read that right; this is not going to be a sit-on-your-ass retrograde, oh no! You will need to make moves, and you will need to make them now, at the least opportune moment. You see, you are already feeling this. You are seeing the truth right NOW, seeing that there is a great deal that is just NOT working in your life. You are not the same person that you were 6 months ago, and the strategies developed then will not serve you now. Currently, you are being overwhelmed by the enormity of how much dysfunction you are facing, and you are frozen in place. You fear losing ground, so you refuse to work with the change that has already occurred. If you do this you will waste valuable time trying to defend a beachhead that you have already lost, and you will make far less headway towards your new goals than you would have otherwise.

There is another option- give up the high ground. The marginal, quantified success that you have made at great cost to you over this last year has been hard fought, I know- But its not the way. It has come at such a cost because you were fighting the way to get here, and you thought you were overcoming the odds. You thought it was what you wanted, you thought it was for the best- You were wrong. If you can face that, and you can accept it, you can change and move forward in the right way.

You faced the call last year to throw your middle fingers up and walk the path alone, daring you yo  plunge into the unknown with no guarantees. It understandably terrified you, and you returned to safety, not knowing that you were running full-bore into a slow death, losing that precious progress that you had made. You went against your own best interest and acted against your own self-love. Of course, you didnt know this at the time- Now you do. The dysfunction you face is because of this, and it is also the solution to your problem: The areas in your life highlighted by the dysfunction you must correct by acting in your own best interest- By loving yourself first, and making the best choices accordingly, you will succeed. This will not be easy, and it will seem like you are surrendering. That is the fear mentality talking- Your fear of failure must be overcome here and now, because there is just no other way. Embrace what seems to be a failure, and fuck what everyone else thinks. Act in your own best interest, because you're going to die anyway- might as well be the one in the driver's seat!


Artemis Says: 

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger."  -Buddha

Talk about being on edge...  We are being told two contradictory things from this planet.  On one hand, we have the Saggo aspect urging us to move forward and start a new phase of our lives.  It is the turning of the seasons in many ways for us right now.  And then, on the other hand, Mars going into retrograde is telling us to HALT.  It's feels like we are pressing the gas and pressing the brakes at the same time.  It doesn't feel very pleasant, does it?

When Mars starts moving backwards in the sky (retrograde), we lose our vitality.  We are in the shadow period for Mars retrograde as I write this.  A looming silence is on the horizon, and it threatens to thwart all of our plans.  It is a pretty well known thing that anything initiated during Mars in retrograde will likely fizzle out.  Financial plans, new projects, romances, etc.  Mars rules sex and industry, so expect setbacks in both of these areas.  With Venus in sexfest Aries, this will bring very conflicting feelings.

Arguments are easy to come by during Mars retrograde.  Everyone is constantly a hair away from losing their shit, and the smallest things seem to annoy us.  Sounds aggravating, doesn't it?  This aspect is not only rough for your personal life, but it can create major rage fests in the political sphere as well.  With our current political climate, that doesn't sound very good.

We are going to want to change - be dying for it in fact.  But Mars is going to tell us NO.  Taurus season is coming, and we are going to need to slow the hot Aries energy.  The 4 of Swords tells us that people will withdraw and obsess (which will get even worse once the sun moves into uber obsessive Taurus).  We have a very hard full moon coming our way, and with Mars in this aspect, we are going to need to get as much healing done as possible.  This is a time to rest - both mentally and physically.  Be very delicate around those you love because the smallest annoyances can lead to giant flare ups.  Be kind to each other.  We are a long way from home and we are all we've got in this strange land.  

Cards:  The Wheel and 4 of Swords

Full Moon in Scorpio- Skeletons

Day of the Dead San Francisco 2012 by Brian B. Sorensen

This Transit takes effect on April 21, 2016.

“Way far back in the beginning of the world was the whirlwind warning that we could all be blown away like chips and cry- Men with tired eyes realize it now, and wait to deform and decay- with maybe they have the power of love yet in their hearts just the same, I just don't know what that word means anymore- All I want is an ice cream cone” -Jack Kerouac

Helios Says:  *Sigh* Life.... What is the point to it all? Does any of it matter? Why do we bother? We stumble blindly through time, cocking up everything we touch, experiencing a few fleeting moments of joy to break the monotony of the stinging misery that otherwise encircles us. None of us asked to be born, we just had all this merde thrust upon us. Sure, the grand traditions are there to try and offer us solace, a reason for being, some bullshit about learning lessons or whatnot- but the truth is no one truly knows what the point is, or what happens when we die. Our future is unclear, and our past depends on the perspective- All we know is the present, and that is suffering. 

