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Saturday, December 24, 2011

New Moon in Capricorn- The Longest Night




New day, New beginnings.

The Sun/Moon- Freshly into Capricorn, and hot off the Solstice, the focus is on what is REAL; nothing less will do. A sextile to Chiron has your wounds exposed. While this is painful at first, it is what is needed to heal them once and for all. A sextile to Vesta has you wanting to take time out of the spotlight and focus on inner work. An opposition to Hera puts the srtain on your relationships, and if a new flame isnt really as awesome as you thought at first, it might be best to cut your losses and try somewhere else rather than sit and hope naively. A sextile to Apophis indicates that there is a lot that is in flux at the moment, and you may feel as though you dont have solid ground below you. Tap into that, and direct the change towards what is dated and old.

Mercury- Mercury is still in shadow, so watch yourself til New Year's. If there is anything that has been skimmed over or not integrated yet, you will be forced to deal with that. A trine to Persephone further indicates this, and has you searching for the buried treasure among the muck. A square to Elatus your spirits less than high, but realistic and focused on matters at hand. A trine to Pelion has you wanting to remove yourself from mundane drudgery and wanting to go above and beyond your normal patterns, so break out of the everyday and do something awesome! This is further expressed in a sextile to Magdalena. A conjunction to Ophelia highlights the enhanced proprensity for drama. Get over yourself, and stay low key. A sextile to Amor shows that you are feeling very lovey-dovey, and this would be an excellent time to express your desires. Finally, a sexxtile to Memoria has you rehashing your old mistakes and trying to find the reasons why things went the way they did. Do not get caught up in the same trap, and DO NOT bring your baggage back to the table this time, leave it in the dust behind you.

Venus- Venus is in Aqua, looking awesome. A trine to Altjira shows that the best way to play the romance situation is to stay very cool, and when in doubt, remove yourself from the situation. A conjunction to Siva is fantastic for the destruction of old crap and moving on to the awesome. A square to Requiem tells you to keep pushing on, regardless of if something doesn't work out. Dont linger around in self-pity, brush it off and find something new. A square to Karma highlights the need to take a new path when it comes to your relationships; you may find yourself attracted to those who are completely different from your usual type! Finally, a conjunction to Child shows a certain naivete and optimism in matters of the heart. Remember to keep your head and stay just a little skeptical.

Mars- Mars is in square to Pholus, so taking small steps towards your goals will lead to big results sooner than you think; harness your momentum. With this however, small problems can easily become major issues if not dealt with quickly and effectively. A square to Hylonome could indicate your partner feeling as though you are stepping on their toes, or vice versa. A square to Ixion asks you to examine your actions and how they have brought you to this point. In doing so, your next steps should become clear. A conjunction to Psyche highlights an almost desperate desire to love and be loved. Another conjunction, to Arachne, shows that you must be very clear about your intentions and desires, or risk losing something great in a web of fear and half-truths told because of pride. Yet another conjunction, to Apollo, shows that right now is an excellent time for shameless self-promotion, so put yourself out there! You'll be amazed at the results!

Jupiter- Freshly direct, as of this morning, papa Jupiter brings a much-needed last minute boost in just about everything. An opposition to Aphrodite has you focused (yet again) on love and positivity. A sextile to Hades has you going deep to expose the root of the situation you find yourself in, and taking drastic action to change it to your liking. A sextile to Eurydike further expresses this. If you find yourself in Hell, keep going and dont look back.

Saturn- The ruler of Capricorn is sitting pretty at the end of Libra, and is very active this lunation. Right off the bat we have a close trine to Neptune, helping to make your dreams a reality. A square to Vulkanus shows us that this is not going to be accomplished without some serious blood, sweat and tears though. A conjunction to Apollon is seriously auspicious for any kind of creative work you decide to do. A sextile to Siwa helps you break down all the old patterns that you have outgrown and create something new. A square to Achilles shows that this is the moment where it all becomes worthwhile, and your hard work finally pays off. A sextile to Icarus further expresses this, and helps you bust free of anything that tries to keep you bound and restricted.

Uranus- A square to Hades helps you shock yourself awake, and provides the necessary impetus for your continued growth. Another square, to Eurydike, helps you emancipate yourself from any lingering drama. Remember, when the tears start, you should already be gone. A trine to Atlantis helps you visualize the absolute best possible outcome in your situation, and aids you in making that a reality.

Neptune- Neptune is bearing down on Pisces in force, and is so done with Aqua at this point its not even funny. Now here's the deal- til February, all things Neptunian are going off, as Neptune rehashes and reintegrates everything that we have learned and done since 1998. A trine to Apollon has your muse working overtime, inspiring you to create in was you never dreamed. A sextile to Icarus lets you soar, if only in your mind. Finally, the danger here is highlighted by a square to Bacchus- Have fun during the holiday season, but stay in control.

