Full Moon in Scorpio- Skeletons

Day of the Dead San Francisco 2012 by Brian B. Sorensen

This Transit takes effect on April 21, 2016.

“Way far back in the beginning of the world was the whirlwind warning that we could all be blown away like chips and cry- Men with tired eyes realize it now, and wait to deform and decay- with maybe they have the power of love yet in their hearts just the same, I just don't know what that word means anymore- All I want is an ice cream cone” -Jack Kerouac

Helios Says:  *Sigh* Life.... What is the point to it all? Does any of it matter? Why do we bother? We stumble blindly through time, cocking up everything we touch, experiencing a few fleeting moments of joy to break the monotony of the stinging misery that otherwise encircles us. None of us asked to be born, we just had all this merde thrust upon us. Sure, the grand traditions are there to try and offer us solace, a reason for being, some bullshit about learning lessons or whatnot- but the truth is no one truly knows what the point is, or what happens when we die. Our future is unclear, and our past depends on the perspective- All we know is the present, and that is suffering. 

It's not getting any better. Take each moment as it is the best on you will have to look forward to, because it gets increasingly likely that will be the case.

Artemis Says:

“With my ninth mind I resurrect my first
and dance slow to the music of my soul made new.” 
― Aberjhani, Visions of a Skylark Dressed in Black

Oh gods, here comes the Scorpio full moon.  Can you think of anything more dreadful right now?  I hope you figured out how to contain that Aries fire, because you're really going to need it now.  With Saturn in retrograde, this Scorpion full moon is going to dig all of the skeletons out of our closets.  I know with some of you those things should never see the light of day, so that's kinda scary, not gunna lie.  Motherfucking GHOSTS.  They will come in the form of nightmares.  They will come in the form of anxiety.  They will come in the physical form knocking at your door.  What does Casper say?  Ghosts can't move on if they have unfinished business.  You're either going to give up and live with them in your haunted house, or you're going to become a motherfuckin' exorcist.  Your choice.  Can you dance with the devil and finish your unfinished business?

Helios Says:  The Sun and Moon- Huh. Nothing else? That's new and different. Well, what isn't different is that we are going into this one exhausted. You are questioning your life, what matters, and what doesn't. I've been telling you for some time now that you need to make choices along those lines and cut away what doesn't serve you anymore, but have you been listening? Noooooooo, you thought you could just keep stalling, didn't you? Well now you don't have any more time, and you have to make those cuts NOW or they will be made for you. You are running out of time to hide. Everything will come to light, sooner rather than later. However, you still have a few precious moments left to choose a new way forward and throw yourself down it. I heartily recommend that you do so before it is too late.

Artemis Says: The Sun in Taurus:  For the sun, I pulled the card 4 of Wands.  Back from the dead.  The Taurus sun will start shining on the sacred holiday of 4/20 *puff puff pass*.  This means that this new sun will be hit with a full moon quite fresh off the runway.  Scorpio and Taurus are opposites on the Zodiac wheel, meaning that they share a good amount of traits and then differ quite drastically in others.  They have the same sort of feel to them; like super hero and arch-villain.  They couldn't exist without each other.  Where the Scorpio moon may be haunting us about our poverty right now, the young Taurus sun is enthusiastically reminding us of our goal.  Your sun sign in astrology is the archetype you are STRIVING to become (as opposed to your moon sign, which is how you react to the world and more of your personality - it is your instinctual reactions).  We are striving toward this celebratory 4 of wands; getting exactly what we want.  Don't take your eye off the prize.  Charge at it like a bull.

The Moon in Scorpio:  For the moon, I pulled the card 5 of pentacles.  This card is all about poverty and what we learn about ourselves when we finally hit rock bottom.  When we are in desperation, we are only kept alive by the most gnawing of needs.  Dive deep, babies, clean your closets once and for all.  These things that are living here, creating weights for your wings, they must be removed before you can live a full life.  I know you're tired.  Trust me, we all are.  We have had unfinished business coming at us since Saturn started his retrograde a few weeks ago, so we should be getting our bearings right now.  You've got this, punks.  You've fought these mini bosses before, and you're still here today.  Now finish them!

Helios Says:  Mercury, Venus, Uranus and Chiron- Now this is more like it. Here, we see the real heart of the issue- You have lost your way, and have no idea where to go from here. You are afraid, and feeling nothing is much easier than facing that fear. You have been hurt, and instead of licking your wounds and stepping back out into the world, you have retreated further inside yourself, hiding from any potential to be hurt again. I tell you that you are wasting your life by allowing this to continue. Fear has you paralyzed, and it is killing you one day at a time. Your despondency has become inertia, and your ennui a crutch- Get off the couch and back into the game! You only have so many moments here, make them count. Schluff off your baggage and step lively.

Artemis Says:  Mercury in Taurus:  For Mercury, I pulled the card Temperance.   I know you're all planning, darlings.  I know, because you are listening.  I know, because I scared you enough.  What's the plan, punks?  Take your time.  Measure it out.  Get a white board and start learning alchemy.  Put the pieces together slowly.  Mercury in Taurus will help you.  Be clear with your communication.  Say things plainly.  People will be easily confused (which may work to your advantage, I don't know your life).  Things set into motion right now will take some time to manifest, but I assure you they will be stronger, more sturdy plans than anything made back in Aries.  Your Aries plans were the beta version.  It's time to solidify the real deal.

Venus in Aries:  For Venus in Aries, I pulled the card Ace of Cups.  Oh I'm so sorry, punks, this is going to be a rough one.  It's a big wave, this ace of cups, a huge huge wave of emotion.  Now we can ride this thing a few ways.  Yes, ride like a bucking ram, because that is what this thing will be!  So a lot of overwhelming emotion is rupturing the enforcement we thought were sturdy enough  It's fine, really.  All those damn skeletons coming out of the closet and all of this stress from attempting so desperately to plan for the future...  I get it, I get it, but really there are two ways to ride this experience; accept things for what they are and use this powerful emotional energy to fuel things that make you feel good, or succumb to it all and drown in your sorrows.  The cup is full.  Will you drink from it, or will you shove your face in it and drown?  Like seriously, don't be dumb.  It's always your choice.  And who drowns in a cup?

Uranus in Aries:  For Uranus in Aries, I pulled the King of Wands.  So, a challenge!  Uranus is not giving up on us.  He is warning us of what's to come and what we need to become in order to fight it.  We need to become an unashamed version of ourselves.  Eris and Uranus conjunct is coming (June 1), and it's going to be an eruption.  Uranus is also pelting our public sphere with more chaos.  What's going to happen with all of this new information coming in?  The political sphere is going to get hotter and hotter still into the summer.

Helios Says:  Mars and Neptune- And here's where that ennui is coming from. You are burying yourself, probably under work or something, distracting yourself from the real problems in your life so that you don't have to deal with them. Well, burying your head in the sand isn't going to change the fact that you are in serious trouble. You are going to need to take action, and you are going to need to do it ASAP. You will need to break free of the stagnancy you find yourself in. You will lose something you once deemed important, and may yet still, but its time has come. Cut it away from you before it drags you down into the depths. You cannot see how much damage it is doing to you, and it would do significantly less if you moved on from it. Quit trying to fix what is broken, before it breaks you too.

Artemis Says: Mars in Sagg Retrograde:  For Mars in Sagg Retrograde, I pulled 9 of Swords.  Ok, so 9 of Swords traditionally means "nightmares."  Which makes sense right now, doesn't it?  All of our energy is being drained by these nightmares.  People's fears are surfacing in the public sphere as well as privately.  There is a quite desperation going on and a lack of energy in general.  We may have had a plan and it is failing us.  That's okay.  We learned what doesn't work.  Time to get back up on that horse.  The nightmares, the unresolved business, is coming right at us.  Don't let being knocked off your horse a few times get to you.  You're still alive, aren't you?  Please don't tell me you are the type who gives up in the middle of a fight...

Neptune in Pisces:  For Neptune in Pisces, I pulled the Queen of Swords.  Well, darlings, at least we will be cutting through some of this illusion bullshit.  The world is going to seem a bit... cold right now.  Don't fret.  Keep your eye on the prize, like an oasis in the distance.  We are going to all cross this desert together.  And no matter how tired we get, we need to continue to be decisive and always choose to cut through the bullshit or it will swallow us whole.  Neptune is getting close to going into Retrograde again (June 13), so the bullshit will get easier and easier to see.  This is good news, punks!

