|in your eyes, morbo by Colectivo movimente CCL|
“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” -Paulo Coehlo
So much for feeling stuck, right? It seems like events started moving again, going from 0 to 60 overnight (Which in terms of car speed, is actually insanely slow, but in cosmic terms not so much), and it couldn't have come quick enough! The events of the last two months have been grueling, to say the least- being slowly ground down, like each planet was raking a sheet of sandpaper across your soul an inch at a time, trying to buff out your edges and exposing the flaws.
Well I have some good news and I have some good news; The good news is, the greater part of this process is over, and we are on the other side of the storm (specifically the feelings of being stuck and impotent) - The bad news is that now the real work begins, and you are going to have to put your money where your mouth is. You see, now we have Lilith to contend with, and she is not the one to let you sit back and let life be something that just happens to you, especially not since she is in Scorpio! Your grace period is over and you forgot to cancel your subscription.
This will be an uncomfortable time, especially at the onset with it being Gemini season- You have a conflict between what you THINK you should do and what you actually WANT to do. Lilith will be running around in your subconscious as you try and keep pace in your mundane life, and will buck every attempt you try and make to get her under control- and that is a good thing.
This energy of this year is straight out of Fight Club- No, no, not the obvious "You don't talk about Fight Club" reference, I'm actually onto something here. In Fight Club, the narrator knows he is dying a little more every day, and he is losing himself in the inauthentic nature of his life. In fact, the creator, Chuck Palahniuk wrote the story after he had a fight on a camping trip, and came back to work bloody and bruised- None of his coworkers brought up the injuries to him and their reluctance to get involved in any kind of "messy" personal details or trying to forge any kind of authentic human connection was the inspiration for the book. These last few months have been the equivalent to that camping trip, and now we are coming back to work, battered and bruised. You will be given the same treatment as Palahniuk was given- and it will open your eyes. No one else will care about what is happening to you, they are too wrapped up in their own bullshit. Your isolation will be a boon, even if it doesn't feel like one. You will be made aware of what needs to change, and will not be able to ignore it. You will know what you have to do.
Work with Lilith and she will save your soul. Fight her and she will leave you to rot. She doesn't have time to waste on the unworthy. Show her what you can do!
“We are all born sexual creatures, thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.” -- Marilyn Monroe
Cards: The Devil, 8 of Swords, The Queen of Swords
You will hear me barking about mirrors all of the time. It is one of my favorite topics. We are all little mirrors running around, projecting our issues into the outside world and receiving projections from others. Sometimes we forget where our reflection begins and where the reflections of others end. Unlike a mirror you may use to look at your beautiful face, humans are living, lucid mirrors. We are ever morphing like liquid, filling cracks, reflecting some more, creating labyrinths of the mind - projecting outward and beckoning our deepest, most repressed desires to manifest as people and events in our lives. We take things in - traumatic events or hurtful words people say - and leave a void in the world. This is where Black Moon Lilith comes in with her influence.
Who is the mirror of the moon? Why, that is the Black Moon Lilith. So what the fuck is that? Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all? Why, Lilith gives no fucks about silly questions like that. She is the "evil" queen, aka the wild, self owned woman who kicked Adam in the teeth and bore a bunch of demon babies in some myths. She is not passive femininity like Eve, who is born of his rib and bound to her identity as a subplot of man. No, she is as much of a full being as Adam. She is associated with the dark sexual energy inside all of us that we unfortunately stifle due to the commands from "civilized" society. And then we label those urges a "monster" or "demon." How backwards is that? "Exercise the beast, don't exorcise the beast," goes a famous Satanic saying. You can't ever rid yourself of your primal side, so you better learn how to harness it and ride that dragon.
Nature has no idea what the fuck we are talking about when we say shit like "good" and "evil." It doesn't know "good" and "evil." Nature only recognizes when things are out of wack and a horrible imbalance has crept into the fold. With our actions, we create a pocket or a void in our life. Back to Black Moon Lilith. During this ingress of the Queen of mental darkness, Black Moon Lilith will show us just how tight our blindfolds are. Shackles of various kinds lead to mental blocks that keep us from fully expressing our nature. As the mirror of the moon, Lilith will show us what personality traits we have developed to repress our desires. Scorpio is very heavy handed when it comes to transmutation. Why are you so terrified to change? You know that your job, spouse, whatever, sucks. So why don't you leave? Why don't you severe? Because you are afraid of your own power. Lilith left her position of glory because she did not love Adam and did not want to be his servant, as the Abrahamic god YHWH commanded. That was some big fucking decision... That means she wont take any of your shit excuses anymore.
It's time to change. You feel it in the air, don't you? All of the events the past couple of moons have been gearing us up for our ability to cut through this thick jungle of our mind. We have witnessed deep misery. We have witnessed the power of the cosmos and how we are mere peons when it comes to the force of nature. The "dream" that society gives us is as fragile as glass when it comes to the forces inside of us. Don't fight her. Learn from her. Lilith will crack you open and devour your insides. She is ruthless. Change is inevitable, and that realization alone is enlightening.
Remember what I told you when Vesta entered Gemini? Watch your mind. You lie to yourself as much as you lie to others. Those urges you feel in your gut, what do they say to you? If you do not manifest what you truly desire, the demons in your external world will just get scarier and scarier. And then they will seep back into your brain as anxieties and more trauma and back out like a horrifying wheel of death and destruction. Break that fucking wheel! This Lilith energy is very Kali, the dark dancing Hindu goddess of time, creation, preservation and destruction. She is associated with Shakti energy, or feminine sexual energy that leads to Kundalini Awakening. Creation and destruction are mirrors, and this is an ancient creative/destructive force we are dealing with. The deep, repressed desires inside of you are your way to the light. They only seem ugly because we are reflecting back the tremendous fear that society has for the wild. The power inside all of us is tremendous and boundless. Why wouldn't that terrify a handler?
Lilith knows she was born a Queen, not a slave. Let this lesson pass on. Don't live your life in quiet servitude to those around you. Transform, become one with your desires, let the fucking beast out of the cage. Don't let them use your own mind against you. Don't let them tell you what you want. You know what you want.