Pluto- Last, but only least once- Pluto is relatively quiet as we wait for the contact with the Sun later this week. An opposition to Cyllarus has you making stipid decisions in love. Get a sounding board to help you avoid problems. A square to Typhon will bring up anything that you have not dealt with and force the issue. Make it the last time it rears its head. A conjunction to Crantor shows that you are still in the crosshairs because of your choices. Invest in Kevlar. An opposition to Kronos shows that you will need to make some hard choices and take bold action if you want to see results. Finally, A square to Pandora tells us that your life is about to be shaken up, so keep your head.

That does it for me folks! Til next time, stay cool and keep your head, even in the midst of chaos!

                                                                                             Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat
                                                                                             -The AstroGeek


Your song of the Zeitgeist-








Image courtesy of http://www.picturesofwinter.net/scenewinter-4444.jpg

Friday, December 23, 2011

Venus in Aquarius- A Fresh Start





Wait, didnt I just do one of these?? Jeez that girl moves fast!

Ok guys, we're about a week into Venus in Aqua, and at this point you should be feeling it. I want to spend some time on this one because after the insane ride we just took through Capricorn, rehashing old patterns and finding the balls to set new paradigms and put the old ones to bed for good its time to bust out and smash onto the love scene in a blaze of glory!

The key to success for this one is two pronged, but the first thing i want to go over is FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST DUMP THAT #$%@#%ING BAGGAGE ALREADY!!! Since spring of this year, we have been going deep to get rid of every single freaking bit of old drama/crap/baggage while fighting tooth and nail to create a life more in tune with what we really want. Now, one week away from a brand spanking new year, it is time to take everything you learned and rock it out, setting the tone for the best year you will ever have (or the worst one; With Neptune in Pisces its all depending on what you want to create for yourself).

The other part of this is that you cannot doubt yourself in any way, shape or form, not in the slightest, not for one second if you want to capitalize on the gold mine of awesome that this transit can bring. Set your course and stick to it, no matter what. The vibe at the moment is to be simple (as in no issues with past relationships. The expiration date is way past on that crap), conifdent (not smug, just assured), hopeful about what is on the horizon, and oozing awesome.

Aquarius is all about your hopes and dreams, the best possible future; and with Venus rolling through, well the air is downright electric. Its a fun juxtaposition to the grounded, cautious Capricorn vibe that the Sun is in at the moment, having just entered the sign. This is actually really beneficial to the whole scene, as Venus in Aqua does tend to go a bit overboard if left unchecked, so while in Public you are the life of the party, rolling out with bright, shiny sense of hope after the brutal beating we just took, at home your bills are all paid, everything is working, and problems get handled quickly and efficiently. Really, you couldnt ask for better.

Make an investment in your friends and far-flung connections, people that you have lost touch with (especially after New Year's) and re-connect. Right now the focus is on mastering the lessons you learned this year, sharing your experiences with those close to you, and making gains toward your future goals.

A special note to those starting new relationships- Yes, its terrifying and you dont want to mess it up. RELAX and get over yourself; Take a deep breath and go for it! Oh and if you keep overthinking and second-guessing everything you WILL ruin it before it starts.

In short- Relax, dream big and take action for the future while staying grounded in today.


                                                                                       Happy Holidays!
                                                                                       -The AstroGeek





And go check out the fabulous Starzina Starfish-Browne and her always hilarious Time of the Month Horoscope!






Image courtesy of http://www.marketleverage.com/images/skydive.jpg

Monday, December 19, 2011

Neptune in Pisces- Betwixt and Between


Today's image comes to us courtesy of the awesome Thaneeya- Go check her out, she's wicked talented (and super nice for letting me use her art)
Mwah ha ha I finally got a chance to use that title! #pumped

Okay guys, serious Astro time. Neptune is Direct now, at the end of Aquarius, and he is bearing down on his Home sign of Pisces. This is huge, because Neptune has been in Aquarius, behind the scenes since 1998. Til we get Neptune in Pisces (February) we will be going over and rehashing absolutely everything that has transpired since Neptune moved into Aqua. The thing is, right now we are going to be very sensitive to any kind of programming, so be very careful what you watch/listen to.

Another thing you will notice is the Parade of Undead Issues that you have yet to wrap up. This may take the form of lessons in love, where you find your exs' swarming you and crawling out of the woodwork; substance abuse issues that are not fully conquered (note: With ANYTHING Neptunian, avoid substance abuse like the plague!! So much potential for pain there!) or anything that is still an issue, really.