It's not getting any better. Take each moment as it is the best on you will have to look forward to, because it gets increasingly likely that will be the case.

Artemis Says:

“With my ninth mind I resurrect my first
and dance slow to the music of my soul made new.” 
― Aberjhani, Visions of a Skylark Dressed in Black

Oh gods, here comes the Scorpio full moon.  Can you think of anything more dreadful right now?  I hope you figured out how to contain that Aries fire, because you're really going to need it now.  With Saturn in retrograde, this Scorpion full moon is going to dig all of the skeletons out of our closets.  I know with some of you those things should never see the light of day, so that's kinda scary, not gunna lie.  Motherfucking GHOSTS.  They will come in the form of nightmares.  They will come in the form of anxiety.  They will come in the physical form knocking at your door.  What does Casper say?  Ghosts can't move on if they have unfinished business.  You're either going to give up and live with them in your haunted house, or you're going to become a motherfuckin' exorcist.  Your choice.  Can you dance with the devil and finish your unfinished business?

Helios Says:  The Sun and Moon- Huh. Nothing else? That's new and different. Well, what isn't different is that we are going into this one exhausted. You are questioning your life, what matters, and what doesn't. I've been telling you for some time now that you need to make choices along those lines and cut away what doesn't serve you anymore, but have you been listening? Noooooooo, you thought you could just keep stalling, didn't you? Well now you don't have any more time, and you have to make those cuts NOW or they will be made for you. You are running out of time to hide. Everything will come to light, sooner rather than later. However, you still have a few precious moments left to choose a new way forward and throw yourself down it. I heartily recommend that you do so before it is too late.

Artemis Says: The Sun in Taurus:  For the sun, I pulled the card 4 of Wands.  Back from the dead.  The Taurus sun will start shining on the sacred holiday of 4/20 *puff puff pass*.  This means that this new sun will be hit with a full moon quite fresh off the runway.  Scorpio and Taurus are opposites on the Zodiac wheel, meaning that they share a good amount of traits and then differ quite drastically in others.  They have the same sort of feel to them; like super hero and arch-villain.  They couldn't exist without each other.  Where the Scorpio moon may be haunting us about our poverty right now, the young Taurus sun is enthusiastically reminding us of our goal.  Your sun sign in astrology is the archetype you are STRIVING to become (as opposed to your moon sign, which is how you react to the world and more of your personality - it is your instinctual reactions).  We are striving toward this celebratory 4 of wands; getting exactly what we want.  Don't take your eye off the prize.  Charge at it like a bull.

The Moon in Scorpio:  For the moon, I pulled the card 5 of pentacles.  This card is all about poverty and what we learn about ourselves when we finally hit rock bottom.  When we are in desperation, we are only kept alive by the most gnawing of needs.  Dive deep, babies, clean your closets once and for all.  These things that are living here, creating weights for your wings, they must be removed before you can live a full life.  I know you're tired.  Trust me, we all are.  We have had unfinished business coming at us since Saturn started his retrograde a few weeks ago, so we should be getting our bearings right now.  You've got this, punks.  You've fought these mini bosses before, and you're still here today.  Now finish them!

Helios Says:  Mercury, Venus, Uranus and Chiron- Now this is more like it. Here, we see the real heart of the issue- You have lost your way, and have no idea where to go from here. You are afraid, and feeling nothing is much easier than facing that fear. You have been hurt, and instead of licking your wounds and stepping back out into the world, you have retreated further inside yourself, hiding from any potential to be hurt again. I tell you that you are wasting your life by allowing this to continue. Fear has you paralyzed, and it is killing you one day at a time. Your despondency has become inertia, and your ennui a crutch- Get off the couch and back into the game! You only have so many moments here, make them count. Schluff off your baggage and step lively.

Artemis Says:  Mercury in Taurus:  For Mercury, I pulled the card Temperance.   I know you're all planning, darlings.  I know, because you are listening.  I know, because I scared you enough.  What's the plan, punks?  Take your time.  Measure it out.  Get a white board and start learning alchemy.  Put the pieces together slowly.  Mercury in Taurus will help you.  Be clear with your communication.  Say things plainly.  People will be easily confused (which may work to your advantage, I don't know your life).  Things set into motion right now will take some time to manifest, but I assure you they will be stronger, more sturdy plans than anything made back in Aries.  Your Aries plans were the beta version.  It's time to solidify the real deal.

