Wednesday, July 20, 2011

ASTROSCENE: John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, his name is my name too....

Well, guys its that time again. No, not Starzina's Time of the Month. That's something else entirely. No, its time for me to inform you good people about the various antics going on in Olympus, because its not your fault that your invitation got lost in the mail (trust me, youre not missing much).

Miss Moon sobers up and staggers out of The Fish Bar, suits up and heads back to boot camp, where she runs into Uranus. Catching up at the gym, they decide to head back to Ceres' place to refuel. One home-cooked meal later, they snatch up Eris and they go egg Pluto's house. Not satisfied with this minor mischeif, they head over to Saturn's and Fork his lawn (with actual forks this time). On a roll, they head over to go Spoon the Sun's Lawn, but he catches them halfway through and invites them in for ice cream. Venus hogs all the chocolate sauce and almost starts an international incident. 

Meanwhile, Psyche is driving Mercury up a wall. It started with throw pillows, and he turned a blind eye at the curtains, but when all his books suddenly become romance novels, thats going too far! He starts to look at travel websites to places far, far away.

Meanwhile, back at The Fish Bar, Neptune can't decide if he's coming or going, which is just how he likes it. Getting tired of drinking away his pain and running from his problems, he decdides to go volunteer and get his act back together. He and Chiron plant some trees, and drag Mercury along to keep him from throttling Psyche.

Juno and Saturn continue to cozy up to each other, at a speed that make icebergs look reckless. Pallas and Vesta continue to take on cats; theyre up to 70 now. 

Mars, meanwhile, dreams of better times and questions how he got to this stage in his life. 3 seconds later, he goes for a run because, seriously? Cmon its MARS. The man is not big on self-reflection. He then proceeds to spend the rest of the day admiring himself in the mirror, ignoring 329 texts from Mercury to get him the heck away from Neptune. 

Jupiter and Eros take a break for about a split second to gorge themselves on some haute cuisine. Pluto, still steaming about the eggs and needing to get out of the house, tags along and they wreck the place. Suprising no one, the situation devolves into a giant orgy, getting them all banned for life and owing $98,386.39 in damages. 

Image courtesy of my new favorite thing ever,

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