Saturday, July 23, 2011

ASTROSCENE: Long Live The King

Hail hail, glory be! The Sun is back in Leo!! Thank Zeus, because if we had to do any more time in Cancer I was about to lodge an official complaint with Uranus, where it would be promptly ignored.

Now without any further ado, the AstroScene. The Sun, finally fed up with Venus being a crazy, clingy, passive-aggressive you-know-what, bails and heads back to the Leo Palace, where Mercury has been keeping his throne warm. A shouting match ensues, which Mercury starts just to get a rise out of the windbag, ending with Psyche crying in the corner. Everybody storms off, but the Sun ends up on the throne. Parties are planned.

The Moon meets up with Jupiter and Eros, and they discuss the incident at the restaurant. Pluto mopes in the corner because, nobody understands him, man or some such nonsense. He forks over the cash to fix up the place, and fades into the night. Well, he throws a smoke bomb and runs away. Same thing.

Mars is still holed up in his house, trying to avoid all his exes. The phone rings, and he sneaks a peek... OH GOD ITS VENUS. That one's going straight to voicemail. He calls up Eris and they go paintballing.

Saturn gets ready to execute Phase 48 of his action plan: Buy 1,238 staplers. Tomorrow, Phase 49: Promote synergy (again).

Pallas and Vesta are no help to anyone, but are extremely surprised to get an invite to the Sun's housewarming party. Not able to resist the ensuing drama, they pencil it in on the calendar.

Neptune is volunteering at the soup kitchen this week. Chiron makes sure he showers afterward, and remembers to feed himself.

Ceres resists the urge to yell at Uranus about his hair. Noticing this (for once) he takes care not to break any more glassware. I smell a compromise... Oh wait, that's a muffin from last week. Nevertheless, its a start.

Sedna comes down to console Venus, as she is blaming everyone but herself about her current situation. Having gone through all of her men, and striking out at every turn, she turns to her friends, who promptly kick her out on the curb because she stole all their men. Sedna, however is just happy to have the company. Venus gives her some hair tips, and Sedna gives her some food. Our girl's in for a rough ride.

But all in all, the stage is set for a fun new act. I just hope everyone sticks to the script this time....

Image courtesy of


  1. This is epic :) I love it. Saturn and Venus are giving me all of the nonsense they can. I am looking very forward to playing in Leo land.

  2. Thank you! Yeah those two are a handful, thats for sure! Me too, Leo suits me much better than Cancer hahaha!