Venus in Aries:  For Venus in Aries, I pulled the card Ace of Cups.  Oh I'm so sorry, punks, this is going to be a rough one.  It's a big wave, this ace of cups, a huge huge wave of emotion.  Now we can ride this thing a few ways.  Yes, ride like a bucking ram, because that is what this thing will be!  So a lot of overwhelming emotion is rupturing the enforcement we thought were sturdy enough  It's fine, really.  All those damn skeletons coming out of the closet and all of this stress from attempting so desperately to plan for the future...  I get it, I get it, but really there are two ways to ride this experience; accept things for what they are and use this powerful emotional energy to fuel things that make you feel good, or succumb to it all and drown in your sorrows.  The cup is full.  Will you drink from it, or will you shove your face in it and drown?  Like seriously, don't be dumb.  It's always your choice.  And who drowns in a cup?

Uranus in Aries:  For Uranus in Aries, I pulled the King of Wands.  So, a challenge!  Uranus is not giving up on us.  He is warning us of what's to come and what we need to become in order to fight it.  We need to become an unashamed version of ourselves.  Eris and Uranus conjunct is coming (June 1), and it's going to be an eruption.  Uranus is also pelting our public sphere with more chaos.  What's going to happen with all of this new information coming in?  The political sphere is going to get hotter and hotter still into the summer.

Helios Says:  Mars and Neptune- And here's where that ennui is coming from. You are burying yourself, probably under work or something, distracting yourself from the real problems in your life so that you don't have to deal with them. Well, burying your head in the sand isn't going to change the fact that you are in serious trouble. You are going to need to take action, and you are going to need to do it ASAP. You will need to break free of the stagnancy you find yourself in. You will lose something you once deemed important, and may yet still, but its time has come. Cut it away from you before it drags you down into the depths. You cannot see how much damage it is doing to you, and it would do significantly less if you moved on from it. Quit trying to fix what is broken, before it breaks you too.

Artemis Says: Mars in Sagg Retrograde:  For Mars in Sagg Retrograde, I pulled 9 of Swords.  Ok, so 9 of Swords traditionally means "nightmares."  Which makes sense right now, doesn't it?  All of our energy is being drained by these nightmares.  People's fears are surfacing in the public sphere as well as privately.  There is a quite desperation going on and a lack of energy in general.  We may have had a plan and it is failing us.  That's okay.  We learned what doesn't work.  Time to get back up on that horse.  The nightmares, the unresolved business, is coming right at us.  Don't let being knocked off your horse a few times get to you.  You're still alive, aren't you?  Please don't tell me you are the type who gives up in the middle of a fight...

Neptune in Pisces:  For Neptune in Pisces, I pulled the Queen of Swords.  Well, darlings, at least we will be cutting through some of this illusion bullshit.  The world is going to seem a bit... cold right now.  Don't fret.  Keep your eye on the prize, like an oasis in the distance.  We are going to all cross this desert together.  And no matter how tired we get, we need to continue to be decisive and always choose to cut through the bullshit or it will swallow us whole.  Neptune is getting close to going into Retrograde again (June 13), so the bullshit will get easier and easier to see.  This is good news, punks!

Helios Says:  Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto- As you can see, the Super Saiyan energy has been lessened somewhat, due to Uranus separating from the pack in preparation for his date with Eris. That doesn't mean you should discount its influence, however. Right now, it is serving to isolate and insulate you, putting you in a corner by yourself, so that you can prove what you are capable of. Take advantage of your isolation, get your house in order while no one is looking. This is the time to take the steps that others would discourage you from, but the downfall is that you don't have anyone to turn to for good advice and feedback. Sure, you want to wallow in self-pity and do nothing but binge Netflix, since no one is calling you to go out to the best parties and you see the hoes hooking up and professing their love, but its far better to put the headphones on, go to the gym and get that summer body ready now while you have fewer distractions. One good habit will lead to another, and then change will follow. For the better.  

Artemis Says: Jupiter in Virgo Retrograde:  For Jupiter in Virgo Retrograde, I pulled 7 of Swords.  More bad news, babies.  This card is downright insecurity.  What do people do when they are insecure?  They start hurting themselves and those around them.  You are nitpicking at yourself.  Seriously, stop that shit!  If you look suuuper closely, you will see that your plans are actually starting to take form.  This card tells us that those little things we have been doing - the sneaking around for information or the tip toeing around our enemies - is paying off.  You're going to need to continue to have your wits about you.  It's going to take every ounce of our craftiness to get ahead right now.  We have to use the magnifying glass that is Virgo and find the little details that are going to help our big picture.  You need to believe in yourself and your intuition more than ever now. You're going to need to be clever.