Helios Says:  Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto- As you can see, the Super Saiyan energy has been lessened somewhat, due to Uranus separating from the pack in preparation for his date with Eris. That doesn't mean you should discount its influence, however. Right now, it is serving to isolate and insulate you, putting you in a corner by yourself, so that you can prove what you are capable of. Take advantage of your isolation, get your house in order while no one is looking. This is the time to take the steps that others would discourage you from, but the downfall is that you don't have anyone to turn to for good advice and feedback. Sure, you want to wallow in self-pity and do nothing but binge Netflix, since no one is calling you to go out to the best parties and you see the hoes hooking up and professing their love, but its far better to put the headphones on, go to the gym and get that summer body ready now while you have fewer distractions. One good habit will lead to another, and then change will follow. For the better.  

Artemis Says: Jupiter in Virgo Retrograde:  For Jupiter in Virgo Retrograde, I pulled 7 of Swords.  More bad news, babies.  This card is downright insecurity.  What do people do when they are insecure?  They start hurting themselves and those around them.  You are nitpicking at yourself.  Seriously, stop that shit!  If you look suuuper closely, you will see that your plans are actually starting to take form.  This card tells us that those little things we have been doing - the sneaking around for information or the tip toeing around our enemies - is paying off.  You're going to need to continue to have your wits about you.  It's going to take every ounce of our craftiness to get ahead right now.  We have to use the magnifying glass that is Virgo and find the little details that are going to help our big picture.  You need to believe in yourself and your intuition more than ever now. You're going to need to be clever.


Saturn in Sagg Retrograde:  For Saturn in Sagg Retrograde, I pulled the Hangman.  Saturn is reminding us that he is fucking with time right now.  Ghosts from the past are coming at us.  Reverberations from the future are smacking us in the face.  Our present is showing us how it has effected both the future and the past.  How the hell is this even happening?  Stay still.  Stay centered.  Breathe.  We can do this.  Slay one ghost at a time.

Pluto in Capricorn Retrograde:  For Pluto in in Capricorn Retrograde, I pulled the Ace of Wands.  Pluto is murdering things behind the scenes.  He is like the Freddy of our past right now.  If you so choose to let something go, Pluto will make sure you are transformed.  You have an ally right now.  The Planet of death and rebirth will work behind the scenes and pinpoint exactly what needs to die via your level of desire for the thing.  You're going to KNOW what needs to die, and subconsciously you are taking the steps to kill this thing.  Have you  noticed?  Only the things that matter most can survive right now.  It's time to transform.  It's time to choose to become a higher version of yourself so you can face what's ahead.  What are you going to choose to kill?  What's keeping you from moving forward?

One more thing on Pluto and Jupiter - the combination of the 7 of Swords and Ace of Wands tends to mean that this is the perfect time to get ahead in business.

Ceres in Aries- Kakodyl

Hot - Ashlea Louise - Great British Tattoo Show 2014, London by Darren Johnson/ iDJPhotography, CCL

Effective date of transit: 4/15-7/18/16

“There’s a tendency to mistake preparation for productivity. You can prepare all you want, but if you never roll the dice you’ll never be successful.” ~ Shia LaBeouf

Helios ASTROLOGICAL reading of Ceres in Aries- Look at that woman up there. She is confident as shit, swallowing a flaming stick, in nothing but (very provocative) lingerie, showing herself and her awesome tattoos. God, I think I'm in love... Anyway, this is your role model for Ceres in Aries- Be bloody, bold and resolute! (laugh to scorn the power of man, for none of woman born shall harm MacBeth! [Sorry, can't help myself. Grew up more on a stage than in a house, and always had a special place for the Scottish Play- That line is burned into my memory. Its even a much used tag here! Go on, click it- you know you want to!])

Now, while Ceres was in Pisces, you were beat down pretty hard. Shit got heaped on you over and over again, and now you are buried under it, defeated and reeking to high heaven. You didn't know what to do to get out from under it or how to go about doing it, so you were paralyzed. You gave up, and let it happen. You did what you had to do to get through- You have to forgive yourself for that, stop tormenting yourself over the past; it is set in stone and done (well, not from a non-linear quantum/multiverse perspective, but still)- you have the present to worry about.

This transit is a major shift in the energy. This is what you need. This is where you start to stand up, shake off the merde, and get the fuck out of the quagmire you have become stuck in. This is action, this is unapologetic candor and unleashing the awesome that you have held back. If you wait to do so you will suffocate and die under your own guilt and regret. Do not allow that to happen- and make no mistake, indolence now is equivalent to suicide. Do not resist the flow by staying stuck where you are- Get out NOW, consequences be damned. Get to where you need to be to succeed. If you can't make it happen right this second, start planning ASAP. No one is coming to do it for you. No one else gives a shit. Go do it yourself or it WILL NOT GET DONE.

Let me regale you with a story that is not that well known about Ceres/Demeter. Now, if you have the faintest idea who she is, you probably know her from her supporting role in the Original Lifetime Movie that is the Persephone saga, but what if I told you that she had her own adventures while she was wandering the earth, looking for her lost daughter? WELL SHE DID. The one in particular I want to discuss is the Demophon story, aka the Elusian Mystery Cult.

Abridged version- Persephone flees is abducted from her extremely overprotective Mother who abandoned her in a random field. Persephone is taken to the underworld, to be Hades' bride, but no one but Helios and Hecate seem to know what happened and they refuse to speak because Zeus arranged this and swore them to silence. Ceres rants to Zeus, and refuses to allow the crops to grow, and all life on earth is threatened while she goes wandering the earth to find Persephone. In her wanderings, just as she is about to give up, she takes a break at Elusis, where she meets the queen, who just so happens to need a nursemaid for her son, Demophon. Demophon is sick, and Ceres takes care of him while his parents run the country or whatever. Now, they are kind of nice to her, so she decides to repay them by making Demophon immortal, because that's just something she can sort of do I guess... She takes him off of people food and feeds him solely Nectar and Ambrosia, the food and drink of the gods, which gives them their strength and immortality [partially]. The other part of the immortality process is a bit trickier though...  She plunges the poor kid into a blazing fire nightly, burning away his mortality. One night, as she was almost done with the process, the queen barges in, and understandably flips her shit, sending Ceres into one of her now-famous tirades. Meanwhile, Demophon gets left in the fire too long, and he burns to death, which of course Ceres blames on the queen for being a shitty parent. Right around this time Helios and Zeus decide its a good idea for a reunion between mother and daughter, and send Mercury off to facilitate it, leading to more wacky underworld hi-jinks and shenanigans, but before she leaves she teaches agriculture to a random kid, saving Greece and humanity from dying out the next time an insane, grief stricken mother goddess ravages the earth out of pettiness.

Even though he dies at the end, Demophon finds life as a central figure in the Elusian Mystery cult, a religion focused on life, death, rebirth ad the underworld. They believed this story (along with other secrets they held) could provide clues as to the method Ceres used to make Demophon immortal, so that they could do it themselves.

Ceres can burn away the impurities in you and raise you up higher than you ever dreamed. All you have to do is let her.

Artemis' TAROT reading of Ceres in Aries

“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.”  ― Benjamin Franklin


Ceres is the mother.  According to myth, her mourning of Proserpina's return to the underworld is what brings us the cycle of the seasons; and therefore she is also the ruler of the great cycles in our life.  When floating through the arena of Aries, she becomes a fierce mother who teaches through action and fosters independence.  

Ceres in Aries is my personal natal position for the great mother, so her dark mama approach is very familiar to me.  She doesn’t take shit, she will push you into the deep end of the pool so you have no choice but to learn how to swim, and she will test you at every turn.  This is how a Ceres in Aries person teaches and this is how they learn.  Ceres in Aries will make sure that we are ready for this next step in our journey, and she will be our partner in crime along the way.  People ruled by this energy to not sit well with being told how to do just about anything.  They are happy to take suggestions and advice, but in the end you must KNOW that it is their choice what they do with their life.  And they want the same for you.

What does that mean for us?  Well, it means that a time is coming where we are going to start standing up for the things we want - no matter what other people might think of them.  That's a pretty amazing energy.  

For this ingress, I pulled The Sun crossed by The Hangman.  The rune that will clarify the energy is Hagalaz (hailstorm).  It’s time to grow up.  It’s time to regain our independence and our ability to drive our own fucking life.  We are familiar with all of the things we need to tackle and all of the things we need to get rid of in order to start our new life.  At our center, we know what we need to do, and we're finally ready to do it.  Something is urgently whispering, "There is no time like right now!"  You will finally have the drive to start taking action and pushing yourself, and those you care for, into more expressed versions of yourselves. 

