Monday, July 11, 2011

ASTROSCENE: Retrograde Dreamin'

Ok, so the scene today has all the makings of a classic 30’s movie. The Moon is fed up with the dark noir that was the scene, and just wants to get away and start over in some exotic, foreign land where nobody knows who she is or what she did. Ditching the murder weapon, she hops on a plane to Cambodia to go join a Buddhist monastery with Uranus, who really needs a break. Both fed up with Saturn, they meditate for world peace, drink awful tea, and sweep the floors. Bliss.

Saturn, however, is too busy trying to keep Pluto from engaging in a hostile takeover of his company to worry about such silliness. The embattled C.E.O. tries to enlist the help of Venus, but she is in the Caribbean with her current flame, the Sun. While down there, they bump into Jupiter, who is having a secret fling with Eros. Juno and Psyche have no idea, and if Venus starts spilling secrets now, well, lets just say this one is a gimmie.  She swears the Sun to secrecy, blackmailing him with pictures from last week.   

Mars and Mercury hit the bars, terrifying absolutely everyone. Between fist pumping, backward hats, and one heartfelt performance of "Dont cry for me, Argentina" at least 4 clubs close for good, 6 are condemned, and there is one unfortunate incident involving a musk ox.

Pallas and Vesta are avoiding all of this like the plague. No help from Neptune, as hes is still trying to slink away, thinking that if he puts his hands over his eyes hes invisible, with Chiron galloping after him.

Try not to get caught in the crossfire


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