Saturn in Sagg Retrograde:  For Saturn in Sagg Retrograde, I pulled the Hangman.  Saturn is reminding us that he is fucking with time right now.  Ghosts from the past are coming at us.  Reverberations from the future are smacking us in the face.  Our present is showing us how it has effected both the future and the past.  How the hell is this even happening?  Stay still.  Stay centered.  Breathe.  We can do this.  Slay one ghost at a time.

Pluto in Capricorn Retrograde:  For Pluto in in Capricorn Retrograde, I pulled the Ace of Wands.  Pluto is murdering things behind the scenes.  He is like the Freddy of our past right now.  If you so choose to let something go, Pluto will make sure you are transformed.  You have an ally right now.  The Planet of death and rebirth will work behind the scenes and pinpoint exactly what needs to die via your level of desire for the thing.  You're going to KNOW what needs to die, and subconsciously you are taking the steps to kill this thing.  Have you  noticed?  Only the things that matter most can survive right now.  It's time to transform.  It's time to choose to become a higher version of yourself so you can face what's ahead.  What are you going to choose to kill?  What's keeping you from moving forward?

One more thing on Pluto and Jupiter - the combination of the 7 of Swords and Ace of Wands tends to mean that this is the perfect time to get ahead in business.

Mercury Retrograde in Capricorn/ Future 2016- Back To Hell

Torches in the Night by Marjan Lazarevski, CCL

Oh, here we go again… Yes y’all, right out of the gate in 2016 we have a Mercury Retrograde! That’s right- the transit that drags all the hack astrologers shrieking like harpies about contracts and data usage, or some such nonsense like the soot-ridden, rag-wearing oracles of old. Bless.

Now 2015 was a shitshow, we can all admit that now. Sure it had great moments, as all years do, but I’d never want to relive it if I had the chance, unless there was a LOT that I could change. I’m sure that I’m not alone in that, either. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what is on the agenda for this transit; fortunately, you have me to guide you through, like the Psychopomp himself, and have I ever steered you wrong before?

…Actually don’t answer that. Not sure my ego could handle it.

Back to Mercury! So hes going to be a right asshole this time, dragging you back through the drama of the last month or so, seemingly rehashing every lesson and failure of 2015, and glossing over your wins. No one wants a feel-good story anymore, there is only tragedy. Since it’s going to be mostly in Capricorn, this will mostly be concerns of status, and your place in the world. You will be made painfully aware (again) of just how low on the totem pole of society you are right now. This Astro will be cruel and cutting- Capricorn suffers no fools, and neither does Mercury to be quite honest.

Now, this is better than it sounds, because like all Astro, there is a purpose to it. The pressure and resentment of those above you who hold you down and crush you underfoot will build and build, and you will see a way to overcome it. That’s right, you’re not waiting anymore. No more Mr. Nice Guy; not with Mars in Scorpio (oldie, but goodie. In fact, the entire Scorpio Black Ops series is relevant again!), aiding and abetting Mercury. This pressure from without will build and build within you, and it will be up to you to allow it to explode, or channel it into building towards your own dreams- and what a year to do it! That’s right, its finally time to talk about the events of this coming summer, aka the conjunction of Uranus and motherfucking ERIS, in Aries! God help us all, these two are going to burn it all and dance maniacally in the embers. This was building last year, and still is, but will hit at the beginning of June. You are officially on 6-month notice. For now, channel the rage without suppressing it, every indignity and slight, while plotting the best revenge- getting out and living your life on YOUR terms. Use Eris, goddess of strife, to help you reach what you are striving for. You have been preparing for this since 2011, and while the odds have never been more stacked against you, it wouldn’t be fair otherwise with how far you have come. You can absolutely do this, you know you can. All it takes is doing the thing. Nothing to it!

Oh and no new phone contracts. Just to be safe.

Venus in Aries- G.I. Jane

Not even a day into Aries and we already have to deal with Venus. Girl is on fire right now, figuratively speaking. As she moves into Aries (Gearing up for my personal Venus Return!) get your ass ready to go conquer the world. That's right guys, i'm officially giving you my blessing to quit the skullduggery and innuendo (not that you needed it, or are inclined to care at the moment!), and start putting all those schemes and plots into action! Besides, Aries is a god-awful time to try to get away with any bullshit, its nigh-impossible.

