|Conflict by Anton Rehrl, CCL|
Hope and despair. Power and impotence. Past and future. Heaven and Hell. Human and Divine. Head and Heart. Confidence and Doubt. Welcome to the edge of the storm. The crosswinds of the opposing forces within you are ripping you apart. You have moments before it envelops you- What is your play? Whatever it is, you cannot hesitate- You will only get one shot here, so you better make it count. We stand on the precipice of the challenge that the Cardinal Crisis spent years molding us for- And instead of being battle-ready, eager to take on whatever the cosmos can fling at us, we are running from the front lines as fast as we can! Those who can't run? Shaking in their boots, second guessing every decision in their life that has led them to this point, trying to figure out the moment where it all went wrong to lead them here.
It will do you no good to run- You couldn't possibly hide from this, because the battle you face is within yourself. Each of us will have our demons to face, but I promise you one thing- Helios and Artemis are here, with you, fighting at your back. We will get you through this, I swear it. This is what we have been training for, and it is OUR moment!
Artemis Says:“I've never fooled anyone. I've let people fool themselves. They didn't bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn't argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn't.” -- Marilyn Monroe
Out of all the mutable signs, the strongest source of chaos seems to originate from Gemini. Like Virgo, there is a sense of striving toward order but being stretched too thin. At least Virgo is an earth sign, giving her a sense of grounding and purpose to her chaos. Gemini is ruled by air, and this in itself gives him very little restriction. Of course, this could drive a person insane and create a sort of split persona. Perhaps this is why Gemini is represented by the Twins; you're always talking to two different people when talking to a Gemini. One person dwells deep inside and they are extraordinarily insightful. This twin has a wonderful appreciation for higher intellectual pursuits, a keen eye when it comes to analysis of any kind, a whimsical sense of humor and an ability for the arts that can rival any other sign in the Zodiac. The other Twin is kind of a piece of shit (or just really ridiculously flashy). Oh shut up, Gemini, you all know it's true! We never know which one of you to expect, and I bet you don't either. This new moon is a lot like that. What the hell is on the horizon? What can we expect? And who are we going to end up choosing to be?
H: The Sun, Moon, Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune and Pluto- You read that right. All seven are counted in this. Let's break this down- The hot zone will be anything between 12-16 degrees of your chart, but especially the mutables. This is major change energy in the air- Yes, things have been stagnant and you have been at a loss as for what to do to surmount your obstacles. Overnight, it seems like these obstacles are melting away in front of you, and the ground has suddenly changed from quicksand to one of those horizontal escalator walkways that they have in airports for no adequately explored reason and that exist no where else- Only they actually have some speed to them, and its more than you can handle. The main players are going to be the benefics, Venus and Jupiter. This new moon is right on Venus and being squared by Jupiter; But in the background are Saturn, Neptune and Pluto. You are caught between your brightest future and your darkest past. Your secrets, mistakes, lies and failures seek to weigh you down so that you may never reach those lofty peaks you dream of- Your fears haunt you at every turn, and your insecurities take every opportunity to remind you how much of a piece of shit you actually are. They rake you over the coals for every misspoken word, every failed venture, and every chance that you didn't take. They will do this for as long as you continue to give them your attention- Engaging in that negative self-talk will only give your demons more power over you. In spite of the war raging in your head and heart, you have achieved so much, so quickly, and in ways that those around you never believed that you were capable of- But you cannot see it. All you see is your failures, because you are the only one who knows their full extent! You can get through this, but to do so you will need to forget the failures, and the losses. You need to get over yourself- No, your life is not perfect and blissful, and exactly the way it turned out since you planned it all out at age 10. No ones is. You are not that same person as you were back then, and thank god for it- if you insist on trying to gauge your success on that metric, your original plan, you will ALWAYS come up short. You have to let go of that dialogue that says that you need to get back to the original model- Unless you somehow develop time travel powers there is no way to do it (and then you run into causality, and bifurcated timelines... its a giant hassle); You have to deal with your situation, this world, reality as it is - Not how you wish it would have been. Most of all, you have to be honest with yourself- There is something in your past, or in your subconscious that you are desperately trying to hide from. This is keeping you chained to it, so that you can never escape it. Break your shackles and face the truth. Only then can you move forward. (Minor Planets in play- Psyche, Tantalus, Hopi, Teharonhiawako, Hidalgo, Osiris, Phaethon, Cyllarus, Bienor, Echeclus, Ceto)
A: The Sun (ace of wands), Moon (3 of Pentacles), Venus (8 of Pentacles), Jupiter (High Priestess), Saturn (7 of Pentacles), Neptune (7 of Wands) and Pluto (Queen of Swords):
There seems to be a "split" in all the air signs. Gemini is split by two personas, Libra is split by everything in fucking existence - trying fruitlessly to bring it all together, and Aquarius is split between the heavens and earth. Unfortunately, this leads to a sort of dissociation in all three signs. Who are they really? Do you remember how I told you on the Sagittarius Full Moon that what we imagine, we become? I pulled the same goddamn card for the moon again; the Ace of Wands. It makes a lot of sense. This time, we are tackling it from a far more personal side than when we were being pummeled by moon in Saggo energy. Saggo asked us who we wanted to be in regards to the collective, and Gemini is asking us who we are going to choose to be in regards to our own daily life.