Lending a helping hand in this is Jupiter, turning Direct on Christmas, and Sitting in sextile to Neptune, helping make sure we get this right. Jupiter will make sure we keep everything moving at its highest and most excellent. One side effect of this however, is the fact that Jupiter MAGNIFIES everything it touches, so the issues that Neptune is going to bring up are going to get blown out of proportion and over-hyped thanks to Jupiter's influence.

The key here? Uranus/Mars/Pluto. Uranus' honesty, directness, zest and passion for life, and plans for the future are going to see you through, Mars is making you cut the crap with a machete, and simplifying everything in your life whether you are ready or not. While these two are an excellent combination on their own, we have Pluto obliterating anything that stands in your way, and forcing you to overcome these challenges that are arising, no excuses. With this combination we can make the hard choices and bite the bullet to get what we want, but only if we are 100% honest with ourselves and face the issues head-on.

After Neptune goes into Pisces-That's it! Thats the last major shift we have, and the Outer Planets are going to be in their respective places for a while. Yes, we have Saturn going into Scorp (Cannot Wait!! I loathe Libran fake-ness.) and Jupiter going into Gemini, but that's nothing new. No, after Neptune moves into Pisces, Uranus and Pluto will be in Square and the game REALLY takes off!! But the playing field will be more or less set.

That last bit raises an interesting point: At the moment we have an unparalleled opportunity to shape our personal reality in the fashion that we choose. Everything is up for grabs and within reach, and that is the main theme of 2012. We are really in control of our own lives, and it is up to us to shape them how we choose, not fate. Seriously, do WHATEVER YOU WANT TO!! Nothing can stop you now!



Your song of the Zeitgeist- So freaking perfect, and shamelessly ludicrous 

     

Friday, December 16, 2011

Venus in Capricorn- The Opportune Moment


Alright, so here's the deal- Mistress Venus is in Cap right now, lighting up just about every planet. And with the Eclipse we just had, It seems Love is on everyone's mind. There are a couple ways you can see this take effect (just in General, not using transits to a specific house or planet):

Profound Love- This is the kind of love where you meet someone, and its just like Boom! A punch in the face, you know that this person is seriously special, and you go head over heels, totally sprung. Welcome to the Romance novel, try not to make it a tragedy.

Challenging Love- Mostly for those who are already established in relationships, you may find that the strain of your current relationship is more than you can bear. When you feel this coming on, Stop, take a breath and ask yourself where these feelings are coming from. If there really are deep issues that are in play, consider ending the relationship, but do it in a way that is drama free and do not attack the other person for their flaws. Just move on.


Mature Love- Not in the Hugh Heffner/ (Insert Bunny/Girlfriend name here) kind of Mature, in fact its exactly the opposite. This is a highly personal time, and you are being challenged to be more Realistic and Mature in your attitudes on Love. This is basically Venus saying "Grow Up!". Relationships started now are highly favored for Growth and you will be amazed at how different things will be if you just move past the pain you have from old relationships, and just try to live in the moment and let things be easy (Yes, a Cap transit can be easy! If that wasnt enough, Scorpios can be friendly, and Leos can be shy. These things do happen). Now I know, that is much easier said than done. Currently I am with you guys in this, and I am not ashamed to admit that it could very well be the most challenging thing I've ever tried to do, not to mention one of the scariest.

If that wasnt enough, we have Mars in Virgo cutting through the old crap with a machete, simplifying what he can and tossing out the rest; and Jupiter is in Taurus, about to go Direct. Also not to be outdone, Pluto is in Cap as well, so you can count on whatever goes down, it will change you for the better.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Uranus Direct- The Storm Shepards



Well guys, its that time again; time for everything to get charged up and time to break out and live the awesome. That's right, Uranus is about to go Direct. Are you ready?

I chose the image above because its so perfect for the moment. As everything above you is going absolutely insane and totally chaotic, thats the time when you go into zen mode, totally aware of the chaos' presence in your life, but not allowing it to crack your cool. Reading by Lightning... How Uranian is that?

Speaking of Uranian, we have suspected UFO sightings by Mercury that people are losing their shit over, we have possible interment camps being scheduled to go online the day before Uranus Direct/Lunar Eclipse in the U.S., and a bunch of other craziness that almost makes you go into disaster mode.

The astro is phenomenal at the moment btw, Uranus is still stationing at The Infamous Aries Point, The Eclipse is happening over a point that is going to be very important next year (but we'll get to that in another post), and Jupiter is going to be going direct very very soon (Christmas, actually)

Anyway, as these events progress, we are going to re-engage the Cardinal Cross, with the main event being Uranus square Pluto, exact in June. That is when this really takes off. Saturn is at the end of Libra, not relevant by Aspect, but still an influence by sign, so expect resistance to whatever brand-new schemes you try to put into place, just push through the opposition.