So how to use this she-devil, Hell-on-high-heels energy? Of course it all depends on your chart, but as a general rule; Go for the simple yet audacious, don't back down or shy away from anything you want, strip away any guile or deception, conquer on the battlefield, and when all else fails- just ask for what you want! You might be surprised.

Don't get too bogged down by admin crap and the little things- Find someone you trust to help you work out the details, trust me. And try not to overdo it, nothing is worse than Aries energy that gets out of control, except maybe Aries with no challenges or outlet! And no, there arent enough hours in the day.

This is exactly what the Doctor ordered though (hehehe!) and will help you get out of your current slump/ ennui/ doldrums. Channel it correctly, push yourself, keep climbing, and  you'll shock both yourself and all those around you. Seriously. Aries thats applied and directed is pure dead magic. The best part? Its magic that comes from you- All you need to do is put in the sweat equity!

Oh and of course, we're gearing up for the Mars/Venus conjunction, so watch out for that.

To the Victor go the spoils!
-The AstroGeel 

Mars in Pisces- The Grace of the Warrior

So these guys... Mars into Pisces is part one of the days shenanigans; We also have to deal with Venus moving into Aquarius. So lets just focus on the warrior for the moment, eh?

Mars into Pisces... Christ, this one is always difficult and thats coming from someone who has it natally. So what can we expect with our boy about to dive into the Piscean abyss? Well, normally id just advise against anything that involves direct, decisive action, and prepare to spend a lot of time in seedy bars doing seedy things.

This time however its different, because of the aforementioned Venus craziness. We have to look at them together. Normally, id say that Mars in Pisces will cause you to act from a more emotional place than you would usually act from, and all actions taken must be in line with where you want to be in your path in a universal sense.

Heres the thing- I can talk about how you need to identify what you want and to go for it til im blue in the face, but in the end it has to come from you. And once you do that, you then are faced with a serious conundrum that everyone who has done this has faced, right alongside you- Where do I start?

Whenever someone asks me this, I always say the same thing- "At the beginning". Usually I get hit for being trite, but its true. You have to define a goal, set your trajectory towards it, then take steps to get there. Its not a one-step process, nor is it one size fits all. And in Pisces its even more difficult, because Pisces never takes the straight path- Hell they're lucky if they keep moving forward! The Fishes swirl around, moving this way and that, exploring all possible avenues. So when you start doing this, dont be alarmed- You know where its coming from.

The scene you have to face- Straight out of the gate, Mars runs into Neptune. These two do not play well with each other, especially when its on Neptune's terms. Seriously, avoid substance abuse- It becomes heightened with these guys. Once hes clear of Neptune, he hits Chiron, forcing him to confront what he has been ignoring. You have two choices- Do it with humility and awareness, and gain emotional growth and reclaiming a lot of inner peace. Or you could do it the other way, and play the victim, screaming out "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING??" to anyone who will listen, but that way has so much sturm und drang and drama, why would you want to? Nah, go with the mature way. Channel the warrior and make some shit happen. And make the gym your refuge for gods sake- Everyone has to have somewhere, and Mars loves the gym- Its all he freaking talks about anymore.

Win
-The AstroGeek

Mars in Aquarius- Unconventional Tactics

Alright Hellraisers! Mars is officially into Aquarius, and there are some things you need to know to rock this out.

Since Uranus is in Aries, this is yet another mutual reception, which means the planets work together to support actions taken, to varying degrees of efficiacy. With Mars and Uranus, you can definitely believe there is going to be some action here, and it will be FAST! The trouble is, its going to be very hard to predict and prepare for it.

With this, Mars helps to discipline Uranus' insanity a lot, and channel his brilliance where it would actually be productive. For his part, Uranus lights a fire under Mars' ass and opens him up to whole new worlds that he had never cared to explore before. Its good for both of them.

What it isnt is stable. These two do not lend themselves easily to anything that might help make it last, so your job is to capitalize on the moment and put in the work to use these crazy skies for your own benefit.

How do you do this, you ask? Easy- You have to know your chart though, for maximum effect. Wherever these two are in the chart is about to be lit up like 10,000 Christmas trees. For me, its the 2nd and 4th houses, so money and security are the focal points right now for your not-so-humble Astrologer. So go buy some consults, and help me feed my legal team (seriously, they're about to riot, or at least demand to be paid...). Once you know your chart, just do Mars and allow for the insanity of Uranus in those particular areas, and watch the awesome transpire!

Today and tommorow are the absolute best days to get on top of this, as the transit will be exact then, but these two will be in mutual reception til February starts, so youll have some time. But start now, and prepare for awesome!