The way toward thriving is to get up and take what you need.  Inaction and suspended ego are not going to work for you right now.  The Hangman is water, he is stillness, he is quietly peering into the next dimension.  He is willingness to let go of the ego, and he is not boding well for our ego infused happy sun energy that is trying to shine out.  Sometimes we need the ego.  Sometimes we really need it to puff us up and give us power to actually manifest shit in our lives.  Put yourself out there!

Because Ceres is entering Aries, I get a feeling that we are all being re-born as a new version of ourselves.  We are infants in this new stage, feeling out how to use our brand new powers.  The best way?  Ceres in Aries says just DO.  Play.  Act.  Take initiative and dive in.  It doesn't matter if you have a plan or not - do something.  It's the only way to learn how you need to proceed from here.

Compete playfully with your friends (this will be a great way to recharge during this period).  Look at the things in your life with child-like eyes.  This sense of independence and curiosity is exactly what we will need in order to keep afloat with the wacky energies coming our way the next few months.  Don’t fear.  Ceres in Aries doesn’t have time for fear in the midst of doing.  We WILL do this, and we will do this together.  The real question is...  Can you keep up?

TAROT READING:  The Sun CROSSED BY The Hangman

RUNE:  Hagalaz 

Uranus Conjunct Eris- War Drums

Kurdish YPG Fighter by Kurdishstruggle, CCL

Effective date of transit: June 1 2016- May 16 2018

Helios' ASTROLOGICAL reading of Uranus Conjunct Eris:  Here we are- The transit that keeps me up at night, and the one that I have been stressing about since basically I started writing, and have been warning you was coming for the last couple years: Uranus conjunct the dwarf planet Eris.

So why should you care? What is so special about this one single transit? Well, to answer that let’s look at the planets involved- First up, Uranus. Uranus was a storm god, actually scratch that- Uranus was one of the first forces of nature, of creation itself. He is chaotic, primal, and more force than god. He was the sky, the storm, aether, what have you. When he coupled with Gaia, the literal earth itself, it gave birth to the Giants, the Hekatonkheires and the Titans, all of whom, on their own, outclassed all the gods we know and love by far. However, it took five of the Titans, an unstoppable blade, and the literal earth herself to take him down a peg, as he could not be actually killed or stopped. He is cold, uncaring, and revels in chaos just for novelty.

Even so, he doesn’t love chaos as much as the next factor, Eris. She is the goddess of strife, chaos and bloodshed. She was a war goddess and one of the besties of Ares. A quote about her, from Homer- “Strife whose wrath is relentless, she is the sister and companion of murderous Ares, she who is only a little thing at the first, but thereafter grows until she strides on the earth with her head striking heaven. She then hurled down bitterness equally between both sides as she walked through the onslaught making men's pain heavier.” Most recently, she caused some strife and chaos when she was discovered in the cosmos, causing Pluto to be demoted to minor planet status and a redefinition of the concept of what a planet was. Remember the backlash and public outcry that caused, and how those wounds are STILL fresh for most people, all of whom have an opinion on the matter.

Now, these two are conjoining in the sign of Aries, AKA the least chill sign there ever was. War, passion, strife and chaos all combine in this sign on its own, and with these two heavy hitters, it’s a recipe for disaster. And let me remind you that we, (at least in America) are engaged in a bitter, ugly election battle and it seems no one will win, least of all the people- Not to mention that we are engaged in at least 5 wars at last count, and we are not exactly recovered from our economic crisis. Moreso, these events affect the rest of the world, and vice versa- Take for instance the low gas prices: Those are considered a boon in America, and a sign of our recovery, but these prices are DESTROYING whole countries and economies. In oil-rich countries built on the profits of expensive oil (and steeped in corruption) these prices have completely destabilized the economy, bringing them a hairs breadth from anarchy- black markets rule, and the national currency is worthless, and people are not getting what they need. Everything affects everything else now. That could easily happen here- and that could very well be the best case scenario.

You see, even with the best version of this transit imaginable, I see no way to avoid going through a LOT of upheaval and transformation- At worst? God, the worst case is pure nightmare fuel. I could easily see this becoming a civil war that spills out into the rest of the world at large, stopping global exports of food, relief, and what have you, descending multiple countries even further into chaos, and that’s only the ones that we don’t drag into the war with us- The lucky ones. You think im exaggerating? The last time this transit happened was in 1932, a year that set the stage for WWII. In 1848, there were major riots and political revolutions, old states dissolving and new ones rising from their ashes. 1764, more war. I could go back further but a trend emerges. War, taxes, riots… no matter what, the people suffer- They are downtrodden and taken advantage of.

Also to beware of is the fact that this will essentially be a resurgence of the Cardinal Crisis. Jupiter will be moving to Libra later this year, and will be opposing these two. With this in mind, it is taking place within orb of Pluto in Capricorn, if widely. So there will be a new version of the T-Square, with several times where Cancer is activated, rounding out the Grand Cross. So everything from 2008-14, with all of its chaos and upheaval, will be back in play in a brand new way. In fact, you could say that period was the warmup act for this one.

I don’t have motivation or a positive spin for this one, or how to best work it, guys. I can only warn you that its coming at the moment. More as it unfolds.     


Artemis' TAROT reading of Uranus Conjunct Eris:
“In chaos, there is fertility.” ― Anaïs Nin


So the very slow moving asteroid Eris (formerly known as Persephone - consort of Pluto) is going conjunct with our familiar giant planet of Chaos, Uranus.  And I pulled a fuck ton of fucking crazy cards.  Happy April Fucking Fools!  

Eris is laughing at us already.    She throws a golden apple into the center of our cosmic party.  "For the most beautiful one!  Kallisti!"  Are you the one worthy of picking it up?  Could you?  Should you? Probably not, because Eris is the goddess of motherfucking DISCORD and CHAOS.  Lower your egos down a notch, everyone.  She's going to sucker punch us all one by one, and we need to stick together here.  Shit is going to get rough for everyone, but seriously - we all need to stick together.  Eris has no mercy.  She will show you what you need to see, and she will show you violently.    

WHO THE FUCK INVITED THIS BITCH TO THE PARTY?  

Get out something to chew on or find a spot you can pace in, because this one is going to be rough.   

In all seriousness, this is a very serious post.  "Why so serious, Artemis?" Because the last time this conjunct happened, the Nazi party sprouted, FDR became president, and the initial rattlings of WWII started to become visible.  I know you can all feel it.  Don't bullshit me.  Don't bullshit yourself.  You can see it in the eyes of everyone around you.  We all know something big is on the horizon, and we can all smell the blood in the air.  We don't know exactly what it is... but our spidey senses are alarming the fuck out.

Birds can feel a storm before it comes and flock together (and they fly the fuck away).  Sensing danger is instinctual.  We don't even know we are doing it, but our subconscious mind picks up on the clues around us.  We can all sense when we are being lied to and culled.  We are being penned up, and they are about to take us to slaughter.  The thing is, animals know when they are about to get slaughtered.  And they start going MAD. 

Our political climate is set for it.  It is almost impeccable.  Whatever way we decided to tip, we have already set up the dominoes.  All Eris is doing is snickering and toppling them over.  She is the initial spark; the CHAOS needed to get motion going.    

So what is Uranus doing in this reading?  He is saying, fuck this shit, stuff is going to start changing around here!  Like flashes of lightening, we wont see it coming and it might be a little disturbing at first.  The outer planets like to deal in the macro.  They talk in politics and mass human behavior.  Uranus likes to talk about revolution and innovation.  It looks like some massive inventions might be on the horizon this year.  Bold new plans.  Bold new uptakes.  Bold New World.  Will it be for the better?  I don't know.  Was the invention of the nuclear bomb for the betterment of humanity?  Was the invention of cars for the betterment of humanity?  No thing in itself is purely good or evil.  Is it good for YOUR worldview?  Whatever the innovations will be, they will be an evolutionary step for humanity.  

Around and around we go.  You see, our sun (Sol) is rocketing through space at about 70,000 km an hour.  This means that the planets are trailing after it in a spiral fashion, creating a literal helix.  Sometimes the planets coast out ahead of the sun, sometimes they trail behind.  The sun isn't just sitting there as planets rotate around it in a static fashion.  Oh no.  We are fucking throttling through space right now at high speeds.  The world is in constant movement, spiraling outward, each rotation the same yet different.  We have reached another solar rotation of Uranus since 1932, my friends, and now he and Eris will be effecting similar yet different revolutionary change.  Notice the patterns.  As above, so below.  

