Saturday, August 6, 2011

ASTROSCENE: The Takedown

Hey everyone, sorry about the hiatus. There was an unfortunate incident involving a Snow Leopard that i had to contend with. Note: never take a snow leopard as a roomate; they never clean up after themselves, never pay the rent, and they shed all over the place.

Anyway, you came to see a post. So without further ados....

Since we last left the Sun, he has started a major cult that threatens to take over the globe. Vulcan is a High Priest, and Psyche and Venus are the heads of the Harem, er wives...
Uranus stops by and tries to rally for progressive reforms at the next meeting. Ceres brings quiche. Saturn looks on disapprovingly, while at the same time secretly wanting to join in on the fun.

Pallas prepares an expose of the blatant human rights violations, but Vesta accidentally tapes over the footage with a recording of her cat show. She suprises everyone with her new passion, fantasy baseball.

Mercury re-enters (stage right) the drama; turns out that he is going back to school, and in his abscence he was making a college visit. Neptune knew, but just forgot to mention it to everyone. Chiron whaps him upside the head, then gives him a band-aid.

Turning to the Moon, we find out that she is PISSED and not going to take any of the B.S. any more. She launches an all-out offensive on the Sun's cult, bringing in a team of Mercenaries er, professional security contractors to storm the palace and stage a coup. Jupiter finances the operation, and Pallas comes up with the battle plan. It all goes horribly wrong, and the Cult lives on.

Mars is feeling very depressed, and goes to go pick a fight with Pluto. They wind up talking and find out they have a lot in common, and Pluto gives him some new music for his playlist (Dashboard Confessional, most likely). Neptune joins the party, and brings tequila. Chiron is the DD.

Suprisingly, Eris is not involved in anything. No one has any idea where she is, and everyone is on edge.

Juno is settling well into her new position of V.P. of Operations at SaturnCorp, Inc., and by "settling" we mean a bloodthirsty reign of terror marked by incessant politeness, a removal of all swearing, and loads of pastel colors. The workers start up a new commitee for workplace equality, helped along by Uranus. Ceres brings more quiche.

Eros takes a stroll by himself to get lost, and runs into Sedna. She is instantly charmed by his swarthy, earthy charm, and he is intruiged by her Yeah, thats it.

Ok, so here's the deal: due to circumstances beyond my control, the AstroScene is going to be a weekly thing, as I am more than a little swamped. I am still doing consults (at the moment). The TNO Watch will still be coming out as scheduled.

And as always, go check out my Astro-Crew, found over to the left. They all rock, hard-core.

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