-The AstroGeek

Mars in Capricorn: Lonely at the Top

Well Hellraisers, its time to get moving again. Im sure you already knew that though. Whenever Mars changes signs, you can feel it in the air. Ive beasted out three posts tonight alone! And this isnt any old sign, no siree- This is Capricorn! And that is important, guys. You see, Mars in Cap is kind of special. Of course, Mars always thinks he's special. Ya see, traditionally, Mars in Cap is referred to as Exalted. And Cap loves tradition oh so much. This also goes into the fact that technically we are in a state of a double mutual reception, as Mars used to (and still technically is) the ruler of Scorpio, making all three of them nothing but stronger. Joy.

Now this has got me thinking (not for the first time) about the very idea of traditional rulership and exaltation, an idea I never could quite wrap my head around, yet I couldnt deny that it worked quite well. So it gnawed away at me, an unanswered challenge. Today, I had an insight- Maybe it only works if we look at it from the signs point of view.

Hear me out- I have two planets in exaltation- Jupiter and the Moon (a potent combo, which just so happen to be exactly sextile as well); Now Jupiter is exalted in Cancer, something I always thought an arbitrary countermeasure to Saturns Dignity in Capricorn (going back to the myth of Zeus and Cronus), but I was thinking- Maybe the planet has something that the sign needs. For instance, Cancer tends to create a safe, sheltered nest/womb for its loved ones. Jupiter doesnt- He is all about broadening horizons, growing, and moving up and out. At first glance these two dont work out so hot, but if you consider that the shadow of Cancer tends to come in smothering and refusing to let your loved ones leave the nest, then it makes more sense. The Moon tells Taurus to go deeper and experience more, Saturn helps Libra maintain the balance and not get stuck in ambivalence, Mercury helps Aquarius make connections that it normally wouldn't see and so on.

Now how does that carry over into Mars in Capricorn? Well, lets talk about Capricorn for a sec. Capricorn has so many schemes and ideas, and knows exactly where they want to go in life (at least after their Saturn Return they do). The hard part for them is putting them into action. This is not to say that Cap is lazy (try it, you're bound to get hit)- quite the opposite actually. The problem is that Cap gets so burnt out, so easily, and they refuse to acknowledge it. Enter Mars, planet of Energy. The two are a match made in hell. Mars kicks the already workaholic Cap into overdrive, and the rest of us just have to get out of the way before we get steamrolled! Adding into that, in the very oldest stories of Mars (we're talking deep deep time here) he was revered as the god of the harvest. This is also true of Saturn, ruler of Cap.

So, how do you rock this out? Cake. Get your goal. Plot your course. Drop your shoulders and just plow through anything in your way. Crush all opposition. Be back in time for tea.

Are you man enough, soldier?
-The AstroGeek 

Scorpio Black Ops, Act I: Mars into Scorpio- Den of Iniquity

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a bit of a situation on hands, and a very active sky above our heads. Its another Kansas City Shuffle, and we have to watch everything so we dont miss it. First up- Mars in Scorpio (and the Sun in Virgo, but thats a different banana altogether)!

And thank the gods for it! Finally we are out of Libra (insert string of expletives here) and its time to stop walking on eggshells. Ladies and Gentlemen, its time to get pissed and play dirty, and god help anyone who stands in your way.

Ya see, Mars loves him some Scorp. He is the traditional ruler of the sign (before Pluto came up and took over) and still has strong ties to it. Mars in Scorpio is a mixed bag (hell, its astrology- when ISNT it a mixed bag?) but the core of his expression here is about getting down to the nitty gritty, without all the flowery masks of Libra and finding out what is really true, no matter what it is. Mars here has no time for games (but plenty of patience for a well-executed plan) and will suffer no fools. The masks come off here to reveal the beast below. 

There is a lot of squinty-eyed intensity flying around during Mars in Scorpio, and this may not be easy for you, especially if you deal with the public. Mars here makes for easily bruised egos, and has the added bonus of making those whose egos are bruised fight back rabidly to avenge their honor or some such nonsense. The gifts that he brings with him are raw power, ability to smell bullshit a mile away, an iron will and unbreakable focus, so its not all bad.

Of course, we cant look at Scorpio without checking in on Pluto, still rolling through Capricorn like a boss. These two will play off of each other, and will work together to cause shenanigans on a hertofore unseen level, as the gods of the Underworld and War are wont to do. Try not to get hit by shrapnel.