It is time to seize opportunity.  Shit is fucked up.  It seriously is.  All around the world, shit is fucked up.  We see it clear as day, so why do we look away?  This energy is going to make a lot of us snap back to reality.  Things are happening HERE, where you LIVE.  Do you see the massive election going on?  It is one of the craziest we have had in decades.  Everything hangs by a thread.  America is a failing Empire, and the route we choose to take is extremely important right now.  Rise to the occasion.  This is our last chance.  We have the Ace of Wands next, indicating that a surge of power and heat will descend upon us.  People are going to get riled up.  It is inevitable.  How they decide to harness this surge of energy will be up to them.  Will we use it to destroy our enemies, or will we use it to destroy each other?  We end with the two of wands for Uranus, warning us against arrogance.  This combination props up revolutionaries who are working through truly Aquarian values; humanitarianism and group evolution.  We are BOLD right now - especially in the sign of Aries.  We want our voices to be fucking heard already!  Can you hear it?  All over the world, the people are roaring.  

 Chaos is, at first, seen as a shiney novelty.  We have our new thing, like the smart phone, and it is glorious.  This is like the butterfly effect.  The novelty gains popularity.  More and more people want it.  More and more Chaos ensues.  We source slave labor to make their parts.  We suck whole generations into a small screen so that we can program them easier.  Don't you see?  Chaos, at first, is a tempting seductress.  She eases our worry and shows us something innovative and great.  What we don't realize is that if we don't steer her OUR direction, that she will show us the folly of our ways.  She will show us just how we can abuse our power.  This is Eris' lesson.  

The cards I pulled for Eris are kinda ominous.  Why wouldn't they be?  It's fucking Eris, the goddess of Discord.  The information we are being fed is trying to stack things against us.  It is making us feel weak and stupid.  Be warned, Eris is going to take all of this down.  The wool is going to be pulled from our eyes, but it's not going to be very pleasant.  But hey, at least we will finally be getting some fucking truth, right?  The Tower card is indicating that there is mass corruption that is about to go down.  What is the most obvious metaphor for The Tower card?  Probably 9/11.  No one knew those towers were going to come down (well, I could argue conspiracy, but I've already rambled long enough).  It was seemingly out of nowhere, and it completely changed the culture of the United States.  Seemingly out of nowhere, something may occur that will rattle our very foundations as a country.  What could the unexpected be?  

I guess I really can't tell you, can I?  

The next two cards I pulled for Eris are the King of Wands and The Emperor.  The King of Wands is the King who cannot sit on his throne.  He is an action oriented king, and he is an innovator.  In my Hexen 2.0 Tarot deck, he is represented by Nicola Tesla.  The King of Wands is obsessed.  A new zeal will move about the political atmosphere; a fever of some kind.  This could be good, and this could be bad.  Really, people, it's all about your intent.  Bend the energy to your will.  The final card is The Emperor.  He is Mars, and he is industry and war.  This card in this position warns us that every little thing that we do now has larger repercussions in the future.  We are walking on a tight rope and we need to sway in just the right ways.  Do you really know what being in charge of your own destiny feels like?  The reigns are about to switch, and if we, as the people, cannot take them, then someone else will.  Who will rule?  Will the chaos that ensues put someone diabolical in that oval office, or will we be so fired up by this energy that we will storm the capital and take back what is ours?

Perhaps.  


Helios and I will continue reporting this conjunct as things move along.  Let's see how the patterns unfold, shall we?

Tarot Reading:

Uranus:  2 of Wands, Ace of Wands, 3 of Wands
Eris:  The Tower, The King of Wands, The Emperor 

Venus in Aries- Cadence

Bella Jovan by Jackie Baisa, CCL

Helios' ASTROLOGICAL reading of Venus in Aries (4/6-5/1/16)
"If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?" -Rupaul

Okay, so I love this transit. Shocking, I know, as Venus and I NEVER get along. Luckily, this is my natal placement so this is the one time we can stop fighting and work together, like a hero-villan teamup. The peace is usually more or less kept until Cancer, and then its back at each others throats... But thats another day. This is Aries!!!

Now, the key to this transit is in that quote. Now I live for all things Rupaul, and I have heard that particular quote more times than I can count, but it was always one that I have just brushed off, it's just her send-off every episode (if you dont know Rupaul, or any of her wildly successful shows, please stop what you are doing and go binge on them IMMEDIATELY). The thing is though, the more you think about it, the more profound it is. If you cant love yourself, how can you love anyone else? I mean you can pretend, sure. But can you REALLY feel love for anyone else if you don't show it and give it to yourself, first and foremost? How is that fair to you? Are you not deserving of your own love?

At that last question you should have had a knee-jerk reaction, a small voice in the back of your head involuntarily whispering "no". I want you to chase down the source of that insecurity, really sit with and be present with it- figure out why it is that you have conditioned yourself to think so little of yourself, treating yourself so badly. When you realize what it is, it will probably be a surface-level bad thing you did, or habit/addiction you have, whatever- Dig deeper and you will find that that pattern or action has come about BECAUSE of your lack of self-love. Once you dig deeper than that and expose the real fear at the core, the magic will happen.

I am hardly one to lecture on this. I will be the first to admit that I LOATHE myself, I can't stand my own company at all. I am harder on myself than I will ever need to be, and harder than anyone else ever could be. I am so cruel to myself that it could be seen as a breach of my constitutional rights under the 8th Amendment. I am not good at what this transit is challenging us to do. Still, we MUST do this and we have to get it right. We will do it together, and lordt knows its going to be a rough ride. Luckily, I can call in a favor on this one. My good friend Asmoday has prepared a great lesson and exercise on how to overcome this, and I can personally attribute to its effectiveness.

We can do this. We can do better. We can stop being frauds and finally reach our true potential, not being hindered by ourselves. We can overcome our saboteur.

Can I get an Amen?


Artemis TAROT reading of Venus in Aries

Cards:  3 of Cups and Ace of Wands

“One bowman must hunt Sekhmet-Hathor… as she shifts, one phase Destroyer of Humankind, the next, Goddess of Love…” – On the Scarlet Lady, Unknown

No human can stand in a fire and not be consumed.  But we have no choice, do we?  Venus is entering Aries, and she becomes like Helen of Troy in this cosmic coupling.  We will be COMPELLED as if by some magnetic force toward the things we desire.  We will find excitement here, and a new sense of daring.  Dare to take that leap into love that Aries do so well (though ever fleeting, god damn commitment-phobe rams).  There is a lot of impulsive fire coming from this tarot reading, so I’m sure there will be a tremendous amount of impulsive romantic and sexual activity kicking in.  The Tarot cards I drew to describe the energy that is coming from this configuration are the 3 of Cups and Ace of Wands; both very spontaneous energies. 

I’m really relieved, guys.  We really needed this kind of energy to carry us through the next few weeks.  This transit actually looks really, really good.  I know Helios is just as excited for this Venus in Aries as I am.  We both kinda have an Aries fetish.  Not gunna lie. 

I can already hear the egos of every single Aries inflating as they read that.

People who are born with Venus in Aries in their natal charts are very courageous lovers.  They will immediately pursue an object of their desire and usually succeed in getting what they want.  Why?  Because who the hell doesn't love to feel desired?  Aries energy is lifeblood.  We crave it.  We get drunk off of it and end up doing stupid shit.  But, you know what?  It's FINE.  “Why is it fine, Artemis?”  WELL, because looking at the card reading, it looks like that very 3 of Cups fun loving, drunkenness is what is going to lead to the creative fire that is the Ace of Wands.  The 3 of Cups is traditionally depicted as 3 women having a blast dancing together (probably getting smashed off of wine).  It’s letting go.  It’s allowing a situation to turn into a fun time. 

We are all fucking stressed and broken down from what we see looming ahead of us and all of the corpses of our enemies behind us.  Let Aries do us this one solid and ride the chill the fuck out Venus train.  3 of Cups represents play and carefree socializing.  We have to learn to let go and trust and succumb to Venusean love energy right now. 

Am I asking you to play with fire?  Yes. 

Don’t hesitate.  An Aries never hesitates.  The cards are saying, “If you do this (if you emanate the 3 of cups), you will be rewarded with the Ace of Wands.”  What is the ace of wands? Well, punks, it is the symbol for pure sex and creativity.  It is the divine spark.  It is the first whisperings of a muse in your ear.  It is the smirk on an artist’s face as they suddenly realize exactly what they need to do.  It is inspiration in its purest and most malleable form.