So til we're through, keep calm and crank the dubstep. More details as they arise.

                                                                                -The AstroGeek

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

TNO Watch- Chaos


So... I hear we're getting Visitors from Mercury, eh? You know, this is the type of thing you would think the God of communication would give us a heads up on, but hey, its the Retrograde- I get it; you're a very busy god. You also have rubbish timing Merc, going on holiday now of all times.

Nevertheless, life goes on, and while my minions prepare my underground luxury disaster bunker, I find myself talking about TNOs. Interesting times, no?

The Science: 19521 Chaos is a Cubewano that is not locked into an orbital resonance with any other planet. Its speculated to be about 460 km in diameter. And... yeah thats about all we know about it at the moment.

The Myth: Back to the Greeks for this one: For them, Chaos was the formless void that all life sprang from. Notably, in the Orphic tradition, the first intelligence from Chaos was Eros, shining and powerful. In this myth, Eros infuses passion into all of creation, starting with Uranus and Gaia. And we all know where that brought us, now don't we?

The Astro: Chaos can be interpreted as a smoldering, electrically charged point of infinite potential. Wherever you have Chaos in your chart, absolutely anything can happen. When Chaos get activated by transit, things may seem rather insane, but its actually an opportunity to create something brand new for yourself; You are only limited by your imagination and your passion.

Currently, Chaos is sitting at 14 Gemini, right around where the Lunar Eclipse is happening on the same day that Uranus goes direct, and where Venus bounces back and forth for about 4 months right before Jupiter enters the sign. Surely its all a coincidence though, and its way too small and far away to matter. Surely!

Well, you keep telling yourself that, ill be here in my bunker waiting for the Doctor to show up, sipping mojitos.

Oh, and don't call me Shirley
-The AstroGeek

TNO Watch- Salacia


Well well well, look who has some free time and a whole troupe of TNOs left to talk about (Jeez, they never end, do they? I still have hundreds left, thank the gods they're not named for that they're not named yet).

Jumping right into it, lets talk about one that not many astrologers seem to even be aware of (which is relative, considering that im talking about fringe Astro here) let alone know what she represents- Salacia.

The Astronomy- Salacia is a Cubewano that orbits at a slightly farther distance than Pluto, and has one satellite, named Actaea. Salacia has a very eccentric elliptical orbit, at 0.1097. She has an orbital inclination of 24 degrees.

The Myth- For this one, we turn to Rome. Neptune was courting Salacia, who was quite impressed by her suitor, but for varying reasons rejected his advances. Playing hard-to-get, she ran (read: swam) to the bottom of the Atlantic to avoid him. So the completely-not-crazy god of the Sea sent out some dolphins, and had the dolphin persuade Salacia to marry him. Salacia agreed (some say at the point of a trident) to marry Neptune, and the Sea god was so happy, he placed the dolphin in the heavens as the constellation Delphinus. And they lived happily ever after...kind of

The Astrology- Ok, what do we have to work with here? Well, for starters we have someone who is being chased by something she wants no part of, something way bigger than her, and she runs as far away as she can to avoid it (The Ocean was not part of Neptune's domain traditionally, he was the god of the SEA. The Ocean belonged to the Titan Okeanos. Therefore, he had no power to compel Salacia while she was there). Then a third party (at the behest of the pursuer) intercedes and helps her see reason, and she relents. The problem here is, Astrologically, Neptune rules deceit, illusion, and trickery so this is not exactly a good thing. Finally, after she is married, we find Neptune in his most terrible role: Imprisonment. Salacia is a prisoner to Neptune, always at his side and barely granted any power.

So thats the bad. Originally, Salacia followed her gut, and ran the hell away from the Sea god, to a place he couldnt touch her. She's very smart, and should have stayed there. The thing is, she was a prisoner from the outside influence of Neptune while in Okeanos' realm, trapping her there. The second she had left, she would have been snatched up by him. So she would have been a prisoner either way. She made her choice and chose the lesser of two evils. Better the devil you know, right? She knows her fate, and has a choice, but it is a catch-22 either way. 

Look to these factors when interpreting Salacia's position. Go to astro.com, plug in your birth details and throw caution to the wind by plugging in 120347 Salacia. Currently she is at 26 Pisces.

Full Moon in Gemini/ Lunar Eclipse- Full Disclosure



Ok guys, I am literally writing this right before the eclipse is exact. This is what I get for procrastinating when there is an eclipse in my sign. Syncing to cosmic rhythms, check. Wibbly-Wobbly, Timey-Wimey, Spacey-Wacey universal conciousness mode engaged. Ridiculousness factor? Absolutely.

