Sunday, August 28, 2011

Under Seige

I come to you tonight, dear reader, from behind enemy lines. There are bombs exploding all around the compound, and we are frighteningly short on our supplies of chocolate covered gold, which the evil forces of xixixixix will stop at nothing to get their grubby green hands on. Luckily, we have about a week until the end of their life cycle, so there are no worries there. With enough ammo to start the next 14 world wars, I have no doubts as to our continued survival in our lush palatial island. However, as they have hijacked our satelite for their daily Telenovelas, there might be a continuation of the unavoidable delay in new content. But dont take that as a sign that i am slacking and just lounging on the beach somewhere, oh no! Big updates are in the works, like new consults, new features, and maybe (just maybe) a site overhaul? You'll have to stick around and see!

                                                                                       Yours in Awesome
                                                                                            -The AstroGeek

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Full Moon in Aquarius: Moving Forward

Seriously, Its that time again? Ok, time for me to look busy, say hmmmm a lot, and use "interesting...." way more than is necessary. Lets see....

The main goal here is Transformation. The last couple moons were about toxicity; mainly identifying and rejecting it, and here, we're fed up and actually getting rid of it! Its high time we start changing what we don't want in our lives anymore to get what we actually DO want. A big part of this is rejecting the conditioning that we need to act, speak, or behave in a certain way to get the approval of others in our life. But in the end, YOU are the star of this show, not anyone else. So ruffle some feathers, start ad-libbing, and take it to where you want it to go. Healthy rebellion is good, but don't take it too far. We don't need another Reign of Terror (Hold off on ordering the guillotine until the New Moon in Capricorn. It'll only make the neighbors suspicious).

The other side of this is that there are those (you know who they are) who are operating from an ego level, and you will be highly aware of this. DO NOT PLAY THEIR GAME!!! You will both lose in the end. Lord knows we don't need no more drama. Avoid, Detach, and Transform.

Ok, lets look at the planets.

The Sun/Moon: A conjunction to Venus indicates that harmony and love are on the brain, and as they should. Dont be so tough on yourself, this is the perfect opportunity for some self-love (Or some reckless adoration from your audience *hem hem*). You might be in danger of being in love with the idea of love, rather than the actual object of affection. The Sun is also making a trine to the North Node, so this is a great time to start something that you've been waiting for to further your goals. Quaoar sitting in a trine shows that there is a serious desire to perform, and create something. So do it! I promise it'll be fun. A trine to Bienor could definitely indicate that you could come under attack for something that you do, and you might not see it coming. A sextile to Eurydike and Ophelia, however, can show itself as a tendency to play the victim/martyr. Rise above, and channel that into something creative. The one to really watch though, is an Opposition to Damocles. There is a sword hanging over your head, and you need to tread carefully. Make sure you do not steamroll over anyone, and take their feelings into consideration (well, at least be aware of them).

Mercury: Still in retrograde, the tendency here is navel-gazing, and there's not much that's encouraging here. A Square to Asbolus indicates that your outlook can sway toward the negative, with a narrow vision and a fatalistic outlook. Remember, you have the power to change your life however you see fit AT ANY TIME. A square to Admetos further emphasizes this, adding in the challenge of running away from your problems when you should face them. Shoot from the hip and you will find you will be able to avoid a lot of convoluted drama, shown by a sextile to Sauer.

Venus: In addition to the pattern she is in with the Sun/Moon, Venus is sitting in a conjunction with Minerva, the Roman Athene. You would do well to avoid jumping into a relationship. Take your time, and watch yourself. A sextile to Thereus indicates a tendency to get taken in by glamour and illusion, so check the fine print. Keep your personal and professional lives separate. A square to Okyrhoe shows that you might come under fire because of your relationships. Listen to the criticism, because there's a niggling doubt that you have that needs addressed.

Mars: Still opposing Pluto, the frustration and difficulty that you are facing down right now is providing you with the impetus for a major change, one that will change your life drastically. Use it as a catalyst to turn lead into gold, or risk getting burned up. Let go of what no longer serves you; The more that you hold on, the more you get poisoned. A square to Kronos indicates that you will be asked to make tough decisions, but if you rise to the challenge, you will achieve your goals. Another square, this time to Terpsichore, shows that you may not feel like your life is really all that you want, but this is an excellent time to count your blessings. If thats not enough, and you start feeling negativity creeping in, go for a walk or hit the gym, get moving and clear your head. A conjunction to Amor shows that you are feeling very lovey-dovey, which is not a bad thing, per se, but make sure that you don't miss any details while you're looking through rose-colored glasses (jeez, how many more metaphors can i mix? (well, i never met a four i didn't like...) no further questions, your honor, the prosecution rests)). A conjunction to Cyllarus further emphasizes the martyr tendency, and another to Dionysus shows just how easy it is to overdo it right now.