Seriously though, there is a tendency to become extremely callous during this transit. If you start saying things like "collateral damage", "acceptable losses" or "cannon fodder" you may want to reconsider your direction. Unless your life direction deals with cannons (or any kind of high grade explosives) currently (which is awesome, and further proves im in the wrong business), in which case I suppose an exception can be made. 

So basically, we're walking into a minefield. And this is only the beginning...

Step lively

-The AstroGeek

New Moon in Leo- So Hot Right Now

No Derek, not when its still Leo Season... Just keep calm and work on Magnum.

Ladies and Gentlemen, you're going to want to take the time to relax and recharge your batteries now while it lasts, because next up is craziness. We're staring down another dose of the Cardinal Crisis, and Pretty Much Everything moving into Scorpio. Oh yes, there will be fuqery and silliness, and a hefty dose of glaring/eyefucking at anything that moves. Perfect your look now.


Now, on to the other Astro...

The Sun and Moon- Well, this is going to start out with a tight sextile to Saturn and Mars (ohyes, its going to be one of those Moons... Better get your big girl panties on, princess), so drama is a big no no, and serious, sobering reality checks abound. If you're deluding yourself, your ego will be cut to the quick faster than you can say "Sassafras" BUT at the end of the day you will be left with a much more realistic and truthful view of your situation, so not all bad, right? Tons of potential if you do it right, just not the most cheerful skies. And lets not forget the trine to Eris, stirring up just enough trouble to get you to stop causing it. An opposition to Nessus brings some tough love to the table, bringing your animal nature up to the surface so that you can either fall to it or choose to reject it. Not a choice to make lightly. A square to Diana confirms this, but stresses that there may be a middle way that you're not seeing. A square to Terpsichore tells you to do what makes you come alive, even though it isn't easy at all. You have to be your own cheerleader. A trine to Bienor confirms this, and makes it very easy to fall back into old "Oh, why ME??" traps. We are way past that, don't stumble now. A sextile to Toro helps you keep pushing even though you just want to quit. Dont stop now. A square to Sedna shows that you need to deal with what you're missing in your life. Identify it, figure out a way to get it, and then focus on what you have right now. Dont give it up so cheaply, you worked hard for this.

Mercury- Finally Direct, its full steam ahead for The Tweaker. A sextile to Altjira and trine to Okyrhoe AND Uranus AND Pallas Athene helps you to get the perspective you need to make informed decisions, but a square to Kassandra may make you question and reject sound advice, even if its your own. A quincunx to Pluto and Chiron tells us that you may know what you need to do in your head, but knowing what to do and getting the courage to do it are two very different things. Dont let fear and pain from the past hold you back, you're not going that way.

Venus- Our girl is happily rolling around in Cancer, making life generally more bearable, one batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies at a time. There is a cloud hanging overhead, however... An opposition to Pluto keeps trying to encroach on the fantasy and bring the reality into focus, but damnit if she isnt ignoring his every intrusion like its her job (which, here, it kind of is) A square to Uranus and Pallas Athene is no help either, acting like rowdy kids that have had waaaaaay too much sugar for anyone's good. A trine to Chiron suggests the answer isnt at the bottom of your Valium Martini. What's a mom to do? A sextile to Elatus keeps your spirits up and looking on the bright side. A conjunction to Cyllarus can lead you to do too much for others, make sure your own needs are being met. An opposition to Crantor also confirms this, make sure you are keeping strong emotional boundaries. A trine to Deucalion and Heracles can leave you very beleaguered, yet paradoxically gives you all the strength you need to meet the needs of the day. A trine to Ceto warns of unresolved emotional issues that may spring up without notice. Stay on guard. An opposition to Icarus shows that now might not be the best time to stretch your wings; Wait out the storm.

Mars and Saturn- Ah, Mars conjunct Saturn... I look forward to this aspect every year, its great medicine! It can be a bit intense, however! Constructive action is so important right now. Stay ahead of the curve. A square to Varuna tells you to work behind the scenes and get out of the limelight for a bit. It will help you get loads done. A quincunx to Sedna has your focus on matters of the heart; Invest some time with your loved ones. An opposition to Bienor shows that even though the odds are stacked against you, persistence and resolute focus will help you win the day. You're stronger than you think. A conjunction to Isis shows that you will achieve your goals, by any means necessary. A trine to Toro not only confirms this, but ensures it. You will have to make difficult decisions however. A sextile to Sisyphus shows that you are feeling as though your situation is hopeless, its really not. Keep pushing. A square to Orpheus tells you to rally support from your circle, it will be key to your victory.