Where is the seat of all creativity?  The Hindu Chakra system would say the Sacral Chakra.  Yes, that would be your sex chakra (also associated with self-worth).  The tarot would say the suit of Wands, which is also associated with sexuality.  The desires that Venus brings to us alchemically transform us.  No human can stand in a fire and not be consumed.  It’s time to take the Aries leap of faith and rise from the ashes. 

In short: Pursue the things you love with zeal, no hesitation, and do it genuinely.  Flowing, not fighting against them, is best right now because the things that you desire will be harder to resist anyway.  Probably for good reason.  It’s fine.  If you give in, the cards say you will get a nice, inspirational reward.  Probably a muse.

Cross your fingers for a muse. 

Please allow yourself to receive the word of our Lady of Beauty and Love!  I promise you the communion is far more fun than that of most of the other stiff collared gods.  

New Moon in Aries- Hostile Takeover

:) by Mark Lewin, CCL

Effective Date  for Aries New Moon:  4-7-16

Helios: Hope you enjoyed your break guys, because this one is going to be LIVE. No rest for the wicked this time, and man these are some wicked skies. Its like being shaken out of our stupor in the morning, 3 hours early, with an air horn. Nothing about this is kind. Nothing about it is easy. To get through this, you will need grit, you will need passion and determination- You will need to soldier up. You will also need to be just a little insane! Or maybe more than a little, it all depends.

Diving right in...

Artemis: "Coincidence doesn't exist and goosebumps never lie.  Your body already knows the answer.  All you have to do is turn down your spinning mind, and continue to follow all the signs.  Because you are always worthy of becoming your best and most actualized self."   - Victoria Erickson

Fuck, I hope you're all ready.  We're kinda out in the wilderness now  (astrologically speaking).  We've entered the rabbit hole.   This is the world of "when you thought you had one drink, you've really had two."  I don't know about you,  but the howling from that last full moon still has me a bit rattled.  Anyone else feel that crushing sensation?  Well.  Guess what?  It was needed.  That was the exact energy we were begging for to burst out of our suffocating hibernation.  Well, at least those of us with some backbone were asking for it!  For those of you who chose to follow your highest ideals, SALUD!  Congratulations!  Good fucking morning!  You've woken up into a new dawn.  2 Weeks after the Full Moon Eclipse in Libra, the moon wanes into darkness.  It's dark goddess time, and it's new moon Aries time.  That combination alone brings to mind a blazing, rumbling Volcano, exhaling the skeleton for new worlds over the ocean waters.  It's time to lay the foundation of our attitude for the next Zodiac cycle.  Are you going to do this?  Or are you going to lay back into the Piscean waters of 2015 cycle and get lost at sea until you wake up 5 years from now and realize you did nothing with your life again?  Sorry, gotta tell it like it is.  Don't shoot the messenger.  So.  Aries is the sign of the pioneer, and you wont be able to get into this new cycle of things if you aren't willing to explore and do a bit of battle.  Although the planets may be bombarding us right now, these tarot cards are definitely rooting for you guys.

Helios: Sun, Moon, Saturn, Uranus, Pluto- Yep. Its another Super Sayian lunation. Your feeling right now is that you are beset from enemies on all sides. To a point, you are right- but you are not seeing that your attitudes and perception is what is causing those people to oppose you, says Rhiphonos. You believe that you are in the right, that your way is the only way, and by design that alienates those around you who have other ideas and their own perceptions. Niobe confirms this, telling you that this is coming from a place of deep insecurity and self-loathing- those baboons with the smallest testicles yell the loudest. You are throwing your weight around, trying to assert your strength- but Sila-Nunam warns that you would be better served to stop, try and force yourself to let your insecurities about the situation go, and stay open to the ideas and input of those around you. It will save you from walking a lonely road in the future. If you do find yourself in a conflict, Icarus and Astraea beg you to get out of it, rather than engage those that you falsely see as an enemy. If you don't, or must engage, Phaethon warns that you will crash and burn, and you more likely than not will lose that person as a friend or ally for good. Battle lines are being drawn and there will be friends and family on opposite sides of everything right now. All is not lost though- after the conflagration, Deucalion will be there to help you rebuild, though it will take work, and you will need to prioritize what is important to you. No time for fun, get your work done. Interestingly though, even with all the sturm un drang, this is a time of beginnings, not one of endings according to Klotho. And the future, while terrifying, is nonetheless bright, and in that we have allies of Iris telling us that these stormy skies WILL clear, and Varda, who leaves us with this: Everyone is looking for the light, looking for a hero. Why not let it be you? Fill the void for others. Try being a paragon for once, instead of just a renegade.

Artemis: Moon-  For Luna herself, I pulled the Page of Swords.  Unsure little Page of Swords.  She's quite adorable.  And she's lost in the woods, just like fucking us.  I mean, we prepared.  We prepared a lot.  We were bombarded with some weird shit the past couple of months (make that year), and we really, really thought we were ready.  Well, we're in the game now, so we better start to learn how to play.  The Page of Swords represents an individual who has the knowledge necessary to complete the task at hand but lacks the confidence.  Eternally in a cautious stance, the figure in this card is intellectually mulling over their infinite options of action.  This card always reminds me of an uber nerdy kid feeling out of her element at a party.  She could crush the brains of everyone there, but lacks the confidence in herself to do so with any sort of flair.  Fortunately for us, we have a secret weapon.  It's Aries' personal mantra.  "Why the fuck not?"  We have all of this Aries energy.  What are we to do with it?  We are to wage war and slaughter the hordes of  enemies descending upon us.  You think I'm joking?  We need to reign in this Aries energy and use it to our advantage.  Don't let the ram roundhouse kick you off of the cliff.  Aries energy is not something that most can handle.  It is unpredictable.  It's powerful.  It's wild.  It's sexy.  It's completely and utterly bone headed.  In order to tame a wild beast, one must remain calm and poised.  We can take this lesson from the Page of Swords - calculation.  From here, we must move.  Don't forget to move.  Don't forget to act.  Don't get sucked back into the illusion.  You've got what it takes and intuitively understand what you must do.  Don't let anybody fucking intimidate you.

Sun-  For the Sun, I pulled 6 of Cups.  Lost things returned.  I saw two things when I looked at this card.  First, it is suggesting that in order for us to harness this Aries Sun energy, we must remember how to smell the flowers again.  When you're a kid (or when you're on psychedelics), you see the world through hungry eyes.  Try and look at your mundane world in this way, and the magic will begin to pop.  Are you sick of your routine?  There is a lesson in everything; even drudgery.  Why do you think the karate kid had to wax cars and Luke had to lug Yoda through swampland?  Find the magical flow, stop to enjoy things that can bring you some worldly pleasure, and something precious and lost may return to you.  The inspiration you seek will come to you from the dreamy, pleasure seeking behaviors you take.  Flirt with the world.  Seriously, give it a try.  It flirts back.  So, what was my second intuition about this card?  The past, the past, the past.  Are you slaying those dragons?  Are you telling your past to fuck off?  It's time.  Make like Lot and don't look behind you unless you want to see things you love turn into salt pillars.  Look back only with sweet nostalgia.  Forget the bitter.  Save that bite for what's coming and let dead things lie in their graves.

Saturn-  For Papa Saturn, I pulled Knight of Pentacles.  This is reminiscent of the Saturn Retrograde reading I did recently.  Daddy of Karma is telling us to get our shit together.  He is giving us this opportunity to rearrange and change course.  Use it wisely.  Especially pay attention to the things that you see every single day.  There may be re-ordering required that you hadn't noticed before.  This is a time for foundation laying.  Make sure the skeleton is sturdy, because we are building to the heavens.

Uranus-  For Uranus, I pulled the 5 of Swords.  Where the inner planets are all lovey dovey cups, the outer planets seem to be daggers and serious shit.  This could indicate that although we are connecting to each other at very deep levels on the micro, the macro is going haywire.  Uranus tells us that there is some negative energy brewing on the planet.  We feel disconnected from the world at large.  The powers that be have taken a selfish approach to our lives, and it looks like the growling coming from Uranus is his indication that karma is rolling back around.  Chaos is coming to break those of us who have taken selfish actions against those who selflessly trusted us.  Rebellion is on the horizon in the macro.  Perhaps we will soon start getting our fair share?    