Jupiter: Oh, Jupiter...What's to be done? Well, his only major aspects are a square to Vesta, showing a strain on your faith; and to Lachesis, indicating certain situations in your life have almost run their course; and to Kassandra, so your good advice will probably fall on deaf ears.

Saturn: Whew boy, someone's been busy! Saturn is taking a breather from the major players in the game, but behind the scenes is wheeling and dealing with some interesting aspects. A trine to Memoria and Hermes brings back the navel-gazing, but there's a lesson in the 
rehashing. Pay attention, because there will be a test. With Aesculapius also in the picture, your dreams can bring some important messages. The one that catches my eye though, is a trine to Phaethon. If you are daring, and not afraid to try something BIG, you can build upon your success and make a name for yourself. HUGE potential here, with the added benefit of protection from a major fall if you listen to both of these influences. Be bloody bold and resolute. A sextile to Hylonome shows that your dedication to those you love is going to be a major boon to you right now, so call up someone you really care about and just connect to them. You don't always need a reason to tell someone you care. An opposition to Pelion can leave you feeling a little alone, but know that you are being groomed for greatness.

Uranus: With an opposition to Atlantis, now's not the best time for that shiny new idea. hold off for a bit, and perfect it a little more. A trine to Itokawa, however, shows that you have reached a major milestone, and that you have made great progress. A sextile to Hephaistos builds on this. Call your mom, or if she is no longer with us, take some time and honor her memory. If you are still carrying an old hurt regarding her, now is the time to let that go. A trine to Apollo shows that you are shining bright now, so use it while you have it.

Neptune: Wow. Starting out, there is an opposition to Isis, so look for magic in your daily life. Don't be surprised if it shows up in some unlikely places! Helping others is a great way to work through some of this frustration, but don't forget to help yourself first. A square to Hidalgo and Chariklo can put you in the spotlight, but in this case its more of putting you on the spot. Breathe, and don't rush anything or be too hasty. You never know who's watching. With a sextile to Siva, there is MAJOR transformation taking place. Meditation is a great boon right now; patience and detachment are a MUST. Don't let yourself be clouded by the mundane crap (but dont forget to pay the cable bill!). Also, feelings of "I should/shouldn't" can be an issue; Remember that you did the best you could with what you had at the time, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it now. A square to Lilith can mean that you are feeling repressed/trapped, most likely by your own choices. Also, a sextile to Child brings up an excellent time to get in touch with your inner child. Are all your needs being met? Are you throwing a tantrum?

Pluto: A square to Altjira shows that you want to just run away and start over, but this is really just a call to transformation in disguise. A trine to Diana further emphasizes this, but here its much healthier to go walk in the park than pack up and move. Another square, this time to Juno, shows that power games and drama are major traps in your path. Know who to trust. A trine to Osiris is helping you resurrect the dreams that you gave up in order to pay the bills. An opposition to Askalaphus can cause you to be punished for trying to play by the rules and speak the truth, but the truth will win out, so stick to your guns. A trine to Elatus is a major mood booster, much needed right now. Use it to assuage that doubt that all this change in your life is actually working against you. Take stock of how far you've come, and don't forget to be grateful for all the progress you've made!

All in all, big things are in the works, so trust that you're on the right track and go forth with confidence. After all, fortune favors the bold!


Image courtesy of Disney, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dont sue me, im still trying to pay off Marvel.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

ASTROSCENE: The Takedown

Hey everyone, sorry about the hiatus. There was an unfortunate incident involving a Snow Leopard that i had to contend with. Note: never take a snow leopard as a roomate; they never clean up after themselves, never pay the rent, and they shed all over the place.

Anyway, you came to see a post. So without further ados....

Since we last left the Sun, he has started a major cult that threatens to take over the globe. Vulcan is a High Priest, and Psyche and Venus are the heads of the Harem, er wives...
Uranus stops by and tries to rally for progressive reforms at the next meeting. Ceres brings quiche. Saturn looks on disapprovingly, while at the same time secretly wanting to join in on the fun.

Pallas prepares an expose of the blatant human rights violations, but Vesta accidentally tapes over the footage with a recording of her cat show. She suprises everyone with her new passion, fantasy baseball.

Mercury re-enters (stage right) the drama; turns out that he is going back to school, and in his abscence he was making a college visit. Neptune knew, but just forgot to mention it to everyone. Chiron whaps him upside the head, then gives him a band-aid.