With absolutely no time for further ado, The Astro!

The Sun/Moon- There is a conjunction/opposition to Hylonome, so right out of the gate you feel as though you cant go on, and you just want your suffering to end. Identify the area of your life where you are suffering, and bring it to a resolution, RIGHT NOW. There is no time to waste. Right now, things seem pretty freaking bleak, but there is so much awesome in the air at the moment, all you have to do is tap into it. An opposition/conjunction to Thereus has you charged up with primal rage, wanting to unleash it on the first person who does you wrong. Remember to keep your true enemies in mind. A conjunction/opposition to Ixion has you brooding on your past mistakes instead of manifesting your future, which sets you up to lose everything that you gained. A square to Astraea has you running from your problems instead of facing them, head on. Another square, to Psyche, strains your intimate relationships and asks you to re-evaluate your commitments. Anything that is past its time, get rid of it. You don't have any room for it anymore. A sextile to Kassandra warns that you could find yourself in a position where pointing out the dangers in someone else's life and situation will do you no good, because it will fall on deaf ears. Trust me, walk away and don't go down with them. A sextile/trine to Lachesis indicates that your time to make changes and set your course is almost up, if you don't move quickly, your choices will be made for you. A trine/sextile to Burney lends itself to your intuition, it is a great time to go deep inside yourself and ask "What do I really want at this stage in my life? What is my next move?" A sextile/trine to Damocles works in your favor for once, allowing you to wield the sword and cut away from toxic situations once and for all. Don't hesitate.

Mercury- A conjunction to Okyrhoe has you watching your tounge, as well you should, because the Retrograde is still in high gear. One wrong word, and you could lose everything. Stay in control. A square to Teharonhiawako could have you questioning whether or not to pursue the path that you set during the last eclipse. Stay focused, and hold off on taking major action until the retrograde is over. Til then, watch, wait and listen. A square to Orcus holds you fast to your word, so make sure you can deliver on it. An opposition to Altjira has you struggling to extricate yourself from a situation you caused, but if you keep your cool and draw your boundaries, you will escape intact. A sextile to Pandora will shake things up with a secret revealed, but for the better. A conjunction to Ophelia (jeez, what is with this literary characters? Oh wait, its Gemini, that's right.) could have you rehashing your disapointments in love, but remember- you took those chances for a reason. Dont let your past mistakes hold you back today, move forward with chutzpah and without fear, while remembering the lessons and hurts.

Venus- Our girl is rocking it right now. A square to Bienor indicates that anything you start now is likely to only be a fleeting dream, but if you hold on and plan for the long term, then you are in a much better position. A trine to Astraea has you at your best, and you are more than willing to wait for life to deliver the best to you. A trine to Psyche helps you overcome the greatest challenges in your situation; no matter what, do not give in- And dont be afraid to ask for help. A trine to Arachne highlights a tendency to be a bit too smug, watch what you say, and if you wind up with egg on your face and you have a way to bow out and save face, take it! A trine to Apollo is brilliant for any type of artistic expression you engage in, dont waste the opportunity! A sextile to Bacchus shows that all you want to do right now is party, remember to get the bills paid on time. A trine to Hephaistos shows that wherever you put your time and effort into right now is where you will see results.

Mars- Our boy has a lot on his plate. First up: A square to Amycus may lead you to forget the way people should be treated, and make no mistake, if your anger gets the best of you, it will not go unnoticed. A square to Chaos shows that you are in control of this situation, and how it unfolds is up to you and the choices that you make. Make them count. A square to Memoria reminds you of how far you've come, taking you back to some places that may be less than pleasant. It's a test, dont forget all your lessons. A trine to Tantalus shows that you may be trying to grab something that will always be out of reach, a fools quest. A trine to Panacea lends some much-needed relief to the situation at hand. Remember that it isnt over yet, however. A sextile to Dionysius helps you rise like a phoenix out of the fire, if you keep your eyes fixed straight on your goals.

Jupiter- Papa Jupiter is back in force, and is not in any mood to be messed with. A sextile to Chiron is so brill for cutting through the crap and getting to the root of the issue. You have to accept it before you can change it. A sextile to Hades also highlights this, as does an opposition to Osiris. An opposition to Requiem tells you that you are a long way from finished, but the end goal is in sight. Finally, an opposition to Hopi has you looking to more holistic and simple ways of living. Decluttering and sustainability are key.