Marilyn is the perfect example of a Sun (and Mercury) in Gemini person. Her friends would talk about how she could trigger different personas into existence at whim, and how she could effortlessly weave her way through conversations. One minute she was Norma Jean; quiet, intellectual, serious, and plain. People would pass her on the street without a second glance. She would tell her friends to watch closely as she shifted into Marilyn Monroe. The next minute she would "transform" into her other half with a little shift in posture and mindset. People immediately began to notice her as she walked down the street. This is Gemini's gift. You can project on to them as much bullshit as you'd like, and the inner twin will always be just behind the scenes taking notes as the more theatrical twin is picking away at your defenses. What you imagine, you become. What others imagine we are, we become. Instead of putting down the inner person who is clearly not the outer person, use the "image" others create for you as a weapon. Theater is an important art-form. Figuring out which myth people believe you are living out can come to your advantage. Venus and Jupiter are going to be helping us chop wood and carry water, so to speak. Jupiter is whispering to us that the secret to all of this lies in him, and that Venus is helping him construct this grand plan. Both planets are sitting in Mercury ruled signs; Virgo and Gemini. So, the answer lies with connecting to others who share similar views in regards to connection that we do. How can we merge our ideas with others? How are we all going to put together our little pieces of the puzzle with those who are working on the same puzzles as us?
While you are working with your allies, you need to prepare for your enemies. How can you use the "idea of you" that they have to destroy them?
It's time to focus on how to use our skills, especially our personality, to get what we want. Jesus Christ, I sounded so Gemini just then... Although Gemini knows how to nudge people in various directions for their own benefit, there is always this underlying guilt they face. Perhaps this is why they are constantly running in the middle of situations they have manifested? This warns us to keep in mind that whatever you do to turn a situation into your favor, do so without nudging people off of their own path. All in all, this is an extremely creative moon. Use it to paint a beautiful new mask for this stage we call life. The myths we create are a map of the underlying reality of things; which we are unable to truly communicate. Sorry, Gemini, we know how much you like to communicate. How do you talk about something that we really don't know how to talk about? Art.
While you are learning how to use your exterior self as an art form, don't get too lost in the being that you create. You are never exactly what others say you are. Your inner self also has some shit they are dealing with that needs focus as well. The outer planets are digging under our skin to reveal to us the truth of our inner lives. Sometimes love has to be tough. Pluto has always had a bad reputation for being volatile when she should be tender (makes sense that I pulled the Queen of Swords for her). Remember, there is a need for fire to clear things that are overrun. There is an ancient wisdom to Pluto that tells us that to uncover what is buried inside of us, we have to dig deep and use big explosives. It is a violent process. Anytime false ideas about who we are come toppling down, it can't help but be a violent process. Use this chaos around us like a ladder. Gemini knows that when the pieces scatter, you can use them to create whatever fairy tale you wish to create. The Mutable Grand Cross that is coming up in less than 2 weeks is going to be a big opportunity. We are going to be able to re-arrange the pieces of our existence into a new shape. Mutable signs like Gemini are like play doe. You can pummel them into any form that you wish, but always keep in mind that it is not permanent. We will be learning grand lessons of impermanence now, from crumbling social circles to crumbling ideas of persona. Keep in mind that the truth of any individual can never be gleamed from one perspective of them. We are like the eye of a storm; still and empty like a void. Our exterior is always spinning and changing; picking up pieces of others as we move along our path. We are both. The person that you create to take on your exterior world has repercussions for the person living inside of you. Remember this as you choose which myth you want to live out.