Pluto-  For Pluto, I pulled the Knight of Cups.  Bloody idealism.  Pluto is giving the macro an idealistic fervor.  Unfortunately, this applies to all ideologies.  Plutonian transformation in your personal life?  It seems that once you drink from the Knight's cup, your eyes will be opened to bliss.  He tells us to let go of our mental restrictions and walk in the world of pure intuition.  Interact with people in your life at a gut level (and hold on tight, because the transformations that will happen because of this will be immense).  Pluto is going to force us to live up to our ideals or suffer.  I don't know about you, but I'm done suffering.

Helios: Mercury, Venus- Okay, so this is a throwback energy. No, I don't care that Mercury is in Aries and looking forward- At the end of the day he is still going to go Retrograde shortly. For this, you will need to do some regression. You have grown as a person, that is undeniable. To get through this, you will need to salvage parts of you that you had killed and buried. There is a certain savagery that is needed, and you once had it, but have moved past it. It is waiting for you to reclaim it, and now you must for what lies ahead. Crantor and Makemake show that your very survival is at stake here. You fear what you once were, and you fear being a slave to it, but there is gold in the cave you enter- Not to say that you don't fear for good reason- You have to choose between your progress and your future- Not everyone is up to making that choice. It is tough, it is not fair, and it will not be decided by avoiding responsibility in making that decision. Even if you have no good choices, you still have to choose. I could give you platitudes about how you will be able to stuff your monster back in its cage, but I can't make that promise. Each of us have a different fight to win, and not all of us will. At least not right away. Quaoar and Huya tell us that all is not lost because of this compromise- in fact it could very well be the key to your future success! You have had time away from your dark side and it has been great for you- Your darkness may have grown as well, for good or ill. Either way, the way forward is to reintegrate and USE it. Even though when you cut it away, it no longer served you, that doesn't change the fact that it is still YOURS. It it YOU. Bring it in from the cold.

Artemis: Mercury-  For Mercury, I pulled 3 of Cups.  This card represents good times with friends, drinking and merriment, time with your tribe, and spontaneous pleasurable happenstance.  Those that speak your language will be very important right now.  Who can you speak from the heart with?  Stick to those people.  They will lay the foundation for ideas to start blossoming.  If you need to get unstuck, talk to those who bring about this joyous, inspirational, and freeing energy into your life.  Healing will come from our "tribe."  Find each other.  We need each other.  Especially right now.


Venus-  Well, for Venus I pulled the 2 of Cups.  I dunno.  It's spring.  Our blood is pumping again.  Beltane (May Day) is a month away, and this isn't the season to sit and stay.  Run around and play.  Fall in love with something.  Someone.  I don't know.  This card has a lion on it and two lovers sharing a cup.  It takes great strength to be vulnerable with someone else; especially at the level this card is speaking of.  The lovers are sharing their lifeblood; letting each other drink of their personal truths.  Affection and openness can save you now.  Find those that you can meld mind and heart with, and allow the truth to flow and become the foundation of this year's values.  Venus is, after all, the planet that rules over personal values.  You may come to some powerful realizations about the importance of certain people in your life, or experience the emergence of some electrifying personas.  Gravitate toward these people!  If you don't have anything like this in your life, say GOODBYE ASSHOLES to the imitation pieces in your life.  Seriously, what's the friggin point of existing in that mundane hell?  You will understand when you ditch the basic and upgrade to those who speak your language.  For those of you who already have met your tribe, cheers!  You will truly feel the benefits of those relationships right now.      

Helios: Mars, Neptune- Water + Fire = Steam. Harness it and move forward, or do nothing and be boiled alive. Tempers and Passions are already at a boiling point and ready to spill over. You must not be the one to stir the pot and allow this to happen- Especially not with Eros in the mix. Isis shows us that if you are, you will be the one who has to pick up the pieces of what it once was, and it will never be the same. Luckily, Asbolus and Kassandra help you see flashpoints from a long way off, even if no one else does or will listen to you. Altjira echoes the prior warnings, avoid rather than engage, even if it means looking as though you are weak or indolent. Better that than getting bogged down in an unnecessary conflict. Of course, this time to escape you may need to go under, rather than above, with the underworld goddesses Eurydike and Persephone in play- You don't know all the facts in these situations. Vital information is being consciously withheld from you, and the only way to go forward is blindly, as best as you can. Make sure that you cultivate an air of confidence and assure everyone else that you are in charge, as Juno will not let the peons forget who is actually queen around these parts. Work with her and not against her.

Artemis: Mars-  For Mars, I pulled the Lovers.  Well, sounds like everyone is gunna get laid?  Mars and The Lovers together obviously implies a lot of sexual energy.  Coupled with the rest of the inner planets (3 of Cups for Mercury, 2 of Cups for Venus), it seems we are brimming with emotional drunkenness.  Oh god.  Careful out there.  Hmm...  Perhaps this is indicating that the push we need to succeed and to jump into our calling will come from those we share intimate connections with?  There needs to be a melding of mind and body right now.  Mars is the god of war or whatever, but right now he seems to be a bit subdued (perhaps due to his retrograde coming at us on April 17).  TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS!  War god is only sweet when he has physical indulgences.  We had some abrupt changes in partnerships in our lives lately.  There were a lot of painful hits to our friendships and relationships, but now is the time to meld again.  There is opportunity to form some incredible partnerships if we jump at opportunity like a Saggo.  If you have been sitting on your feelings, now is the time to make a move on it.

Neptune-  For Neptune, I pulled the Magician.  Here we go, guys.  Nothing is as it seems, so we might as well take advantage of this.  The veil is thin right now, so work your magic.  Put your intentions into everything you do.  Push your emotions through your eyes, your words, and your touch.  A magician understands their environment and how to manipulate it to their advantage.  This may be a great time for dream magic and divination, art and seduction.  This may also be a good time to severe addictions, as you may come into power over your illusions.

Helios: Jupiter- Again, Papa Jupiter is off by his own. Probably for the best- If you are watching the US elections, Trump is the perfect example of Jupiter gone horribly, horribly wrong, with no checks or restraints. Luckily, that's not the case at the moment. Jupiter is perfectly poised to help us create our wildest dreams of what could be, and bring them into reality. The scary part is when that power is actually used- For many people, what Trump is espousing is paradise, to continue the analogy. One man's heaven is another man's Hell. Therefore, Vesta and Cyllarus say you must use this to carve out a slice of heaven for yourself, and no one else, in line with your ideals and no one else's. You must be a bit cold and calculating with this, and wait for the right moment to make this a reality, according to Thereus. Yes, overall the time is ripe to do so, and now is the time to act, but your situation will provide an opportune moment that is impossible for me to narrow down in a general scope like this- Call me for a consult instead. Siwa confirms this, reminding us that everything has a moment, a season- working with the cycle produces success, going against it causes only heartache and struggle. Be smart about this- Do for you before you try to do for anyone else, this gives you a much better platform for maximum affect in both your life and anyone you try to assist.

Artemis: Jupiter-  For Jupiter, I pulled the 6 of Swords.  What losses are you grieving?  It is time to let go and get to the other shore.  Heal.  Move on.  Jupiter asks us to expand away from this grief and come into joy.  There is a karma coming to haunt us from the past (thanks Saturn retrograde), but please don't let it sink your ferry.  Ghosts are eternally hungry, and we don't have enough food on this boat to feed them and us while also managing to get to the other side alive.  There is only room on this boat for the living.  We are in a transition period.  Things are going to be hostile and your enemies are going to try and overtake you.  You need to destroy their thunder by not giving a fuck.  Seriously, you will find your power when you realize you can walk away at any time.  Don't let melancholy overtake you when you have so much beauty around you if you just step outside to see it.

Cards:
Moon:  Page of Swords
Sun:  6 of Cups
Mercury:  3 of Cups
Venus:  2 of Cups
Mars:  The Lovers
Jupiter:  6 of Swords
Saturn:  Knight of Pentacles
Uranus:  5 of Swords
Neptune:  Magician
Pluto:  Knight of Cups

Saturn Retrograde- A Brief Candle

'Turn Around', Morocco, Merzouga, Ergg Chebbi Sand Dunes by Chris Ford, CCL

Helios:

Finally, we are actually, properly in Aries! Everyone, one time, with me now... "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS".  God I couldn't take one more minute of Pisces. Time to fix our gaze on what's ahead of us. This time though, that just so happens to be... a retrograde.

And not just any retrograde mind you- It's big daddy Saturn, and he is just the first. Let me tell you why that's awesome.