Saturn- An opposition to 1992 QB1 has you pondering your mortality and your mark on the world. Dont worry about your history, just focus on your future. A square to Vulkanus saps your energy away from anything that feels like work. A trine to Vesta keeps you on point though. A trine to Hekate reminds you that this is your path alone, and you are in control of where you go. A sextile to Siwa is great for clearing away the crap of anything outdated or past its prime. Finally, a conjunction to Aphrodite has you chasing what is beautiful, fun and brings you happiness. Dont hesitate.

Uranus- Well look who just went direct! Its time to start moving forward again. This is big guys, as it happened literally hours before the eclipse. He's squaring Hades, challenging you to dig deep and make serious changes, NOW. There's no time for drama or emo attachment, Let it go or it will drag you down. An opposition to Minerva can lead you to make some passionate choices. Make sure you keep your greater strategy in mind. A trine to Photographica lends some much needed instant clarity to the situation at hand. Trust your judgement.

Neptune- A trine to Apollon has you inspired, put some time into exploring your artistic side. A trine to Hekate helps you realize that you do not walk your path alone, you have those who will help you if you only ask. An opposition to Siwa brings you back to reality, and helps you stay on target to deal with your problems.

Pluto- Last but not least, the Lord of Hell is definitely putting us through the wringer guys. That's actually a good thing, because they are in a position where they need to pull out all of the stops to win; and that means we win, we just have to outlast them. An opposition to Cyllarus has you downplaying an issue that might just prove to be your undoing. Tread lightly. A conjunction to Crantor shows that you are still in the crosshairs because of your choices. Invest in Kevlar. A square to Typhon will bring up anything that you have not dealt with and force the issue. Make it the last time it rears its head. An opposition to Kronos shows that the way out is to go deep and Know Thyself. A conjunction to Niobe challenges you to stay humble. Rise above the urge to gloat. A sextile to Diana reminds you that the path to glory is not for those that seek it, but rather those that perform their duty to the best of their ability. A trine to Industria confirms this as well. An opposition to Hera brings up old patterns of jealousy and Power games, stay in Zen mode, and do not fall into the low expression. Finally, a sextile to Ascelpius helps you to diagnose the cause of the dis-ease that you are facing. Heed your own intuition and do what is necessary to cure yourself.

Alright guys, that does it for me, Stay awesome and wear lots of red.

                                                                                 -The AstroGeek



Your song of the Zeitgeist



Thursday, November 24, 2011

TNO Watch- Altjira



Ahhh, Altjira. This is one of my favorite TNO's.

The Astronomy- Altjira is a binary Cubewano (no name for the partner as of yet). Other than that we really dont know a whole heck of a lot about him.

The Myth- Altjira was a god of the Australian aborigine people, the central god who created the earth and Dream-Time. He created everything humans might need (and a whole lot that we didn't) and then retired to the heavens to leave us to our own devices. Oh and for some reason he had the feet of an emu, not sure what that's about.

The Astrology- The consensus with this one is that Altjira seems to represent a blind spot in the chart, something missing or glossed over. Most astrologers seem to regard this as a point of indifference or ennui, but im not too sure that's the case. I have him conjunct my Moon/Mercury combo, and I have a hard time detaching myself from global issuses and problems.

He is described as otiose, meaning impotent or powerless, which doesn't sit well with me either. Again, remember he did create the world, so he is very powerful, and i assume cares deeply about what happens here.

I have also come across a lot of material linking Altjira to the hermetic idea of "As Above, So Below"; or the idea of the global balance, a natural order to life.



Tuesday, November 22, 2011

New Moon in Sagittarius/ Solar Eclipse- A Brave New World



Alright guys, welcome back to Eclipse season. Its all right, we’ve been here before, and we know what to expect. Oh wait, scratch that, this is brand new territory! No map, no clue where we’re going, but we have the stars. Are you ready? You better be, because this is going to be an awesome new adventure. Trust me, this is going to make one hell of a story to tell your kids!

You know how I tend to go on and on about how if you define what you want out of life, and then choose to take it, then you will get it? Well, now its time to put that into action. What happens next is completely up to you, and the potential to make it absolutely brilliant could not be higher. You have an Eclipse, and a Grand Trine to work with here, with the Ruler of the Eclipse (Papa Jupiter) calling the shots as we move into his sign.

We are now officially done rehashing and reliving the old crap, and hopefully you’ve decided to leave it in the past where it belongs, because we are moving full steam ahead into the future. Pack light, you don’t need all that baggage. If you are still trapped in some negative pattern, get out of it ASAP, because this is about to go off.

We’re moving from inner to outer growth now, and you are now armed with all that you learned in the last epic season. At this point, you should be largely impervious to bullshit, and coated with Teflon, so it just slides right off. That’s going to be a major help now, as we move into uncharted territory.