H: Mercury and Uranus- As you are dredging up the mire in your head, your mind is supercharged right now, going a mile a minute trying to think up a clever way out of the situation your cleverness got you into. News flash- getting out of it, running from the problem? The least effective way to move forward. Your best way out is through. Note that I didnt say the ONLY way there- you can choose just about any way to move you want: Forward, back, up, west or at a downward slope. Doesn't matter. You will move, and if you dont harness the energy here for your own aims, it will run roughshod over you, and when it is done with you it will cast you aside in a random direction of its choosing- not yours. For some of you, this is what you really want- I get it, but if you can take control, why not do so? You will also run into the issue where you are afraid of what you want, that it is either not big or world-changing enough, that your dreams are too small and you cannot be enough for this world- that you have missed your shot at your best life. If you do, reexamine what you think you want. See if your goals are still in line with your path. (Minor Planets in play- Ceres, Borasisi, Hebe, Niobe, Hybris, Bacchus)
A: Mercury (Page of Swords) and Uranus (9 of Wands):
Eek, we're up against the ropes and have no idea where to move from here. 9 of Wands indicates our huge sense of exhaustion, yet it also shows us that we have a lot of EXPERIENCE now. These two cards show us that we are finally coming into a deeper understanding of our mental workings. The Page of Swords is always poised to move but a little nervous. She has all the knowledge she needs, just as the 9 of Wands, but where the 9 of Wands is exhausted and beat up, the Page of Swords is nervous and anxious. You need to figure out a way to ground yourself and summon some strength. Things are literally going to be able to go anywhere from here. The Mutable Grand Cross and this Mutable sun and moon are telling change is here whether we like it or not. Uranus is about to go conjunct with Eris (June 1), which is sending more CHANGE our way. You can sit there and cry about how tired and nervous you are, or you can keep plugging away. Venus being the 8 of Pentacles tells me that our route to fortune is going to be in the plugging away, regardless of the insanity coming from Mercury and Uranus. Make a move.
H: Mars and Chiron- With all of this, what can you actually do about any of it? Well, this is mostly going to be an internal struggle, primarily a mental one. The best thing to do is to focus on resolving your conflict, and not trying to rush it- You must not try to push forward quicker than the flow wishes for you. You can choose to do so, but I promise that you will be pushed back and knocked on your ass at every turn if you do. Or you could be patient and allow events to unfold in harmony (*cough cough* Fourth Law *cough cough*). The downside to following the path, the flow, is that right now no matter what course of actions you decide to take you will be forced to confront old issues that have not been resolved. Any shortcuts you have taken, anything unfinished will be thrown back up in your face. We have been down the chirotic path before though, so you know the territory- besides, the more you face the issues, the less power they have over you. Your freedom comes from this conflict, both within and without. You must not shrink from it- you have to fight through. Step up and fight for your future or watch it fall away (Minor Planets in play- Siwa, Varuna)
A: Mars (the Heirophant) and Chrion (6 of Pentacles):
Ugh, Mars is retrograding into Scorpio, meaning more skeletons popping up for us. It's fine. Every time these issues come around, they give us a deeper understanding of why they manifested in our lives. Everything is not as it initially seems. Chiron is the Wounded Healer of the asteroids and he is telling us we have to be willing to give as much healing as we are receiving. To heal yourself, you have to help heal others. The thing is, we have to seek the perfect balance right now. Putting too much energy into others, or putting too much energy into yourself over others, is going to send you under. Everyone's self esteem is struggling right now. Build each other up as Mars in Scorpio brings back more unfinished business for everyone. We seriously all need to work together. Throwing others off the cliff is not going to make it easier for you to climb the mountain. Sure, if it's one of your piece of shit enemies, knock that sucker to the motherfucking ground. But if it's a friend, or someone you hardly really know, lend a fucking hand. You are going to need people you trust holding the ropes for you, and vice versa. There is something really strange about the Heirophant representing Mars in retrograde in Scorpio. I get a sense of ancestors calling out to us. Sit and meditate on this. What unlived dreams of your ancestors do you need to address? How are you an unknowing device for your ancestors to live out those dreams? This is an important thing to keep in mind when we are manifesting a future for ourselves in the coming weeks. Keep in mind what your dreams are juxtaposed against the dreams everyone has been feeding you plus the dreams that your ancestors never fulfilled due to giving up on their lives or any other tragedy that may have befallen them. Gemini teaches us that we are never truly just one person, and we never truly serve just one master.