Turning to the Moon, we find out that she is PISSED and not going to take any of the B.S. any more. She launches an all-out offensive on the Sun's cult, bringing in a team of Mercenaries er, professional security contractors to storm the palace and stage a coup. Jupiter finances the operation, and Pallas comes up with the battle plan. It all goes horribly wrong, and the Cult lives on.

Mars is feeling very depressed, and goes to go pick a fight with Pluto. They wind up talking and find out they have a lot in common, and Pluto gives him some new music for his playlist (Dashboard Confessional, most likely). Neptune joins the party, and brings tequila. Chiron is the DD.

Suprisingly, Eris is not involved in anything. No one has any idea where she is, and everyone is on edge.

Juno is settling well into her new position of V.P. of Operations at SaturnCorp, Inc., and by "settling" we mean a bloodthirsty reign of terror marked by incessant politeness, a removal of all swearing, and loads of pastel colors. The workers start up a new commitee for workplace equality, helped along by Uranus. Ceres brings more quiche.

Eros takes a stroll by himself to get lost, and runs into Sedna. She is instantly charmed by his swarthy, earthy charm, and he is intruiged by her Yeah, thats it.

Ok, so here's the deal: due to circumstances beyond my control, the AstroScene is going to be a weekly thing, as I am more than a little swamped. I am still doing consults (at the moment). The TNO Watch will still be coming out as scheduled.

And as always, go check out my Astro-Crew, found over to the left. They all rock, hard-core.

Image courtesy of

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

ASTROSCENE: Pobodys Nerfect

Busy times here, seems like everybody's got a job to do and they're doing it well.

The Sun and Jupiter are still having an unofficial feud, but nobody can remember what it was about, or why everyone keeps finding mugs all over the place. Pluto Somehow made his way into the palace without anyone noticing, and has posted up in the basement and refuses to leave. Ceres tries unsuccessfully to chase him out with a broom, but he just stares at her like she's on crack and lights the thing on fire. Next time she comes back with a iron frying pan. 

Venus is forced to pay the bill for her shopping excursion, which forces her to actually go out and get a JOB. After three minutes at the local taco/burger/coffee joint, she gets fired, sleeps with the manager and wins a nice sexual harassment lawsuit settlement negotiated by Saturn. The company goes bankrupt, and thousands lose their jobs. Way to go.

Psyche sits down with Pallas Athene for a exclusive look inside the palace life. Incredibly boring as it is, due to all the good parts being edited out, It makes Pallas' career as an hard-hitting journalist. Her first assignment: covering a fashion show for cats, put on by Vesta.

I know, you're shocked. Bear with me guys, we're just getting to the good part.  

Mars hates everybody. He packs his bags and takes the midnight train going anywhere.

Vulcan makes a brilliant pitch at SaturnCorp about the amazing new product he just invented, inspired by Eros. He wins a contract and it goes into development immediately.

Neptune joins a monastic school. Chiron drags him out kicking and screaming.

Uranus fights for Free trade agreements in South America. This time, he swings Psyche onto his side, and she becomes the public face of his campaign.

Juno launches her own PR firm, after firmly erasing the memory of the last debacle from the people's collective consciousness. After a couple of misguided billboard designs, she nails it and becomes an overnight success.

Mercury is still AWOL, but there have been reports of a thin, distinguished man in a top hat from Argentina shouting belligerently at anyone he sees, and with an obsession for counting things in shop windows. No word yet on if this is the same guy.

Until we find him, I present to you his favorite song when he bails on us mortals. If we play it enough, he might just remember that we don't disappear when he does.

Mercury Retrograde 8/2-8/26/11: A Chord of Silence

Before I start this post, let me preface by saying: you guys are awesome! The feedback and support i've been getting from this foray into becoming an official astro-commenter has been unreal. Seriously, I never imagined id even get here, i just thought it would be me shouting out to a lonely blog that nobody read. Big shout-out to my awesome friends, Elsa, over at who is kind enough to repost what i say (when its good) to a huge audience i just couldn't get on my own. Now there are people in China, Yugoslavia, Australia, all over the world who are reading my silly posts! Its crazy, and i am crazy grateful. Also, mad love to Karen over at, without whom none of this would be possible. Seriously, she is amazing and if i am ever half the astrologer she is,i will die a happy man. Last, but certainly not least in anything, Starzina over at, the inspiration (along with Julie Dembowski over at for this website. Also, mad props to my girl Tracy over at Without her, i would never know where any of my space junk was.