Without further ado, on to the Astro!

The Sun/Moon- Aaah, Eclipses. I live for these things. The pair are conjunct to Okyrhoe, which indicates that the moves you make here and now to shape your life in your own fashion are going to be largely unpopular with those around you. Let them hate, just keep doing you; Stand up for your right to live how you want. A sextile to Atropos shows that it is definitely time to put an end to the toxic crap in your life, and you have reached the end of this set of trials. This is a new beginning. A sextile to Magdalena reaffirms the unpopularity of what you do to those around you, but don’t listen to them. Keep the faith, and keep moving. A square to Industria highlights all the hard work that you have put in, and signals that although you just want to stop, there is still a lot of work to be done. A sextile to Hybris shows that you are definitely feeling your accomplishments over the course of the last 8 months, as well you should. Take care not to let your pride turn to boasting, or Mercury Retrograde will cut you down faster than you can say Niobe. Finally, a conjunction to Sauer shows that you are going to have to make sweeping changes, rapid fire, and with no emo drama. Piece of cake right? Oh, you just shot a hole through the cake. Great aim, Rambina! You got this! What you don’t have, however, is cake.

Mercury- Speaking of Mercury, the Trickster is freshly Retrograde. Click here for a look at this transit. A sextile to Nessus shows that the face you put out to the world, your identity, has become stuck to your skin and is threatening to trap you. The choice is up to you whether to rip it off and step into who you really are, or to let the flames engulf you. Its all or nothing here. A conjunction to Cupido shows that there are those of like mind coming together, a great transit as we begin the Holidays in the Northern Hemisphere. A sextile to Vesta shows that you are focused on pet projects, things close to your heart. This is a great time to volunteer, and help those who are less fortunate. A sextile to Aphrodite further reinforces this, challenging you to blend the desires of your Heart and the desires of your Mind. Finally, a conjunction to Narcissus indicates that this is a great time for self-reflection, but during your reverie, make sure not to fall back into the same old merde.

Venus- Our girl is in full on Wonderland mode, wide eyed and innocent in Sagittarius. New relationships started right now can definitely carry this trend, allowing you to reconnect with your inner child. A sextile to Neptune has you feeling very inspired, and ready to live your vision. You are only limited by your imagination right now. A square to Makemake shows that you are going to have to fight for every inch of progress that you want to make. Keep it classy, stay a cut above the rest, and do not get involved in petty dramas. A sextile to Apollon indicates that there is someone who is trying to catch your attention, but you may be preoccupied with other endeavors. Try not to overlook something wonderful; and if you are that person, maybe try being a little bolder in your pursuit. A sextile to Diana indicates that your really just want to run and be wild. Indulge, but try not to go overboard or it could cost you. This is further indicated by a conjunction to Lilith. Guys, beware the maneaters and Cougars. Finally, a square to Klotho shows difficulty in any new relationships started now, but if you put in the work they will be very rewarding and fulfilling.

Mars- Seriously, how awesome is Mars in Virgo? Its got to be in my top 5 favorite transits. Our boy is trine Pluto and encouraging wicked fast growth. Stay grounded, and you’ll make it through with minimal casualties. A square to Chariklo calls for you to move past your pain and break free of anything that tries to box you in. A sextile to Cyllarus shows the potential to get caught up in pride-related emo drama. Avoid the conflict, but if that fails, do not make the first strike; it will come back to haunt you. A sextile to Kronos wants you to use your phenomenal energy to rise above the mundane crap and chart a course of awesome. Avoid getting caught in the melancholy this transit can induce. A sextile to Eurydike highlights the need to be honest in your relationships, and to have faith in your partner. Giving in to doubt would be catastrophic right now. A trine to Panacea indicates a tendency to just gloss over the problems at hand, rather than deal with the underlying issue. Remember all you learned to get here; go deep. Finally, the one I am excited about: Mars trine Heracles. This aspect is so off the charts perfect for this lunation. This aspect is going to impel you to make the changes necessary to complete the Herculanean task at hand, making your life in your image. The hardest part will be actualizing it. Choose to be awesome, make the first steps outside of your little sphere of experience, and watch the magic happen.

Jupiter- A sextile to Hades challenges our Papa, asking us to go deep and face our issues rather than sit on the couch eating bonbons. A square to Atropos indicates that you are ready to move on with your life, and face new challenges. Don’t let uncertainty stop you. A square to Magdalena will try your faith and your patience, but dont buy into the doubt. A trine to Industria is wicked for helping you stay on your feet, and to keep going when you want to collapse. Watch your gloating with a square to Hybris. A tendency to feel superior is also highlighted. Stay humble. A square to Sisyphus leaves you feeling like this is setting you up for an uphill battle, and it is. It will build your strength even further.