See normally Saturn rules things like ambition, success, the long hard road, work, achievement and pressure. He also is the one to place blockages and challenges in your path. He rules the future, forever out of reach. He is already weakened somewhat from being in Sagittarius, the sign of his son and rival, Jupiter. His challenges set are mental in this sign- Here you are your own worst enemy, you lose all confidence in yourself and your joie de vivre. It is an internal struggle, which comes as you are pushed to take on greater and greater external 

Now when a planet retrogrades, their influence is inverted, or internalized. With everything else that Saturn is currently putting on us, this can be interpreted as a time when we are not forced to trudge through the merde of the present in a hope of a better, far-off future. No, now it is the time to breathe the present in deep and fully live in this moment. It is like the clouds lifting and rolling back, allowing you the space you so desperately need. And it fits just so well with Aries, it couldn't come at a better time.

Now of course its not just Saturn we have to contend with- He is a guest in Jupiter's home and therefore subject to his rules, and he is in Virgo. The devil is in the details. Each moment you have matters, and it is high time that you start treasuring them. Time is our most valuable commodity, but my god how we squander it. We binge-watch the latest series on netflix, avoid real connection and conversation with those we love, trudge away in jobs we loathe, and dont get enough (or in some cases, get far too much!) sleep. Our lives flicker away like a candle flame. One of the greatest temptations for us in this age is to look behind us, to become trapped in nostalgia and wearing the past as a security blanket. As we hurtle headlong into a future that terrifies us more and more, the temptation can be overwhelming- The past is a sure thing, unchanging and set in stone. That is a luxury we do not have in the endlessly shifting present. This is a trap- as we indulge more and more into nostalgia, more and more time slips through our hands. The only cure is to dive completely into the NOW. Listen to the hottest music, absorb the most cutting edge TED talks and current podcasts, the most in the now movies and shows, the most groundbreaking science and discoveries. This is your ward against losing your time to the past and the secret to your success in this transit. 


Artemis:

SATURN RETROGRADE 2016

CARDS:  7 of Cups CROSSED BY King of Pentacles
Runes:  Ehwaz and Dagaz

"When the disciple
knows Saturn as the God
who offers opportunity
and does not only
feel him to be Deity
who brings disaster,
then he is on the path
of discipleship in truth
and in deed
and not just
theoretically." - Alice A Bailey, Esoteric Astrology


Saturn, Lord of Karma, is going retrograde.  This is the first of many retrogrades to come, guys.  Pretty much all of the planets will be moving backwards soon, and it's going to feel like a spinning vortex.  The sun entering Aries recently brought us back into the rulership of Martian war energy (as Mars is the ruler of the ram).  And right in the beginning of all of this blood god, we have father time deciding to hit rewind.  Saturn goes retrograde on March 25, which is 2 days after the full moon eclipse in Libra, and he is the first triggered event after the eclipses.  Saturn moves backward from March 23 through August 13, dragging along a heavier than usual dose of karma.    

The first 7 planets can be looked at as the first octave in the solar song, leaving Uranus to naturally be the blasting off into a new octave and new world entirely.  The outer planets are far more concerned with all of us as a collective than they are with individual, micro issues.  They are in charge of a different layer of our consciousness; the collective.

As an Aquarius, I have an intimate relationship with this old devil of a planet.  You see, Aquarians have two dads, Saturn and Uranus, and they both teach very different lessons.  One father has traditionally been called the great malefic (Mars is the lesser malefic).  A malefic in astrology is a planet that is traditionally thought of as "miss-fortunate."  Saturn represents restriction, the constructs of reality, and hard truths.  Our other father, Uranus, has been called the God of Chaos and freedom.  How the hell does Aquarius justify being ruled by such different energies?  The realization comes when you merge dualities in the planet Saturn.  In order to blast off into freedom, one must first learn their limitations.  A kite cannot fly without restriction, and freedom is what you do with what you have.  Aquarius is a very individualistic sign, but somehow also represents the collective.  This is because one must maintain the paradoxical idea of individuality in the collective in order for it to even work.  Without a hub, there is no wheel.

And the wheel of time turns, my friends, but now in the other direction.  "So, what the fuck does this retrograde mean for us, Artemis?"  Ok, ok, patience!  This is something we will be learning a great deal the coming 4 and a half months.  

Saturn sits right on the edge of this world.  As the last of it's octave, it both defines what came before it and prepares us for a chaotic re-birthing.  When Saturn goes retrograde, we turn inward and examine all of the decisions of our past.  Unfinished business will emerge like crazy, and you have to take care of it now or you will not make it to the next cycle.  Because the focus of mind will turn toward the past, so will the types of manifestations that happen in our life.  When we focus on the patterns of the past, they emerge as new lessons in our present.  What vibrational level have we been existing at?  What options remain for us to choose from because of the choices we have made in the past?

Like a record, a planet spinning backward will show us the hidden message buried inside of the structure.  What demonic chants have been inhabiting your subconscious?  It's time to root them out and devour them.

Saturn is relentless and he is going to test us.  Grab the weapons Aries has to offer, punks, because we are officially entering this battlefield.

7 of Cups represents all of the illusions set before us; all of the paths we BELIEVE we have available to us.  Mesmerized by the glowing cups before him, the man in this card can't seem to choose between all of the options he is presented with.  The secret to this card is that all of his choices are a part of the maya / illusion.  Unfortunately for him (and thus you, sorry), this card being crossed by the King of Pentacles means we are going to have to have to choose the path mastery over our material realm.  Represented by the heavy element of lead, Saturn is the master of the material world.  He is all things solidifying.  He is the ultimate meaning - the ultimate construct.  The temptations before us are empty of true Saturnian meaning.  Saturn is rewinding, slowing down time, and wrecking our lives to show us what we really need in order to reach our higher selves.  If you fight back, he will only suffocate you further.  You must act on the gnosis he brings.

The King of Pentacles is only the master of his environment because he KNOWS his environment.  He knows how much yield he will need to feed his people.  He knows how much material he needs to combine to construct his kingdom.  He is the cerebral quality behind earth; the structure needed in order to gain mastery of the elements.  Coupled with the rune Dagaz, he is telling us that this mastery wont come over night.  Saturn is slow and steady, gradual like the coming of the dawn.  If you don't have a steel will, you are going to get crushed under the heavy weight of this transit.  

The rune Dagaz also describes the point of melding between polarities.  Forget what you believe about the good and the bad.  They merge, they play, they exist only because someone put up a wall of restriction.  Saturn going retrograde now puts the responsibility in our hands.  Where are you going to put up your new boundaries?  Check your architectural plans, but keep in mind Saturn's karmic lesson.  Wherever you decide to lay those boundaries, they will have immense repercussions in your future.  Choose wisely.  Be still and meditate.  But also remember, in the end, Saturn is all about Capricornian action as well.  You must choose to build something or you will be devoured.  Once the retrograde ends and Saturn swoops back into forward drive, he will crush you if your plans are not well meditated.  

The rune Dagaz, oddly enough, also looks like an hourglass - representing Father Time quite nicely.  Tic toc, our time has finally come.  It seems the countdown for Tower Year is finally beginning on the precipice of the equinox.  There is so much balance symbolism coming at us right now; from the full moon Libra, eclipse, equinox, and now this Dagaz representation of the Saturnian retrograde.

On to the final piece of the puzzle; the rune Eihwaz.  There is a fire inside all of us; a storm.  Inside, we are empty, like a cup waiting to be filled.  Outside our empty core is the restrictive form.  As a storm progresses, the choice of it's landing becomes ever more clear and the breadth of it's form ever more sturdy.  This is the evolution of our "self."  We are born into this world with many more options than we have at our present.  Sometimes the storm may change course.  This retrograde represents one of those times.  You have been removed from your ability to see all the layers of your reality for far too long.  You are finally going to get some elation and clarity, and you are going to be able to pick which current you want to dive into.  Eihwaz represents the moment when you lose the fear of death, the scythe carrier.  And who else carries a scythe and represents death itself?  Saturn.  For now, we have a reprieve from Papa.  How will you use the creative fire inside of you to smith your future?  

Saturn rules Aquarius because Aquarius knows how to navigate the various currents of humanity.  He knows that no current is the end all be all structure of the world, and there are many ways for people on two different pathways to communicate.  There are many arrangements of form.  As the representative of the circulatory system and connecting pathways, Aquarius understands the impulse of rivers to move toward larger bodies of water.  Deep down, we are all born knowing our destiny.  We are all compelled to it like gravity.  It is confused and muddled by the illusion we are born into; false structures that will fall away in time.  You can see the rot in the world around you.  Shine your light, remove the unnecessary barriers you have set that restrict you from getting to where you need to go, and get on with it before some asshole builds a dam around you and keeps you from your destiny.