And of course; Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who is reading these posts. You guys are why i do this (so give us a shout in the comments!!).  

Sappiness over and done with, we move on to the good stuff.

Well everybody, its that time of year again. Watch your p's and q's, don't buy any cars, and for god's sake don't sign anything without a team of lawyers at the ready.

Ok, now that we're done with the obligatory (yet still (somewhat) valid) nonsense, here's the real scoop:

To those of you looking at me with fear and confusion in your eyes, let me explain. Every 4 months or so, Mercury appears to turn around and go backward in the sky from our vantage point here on Earth. Now, this is usually greeted by pop astrologers (hem hem) by choruses of banshees shrieking about their internet being funky, cars breaking down, and a general breakdown of communication across the board.

Now, lets be clear about something: This DOES happen. When it happens during these times, its astrology in action; every other time, its called LIFE.

The truth of the matter is, Mercury retrograde is one of my favorite times. I get an excuse to slow down, focus on what really matters, and just take some time to go into zen mode. I tend to leave my super-amazing smart phone at home, turn off my iPad, and just walk around outside with a goofy smile on my face. Well, okay, to be honest i do that anyway. But that's besides the point.

This retrograde period is going to be a really interesting one. For one thing, its starting off at the first degree of Virgo, a very important sign to Mercury, where he is both in Rulership, his home sign, and he has the distinction of also being in Exaltation, the best possible expression of his... for lack of a better word, energy. So we're starting off from a great position.

This is not without its challenges, however. On the other side of the arena is the master of illusions himself, Neptune. In his home sign of Pisces (if only by 4 arc minutes), no less. So expect to go into this not knowing which way is up. The deeper message of Neptune in Pisces, however, is to see past all the b.s. and get to what's really important. And maybe learn some higher truths along the way, some serious God experiences.

I suppose I should explain the title of this post. A major theme for this retro is taking a deep breath and hitting the reset button. You are beginning to recognize where you are causing your own downfall in your story. And as the quote goes "It is not the past that hinders your today, but the portion of it you brought to the present". Its time to bring those old stories to a proper end. When you do that, before you jump into a new one, sit in the silence for a while. Really focus on what you want your new story to sound like. Be present in yourself.

Moving on to the asteroids in play, we find Sisyphus sextile Mercury, suggesting that finally, we are going to be rewarded for our hard work, and it wasn't all for nothing. The work is nowhere near done however, and a new set of challenges awaits. Amor is also in sextile, indicating that your love life is seriously going to be brought up and rehashed in gross detail. Prepare for the exes to come out of the woodwork. Orcus is conjunct the trickster, so beware of promising things you don't intend to deliver on, and watch out for what seems too good to be true, because it is. A sextile to Hades shows us that this is going to be a very deep transit, forcing us to face some ugly truths about ourselves, but if we stand our ground and face them, we will come out stronger for it. Mercury Square Hidalgo indicates that we will encounter some fierce opposition from those who are set in their beliefs, and will try to impress those same beliefs on you. The square to Chariklo doesn't help anything in that regard either, indicating that what we put out there might not be pretty, or welcome, but it is the truth, so stick to your guns. The interesting one to me, however is a trine to Siva, showing the true potential for this transit: the alchemical burning away of everything that you're using to hold yourself back, connecting you to a deeper truth that is unshaken by outside influences.

Now, helping this along, and providing the catalyst for change, is Mars, who is moving to oppose Pluto. This is taking place along the Cancer-Capricorn axis, showing that your personal passions are going to be stirred up. You've had enough talk of change, and improvement. You want the real deal, you want ACTION!! And you know what? You're going to take it. And that awesome vision of how your life could be? You have an opportunity to make real progress on getting to those goals, and making them a reality. In the meantime, however, its going to feel like you're pushing a boulder up a mountain, only to have it fall back down when it gets to the top.

Further emphasizing this is a sextile between Mars, Osiris and Isis-Transpluto. This transit is going to literally back from the dead, and restore your spirit. A square to Typhon, however, reveals that the monsters are still very real, and their claws are still as sharp as they were before. Diana, the wild goddess, is in Sextile, standing shoulder to shoulder with you. You are not alone in your fight here, and the burden is not yours alone. Reach out to your support network, find solace in your friends and family.

Venus is Still bathing in the golden light of Leo, with the Sun and Psyche, in square to Jupiter and Eros, and Opposite Pallas Athene and Vesta. Whew boy. So, we have a conflated self-image tied into the ego and coupled with an unobtainable (and frankly, masochistic) romantic ideal, standing against higher spiritual truth, dedication, and self-perfection ideals bordering on robotic reactions, all being agitated by naive overconfidence and fierce passion and reckless actions based upon attraction alone.  Yep, sounds about right.

