Wednesday, July 11, 2012

AstroScene: The Candy Man Can

For real though...

The Moon is tuckered out from her stay over at Uranus and Pallas Athene's place/office/dojo/party headquarters, and is looking for a change of pace, maybe a more chill scene. Still riding high off of the hi-energy buzz from that place, she goes to see everybody's favorite dealer, The Candy Man (aka Neptune) and his business partner, Clip-Clop (Chiron) and he hooks her up with something to help her come down. Still high as balls, she goes to talk about life, the universe and salmon with Pluto, who really helps her come back down to earth. After some heady conversation, she emails Mars to go over the Nutrition and Exercise Action Assault Plan for the week; and promptly heads to bed and pops Neptune's pills, where she dreams strange, strange dreams involving werewolves, prom, a barking dog with a Skrillex haircut, and a small amount of peas.

Mercury has a strategy session with Uranus and Pallas re: investment opportunities in developing countries for a nice tax dodge from the royalties of his wildly successful screenplay. He eventually goes with Haitian diamond mining. Sounds legit. Venus draws up the paperwork, sneaking in a couple clauses for herself while the boys are busy celebrating their combined genius. NEVER trust that girl with legal documents. Pluto helps her with some of the finer points and jargon, and it gets notarized and signed in triplicate.

Mars is having an existential crisis. He ponders his direction in life for about three seconds, and then decides to launch his own Gym after talking to Uranus. His first client? Jupiter. The poor bastard comes in, expecting to hit hard and get swoll after just one session, a week max. When Mars tries to explain how it actually works to him, he storms off and goes back home to Ceres, who backs Mars up. After a LOT of independent research, Jupiter storms back in to the Gym while Mars is hanging up motivational posters and getting everything just so, and just starts punishing the iron. Mars goes back to what he was doing. Vesta calls to check on membership prices.

Meanwhile, over at SaturnCorp, LLC., The CEO is currently obsessed with a new MMO game, and cannot be bothered at the moment, but if you leave your name and number, one of his drone army of executive assistants might get back to you when they feel like it. Eris is hooked too, and the two group up to bully the Sun into submission. He enlists Sedna's help, who is already at level 50 despite only playing for an hour (yay, suspension of disbelief!) and they just obliterate the competition. Juno and Eros also join in the fray, never ones to be left out of anything, and the situation just devolves until everyone forgets why they were fighting and go on a flashpoint quest. Psyche starts playing about 10 minutes later, after everyone else logs off.

Til next time!
-The AstroGeek

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