Mercury in Aries- Roar

Helios:
Originality is independence, not rebellion; it is sincerity, not antagonism.
-George Henry Lewes

*Breathes in deeply* Smell that, you guys? No, not that, I mean Aries! It's in the air, all around us. It may not quite be here yet (Pisces won't let us go that easily) but Aries is rising up, coming up from below to rip free of Pisces' hold on us. Mercury is our vanguard into the full glory of Aries, running ahead of the Sun to get us ready for the fight ahead.

This Pisces season has been awful. We have struggled with feelings of powerlessness, worthlessness, and an overwhelming fatigue. We are jaded and have given up almost all hope- almost. It is the moment after a crushing defeat, right before your opponent lands the final blow, taking you out for good- This is what we face. But it's not over. You see, in each of us, there is one tiny little glowing ember; one last place in our very souls that we have refused to give up on. These last moments before it all goes out are yours to claim.

So it falls to you- Do you have one last round in you? Can you get up again? Is there anything left to fight for? Or have you truly given up, once and for all? Is this how your story ends? And what of those who stood with you, fought in the trenches with you- They look to you to see what you will do next. Will you you fight for them, if not for yourself? Or will their efforts and sacrifices be for nothing?

Listen, I get it. I know how tempting it is to just give up. I know how tired you are, and how sick you are of taking loss after loss. What you are feeling is completely valid. But the work is not done yet, and you have miles to go before you sleep. The stakes have never been higher, and it is an uphill battle for you. Any ground you take will cost you, deeply. You cannot afford to make any errors. You have everything to lose, but everything to gain. This round is for all of the marbles, and its your last move.

So what's it going to be?


Artemis:
Cards:  4 of Pentacles CROSSED BY Page of Cups

"You can call me a sinner
You can call me a saint
Celebrate me for who I am
Dislike me for what I ain't
Put me up on a pedestal
Or drag me down in the dirt
Sticks and stones will break my bones
But your names will never hurt"  

Mmm our first taste of Aries!  Who doesn't love this self assured energy?  As we all surely know, Mercury is the planet of communication.  It's ingress from an elusive water sign like Pisces into a fire sign like Aries will bring much needed straightforwardness into our communication.  Aries in Mercury is self assured talk, regardless of what they talk is about.  This fire sign believes in his ideas, fervently and with strong possession.  I pulled 4 of Pentacles for this ingress, meaning perhaps we will be TOO strongly rooted in our opinions.  Be careful here.  Aries can be a bit brash and speak out of line.  They are not known for their tact.  You may have a hard time distinguishing between the truth and your opinion.  You may attack others when you are feeling vulnerable about your ideas with far too much force; watch your temper and arrogance.  Seriously, there is a very big difference between confidence and arrogance.  Don't let this huge surge of energy control you!  Be like Aries and control it!  The positive aspect behind this card is that it sets a sort of protection over our mind.  If there is an idea that you truly need to solidify, this will be the time.  You will have the confidence to say exactly what you need to say.

There is a sensitivity to Aries that is never quite realized because of their firestorm energy.  Let me let you in on a little secret (shhhh).  Deep down inside, they are sensitive little lambs.  They are sensitive about their ideas, their presence, their station in life, etc.  But there is something magical about how they deal with this sensitivity that we can all learn from.  They say, "No.  I know who I am.  These fuckers don't know shit about me.  I'll fucking show them!"  This is exactly the kind of energy we need after unsure Pisces.

"This is who I am
You can - Like it or not
You can - Love me or leave me
Cus I'm never gonna stop -No no
Cleopatra had her way
Matahari too
Whether they were good or bad
Is strictly up to you" 

The next card I pulled for this ingress (crossing our original card) is the Page of Cups.  She is tender and gentle.  Wow, what an opposing force!  She is here to warn us that although we may start to feel fired up, we need to be gentle with our fire.  If you turn the burners up to high on your stove, you are going to burn your food.  If you set the heat at just the right temperature, you are going to make something delicious.  Aries says a million things in just one word.  This is, surprisingly, also the Page of Cups.  She says more in a glance than one can sing in a whole song.  Use the Aries bluntness and charm to get what you want in a playful manner and not an aggressive manner (Aries is ruled by Mars, after all, so watch out).  Grand displays will be important right now, but make sure they are there to empower you and those around you instead of just to feed your ego.  With great power comes great responsibility.  With fire driven inspiration in our voices, we must be careful not to turn into dragons.  

"Life is a paradox and it doesn't make much sense
Can't have the Femme without the Fatale
Please don't take offense
Don't let the fruit rot under the vine
Fill up your cup and let's drink the wine" - Madonna

TNO Watch- The Fates

"I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act." -Bhudda

Well y'all are in for a treat today! We're going to go over not one, not two, but THREE minor planets today! Aren't you excited?

You better be because today we're tackling the biggest players there are: The Fates

The Astronomy: 97 Klotho is a fairly large main-belt asteroid. While it is an M-type, its radar albedo is too low to allow a nickel-iron composition. Klotho is similar to 21 Lutetia and 22 Kalliope in that all three are M-types of unknown composition. 13-cm radar observations of this asteroid from the Arecibo Observatory between 1980 and 1985 were used to produce a diameter estimate of 108 km. 120 Lachesis is a large main-belt asteroid. It was discovered by French astronomer Alphonse Borrelly on April 10, 1872, and independently by German-American astronomer Christian Heinrich Friedrich Peters on April 11, 1872. Photometric observations of this asteroid were made in early 2009 at the Organ Mesa Observatory in Las Cruces, New Mexico. The resulting light curve shows a synodic rotation period of 46.551 ± 0.002 hours with a brightness variation of 0.14 ± 0.02 in magnitude. It has the longest rotation period of an asteroid more than 150 km in diameter. As a primitive C-type asteroid it is probably composed of carbonaceous material. 273 Atropos is a typical Main belt asteroid that was discovered by Austrian astronomer Johann Palisa on March 8, 1888 in Vienna. Photometric observations of this asteroid at the Palmer Divide Observatory in Colorado Springs, Colorado in 2007 gave a light curve with a period of 23.852 ± 0.003 hours and a brightness variation of 0.60 ± 0.03 in magnitude. (ripped from wikipedia)

The Mythology: Okay, so these ladies (like most of my favorite bodies to work with) are primordial, and their stories a matter of great debate. Some trace them back to the time of the Titans, some say that they were children of Zeus and Themis and at their fathers command, others say they pretty much just have always been there and Zeus is just as subject to their power as anyone else. No one really agrees on any of it. What they do agree on is their functions; Klotho is the spinner, making the thread and associated with beginnings, Lachesis is the one who measures the thread, determining how much is needed, associated with the present or the middle of the story, and Atropos is the cutter of the cord, the ending. And they would like me to impress upon you all that they are not haggard old women who only have one eye and one tooth between them. That is hurtful slander and they will not stand for it anymore!

The Astrology: Obviously these lovely ladies have similar themes astrologically as well as mythologically. The trouble with them is that it is insanely hard to see them in action, but astoundingly easy in hindsight. Of course, this lends to far more meaning in transit than in the natal chart. The pattern can only be seen when its complete, with perspective. In the chart, you must use all three of them together to see what the hell is going on- Sure, you can focus on one but it wont tell you the full story on its own. In addition to that, Martha Lang-Wescott identifies Klotho as having to do with "conditions (fate and expectations) at the beginning; initial understanding, what is apparent at the start, origins/beginnings in general." I would add to that what one is "made of," having (or not having) "the right stuff," possibly even textiles; Lachesis as signifying "intervention, assessment midway into a sequence, what 'interrupts' an evolving sequence from going as one would have expected (from the way it began or is underway)". Marianne Alexander adds what happens when something is allowed to continue without intervention; or something that occurs by default. One may also say Lachesis indicates deciding the length or duration of something, putting a stop to something (or trying to); and Martha Lang-Wescott has linked Atropos to endings, completion, conditions at the finish, what is needed to conclude. Marianne Alexander has linked Atropos to repetitive action, such as oil drilling. Atropos, I believe, can also signify cutting off, termination, pounding, percussion, "beating one's head against the wall" or "keeping on plugging away" at something.

To find out where they show up in your chart, go to astro.com, put in your birth details and in the extended options, all the way at the bottom there will be a menu of additional objects. Under that is a blank space where you can enter the number 97,120 and 273, for Klotho, Lachesis and Atropos respecitvely. Once you have those entered, generate the chart! Where do the fates affect your life?