Jupiter- Gearing up to go Retrograde and looking extremely suspicious with the large black marker in his hand, Papa Jupiter needs at least one set of eyes on him at all times (Don't Blink). An opposition to Amycus shows a heightened propensity for rash action that is extremely ill-advised. Consider all your options and make sure that you're not missing something. A conjunction to Vesta confirms this, and suggests maybe letting someone else shoot themselves in the foot while you sit back and watch. A trine to Pandora warns you against pushing things too far, and not giving them enough time to succeed. A square to Siwa tells you that you still have to do some demolition in order to clear your build site for a new project. Do it without emo drama; quickly and cleanly- A professional job.

Uranus- Still traveling with Pallas Athene, The Mad Scientist demands you expand your horizons and think bigger than you have before. A trine to Chariklo and Okyrhoe confirm this, and tell you to go deeper. A square to Kronos pushes you to do what you want, and have no regrets doing it. Look for authentic experiences that really speak to you. A trine to Hidalgo drives you to speak out for what's right and stand up for yourself and others. Do not allow yourself to be silenced. A sextile to Phaethon has you in the view of those who can help you, and they like what they see. Capitalize on that.

Neptune- A square to the Nodes still has you questioning your path, but dont look for anything to be resolved just yet. Keep asking questions and dont settle. A conjunction to Lilith (the Asteroid, not BML) and a square to Asbolus confirm this, and tell you that right now you shouldn't be focused on the big picture; handle today's challenges. A trine to Hades shows that you need to clear your way ahead before you can really progress. Stay unattached and light and you'll go far.

Pluto- Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All, is in a hell of a mood and has no time for your insufferable and endless questioning! Come back later when something's actually happening.

Til then, as always go check out the Fabulous Starzina Starfish-Browne and her Amazing Rodents er, Time of the Month Horoscope!

Geronimo!!
The AstroGeek

Your songs of the Zeitgeist-

   

EDIT- Added Jupiter

Mars in Libra- Bacchanalia

Le sigh. I was doing everything in my power not to acknowledge the silliness that is Magic Mike, but Mars had other ideas. Damn him. Its just too damn convienent to pass up. Ladies, you're welcome; Gentlemen, I know, and I'm so, so sorry. Ill get you back when Venus gets into Cancer.

In other news, MARS IS FINALLY OUT OF FREAKING VIRGO!!!!! That right there deserves a ticker tape parade! I tell you, right there at the end, for about .0002 seconds, I almost lost my cool. But then I got over myself, wrote a sad poem in my journal, and went on with my day.

Ok, so How To Conquer The World With Astrology: Chapter 7- Mars In Libra; "While Mars is in Libra (providing that you survive his transit through Virrrrgo [hmm, did Starzina write this?]) your best course of action is to stifle your inner urge to unleash a shitstorm the likes of which your enemy has never before seen, not even in his worst childhood nightmares, and instead try to find common ground with those who oppose you and work toward a compromise that works for both of you. Or else just smile big and bitch-slap the dumb out of them. You know, whatever works for you."

Okay, that tells us a little, but are there any more handy quotes that I can blatantly plagarize and call my own? Ooh, here's one: "While Mars is in Virrrrrrrrrgo, battles tend to be fought in the arena of the day-to-day mindless drudgery; Wheras in Libra, the battles take place in person-to-person dealings, especially when it comes to relationships. Therefore, you must disguise your insults and motives in politeness, and watch out for backhanded compliments. It never hurts to ooze charm like the proverbial French hooker oozes perfume, or like how Heidi Montag (woah, throwback pop culture reference! When was this thing printed, 2005? Seriously...) oozes shame and dissapointment, or an oozing ooze monster oozes ooze, or... well, you get the idea. A little charm goes a long way. Same goes for party tricks."

Alright, that was good, but is there a strong closer in here that I can ride into the sunset? By Jove, there is! "In summation, the challenge of Mars in Libra is one of balance, compared to Mars in Virrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgo's challenge of quality and getting all the details in order for this challenge to even be possible. In Libra, you will face trials of character, and it will be up to you how you handle them, whether that be with dignity and courage, or of reckless abandon and pettiness. You will need to take decisive action, even though not all the facts are clear, and the path that is most beneficial is unsure. Make a choice and stick with it. If you dont like it later, make a new one. IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD IF YOU MAKE THE WRONG CHOICE. Buck up, write a sad poem in your journal, and move on."

And there you have it, folks- I couldnt have said it better myself. 

Live dangerously

-The AstroGeek