In her entourage, we have a conjunction to Altjira, so beware of being too cool and detached, and dont run away from your problems. Another conjunction, this time to Klotho, reveals that a new story is definitely starting when it comes to your relationships. Watch out for a square to Tantalus, because you might keep reaching for something just out of reach when you have what you want in front of your face. A sextile to Nemesis warns of being too proud, and try not to shut anybody down just because you're not interested. Let them down gently.

Jupiter is pissed. He just wants everyone to get along and quit bothering him. He's showing an opposition to Deucalion, so just keep the faith, and do your job well without worrying about the results. Another opposition to Poseidon shows that getting angry and starting drama will get you NOWHERE. Trust me. Just stay out of it, and do you. The last important opposition is to Niobe. Again, stay humble, and be grateful for what you have, or it will go up in flames faster than you can say "Hephaestus". Jupiter is also conjunct Karma, so you will get what is coming to you, but i cant promise what form that will take.

On to Saturn. He is sitting conjuct Zeus, showing that although they are getting along for possibly the first time in ever, he has gone off the deep end and will not hesitate to cut you down if you show the slightest disrespect. A trine to Kassandra shows that his voice of reason will be there, but you just have to listen; ignore it at your own peril. A square to Achilles indicates that you are probing for your own weaknesses, and that you really need to put your armor on that spot.

All in all, its a very active retrograde, and if you stay strong and stay away from and put an end to drama, you will come out the other side stronger than you ever dreamed, and in a position to put your dreams into motion.

I promise you, you will get there.

Image courtesy of

TNO Watch: Makemake

Make make (pronounced Meke-Meke) is awesome. He is what would happen if Mercury was in charge. Needless to say, the gods are TERRIFIED of this, and what would happen, so the awesomeness is kept to a minimum. Easter Island, to be specific, or Rapa Nui by those who call it home, also called Rapanui for added confusion. Now on this tiny, desolate, remote little island, there used to be one of the lushest tropical paradises the world has ever seen, populated with the friendliest, happiest islanders that you ever did know. Researchers are experimenting with a compound that occurs only on that island and nowhere else, that may be the key to not only curing cancer, but also stopping the aging process and growing super-plants that grow huge and bear tons of fruit.

Now we don’t know a lot about the island, its people, or its mythology, or those big stone heads that everyone is always talking about, the Moai; we do however, know that some of the local pastimes on the island included pick pocketing, wearing silly hats, generally making fun of everyone, and something called the Birdman Competition.   

Pay attention, because this is important.

The competition was a rite of passage for the young men coming of age on the island. What would happen is, the contestants would be notified in a dream by the village seer that they would be playing, and that would pretty much be the end of their involvement. They would then select a Hopu, who would swim across shark infested waters about two miles out to retrieve an egg and bring it back to their patron. The first one to do this would receive special privileges, and basically be the alpha male on the island for a year.  

This seems to be what Make make is all about in astrology, the divine trickster who calls us into the competition that is our life, and leads us to victory. It’s all about the sacred quest which is so central to the rite of passage that leads us from boys to men (or girls to women, but there are many other stories that parallel that transition much better than this one, in my humble opinion.)

Now this is not a simple story by any means. Make make is a trickster, after all. He throws obstacles in your way, and will expect you to overcome them. Half of the game is figuring out the rules, as it is with anything Mercury. When you do, however, you earn the big prize: self-realization.

Self-realization is what the ancient Greeks were talking about when they said “Know Thyself”, one of my favorite mantras. You see, if you know who you are, then you are less likely to be fazed in this world, where everyone is trying to impose an idea of who you should be on you. Let me rephrase that: If you know who you are, no one can make you into something that you’re not. And even more importantly, you don’t have to make yourself into anyone that you don’t want to be.

And that, my friends, is where the true power lies. Not power over others, not power in fame or power achieved through force; just the power to rise to the challenge of being yourself in a world that is constantly trying to get you to be something else.

Also, I would be remiss if i didn't bring up another major theme Make Make is tied to: Sustainability. Now that has become a major buzzword in our world, but what does it really mean when you get down to it? Well I'm glad you asked. Sustainability means building a life that you can keep going, based upon what you have, and not over-reaching or overtaxing your resources. As we seem to be burning all of our bridges here for this idea, and we sacrifice new ideas that could take us out of the hole we've dug for ourselves to balance the budget, you have to wonder, "What is the trickster pulling here?". I guess we'll see. 

Image sourtesy of