Saturn- Saturn is surprisingly quiet at the moment. He is making a square to Varuna, calling your reputation into question. If you have kept your nose clean, you’ll be fine. A conjunction to Hopi indicates that this is a time to stand up for your rights and fight oppression where you find it.

Uranus- Uranus is less than 3 weeks away from turning direct, and you can feel it in the air. Events are progressing much more quickly (I know, I know- How can you tell?) and the promise of a new life is a tantalizing carrot in your face. Go for it. A square to Hades indicates there is something taking place behind the scenes however. Trust your instincts. An opposition to Pandora shows that what seems like a random, tragic event can actually become an opportunity to become a more authentic version of yourself, and can help you shape your destiny. A square to Niobe indicates you may not notice when you are crossing boundaries, and you may come across as obnoxious and proud to others. Tread lightly. A square to Hekate reaffirms the potential for awesome growth, just make sure you come from a place that is authentic. A trine to Ophelia indicates the potential to get trapped in the old drama games, and if you do it could end up costing you everything. A sextile to Sisyphus rehashes all the old drama, but dont let it trap you. A square to Orpheus tells you how awesome of a time it is for creative pursuits. Anything made now will be well received by the critics.

Neptune- We still have three more months of Neptune in Aquarius. Strive for clarity, and try to move beyond your preconceptions. Neptune is in trine to Apollon, so use the time to pursue creative endeavors. Neptune is also square Hygeia, so focus on taking care of yourself, try not to eat junk or lay around too much. A trine to Diana shows that you really want to escape any attempt to cage you in, so follow your bliss. This is further reinforced with a sextile to Lilith. Try to avoid giving in to your lower impulses, and instead defend your right to choose your own way in life.   

Pluto- A conjunction to Crantor shows that you may still be playing out those old Victim/ Savior or blame games. Stop, because its not going to work in the new game. Take responsibility for your situation, and take the necessary action to change what you want. Pluto is still square Typhon, bringing up all those old demons. Avoid your exes like the plauge, no good can come from them. Easier said than done during Mercury Retrograde, I know. An opposition to Kronos tells you that your path to the top first takes you to the depths of your subconscious. Go deep and find your answers. Another opposition, to Eurydike, further complicates matters by bringing up the damsel in distress game again. It wont get you anywhere, trust me. A conjunction to Panacea indicates that by getting to the root of your problem, you find healing, and every aspect of your life improves. A trine to Karma has you trying to blame Fate for your current situation, but instead try to find the lesson in the struggle. A sextile to Itokawa shows that you are avoiding an issue, and if you don’t face it soon, it might prove to be your undoing.   

Last round, these Eclipses shocked you to the core, and exposed the toxic situations you had been living with for far too long. You climbed up on Pluto’s Rack, and he exposed your weaknesses and showed you your true strength. Uranus stripped away everything you no longer needed; all the crap that you tried to hang onto, and helped you learn how to stand on your own two feet. Saturn ended your tendency to sacrifice for others, and helped you define what you want out of life. This has been one of the most grueling, intense, and groundbreaking transits I’ve ever seen, and you have made it through, and you are absolutely amazing. Seriously, what you guys have shared with me...; your stories have impressed the hell out of me every time. Own it, own how awesome you are. Build yourself up, because now, we’re playing a brand new game.

                                                                                           Hobey-Ho, lets go!
                                                                                           -The AstroGeek

Your Songs of the Zeitgeist-







Image courtesy of http://www.globalcultures.net/worldblog/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/flat-earth-society.jpg


Mercury Retrograde- The Psychopomp


Ok, for starters- You guys are all freaking amazing! Without you guys, it’s just me babbling to myself in cyberspace. Also, in interesting new developments, I would like to formally greet all my readers in Romania- Bună ziua, România!

Now on to the Astro! Next up, Mercury Retrograde. Oh, dont give me that, Its not that bad. All the usual stuff applies, dont sign contracts/make major purchases/entertain the partners from Tokyo blah blah blah, you want that pop astro, go somewhere else, the rest of you, get ready. We’re going somewhere we’ve never been before. Yes, you’ve come a long way, baby- Remember that, because what im about to say will shock you. We are standing at the Gates of Hell. Yes, Hell. Ill give you a minute to freak out.

Better? Good; now here’s the deal. We are standing at the Gates of Hell, like I said. The thing is, we are on the INSIDE of the gate. Let that sink in. We are standing inside of the Gates of Hell, and its time to leave. On the other side is Paradise. First though, we have to prove that you’re ready to leave.

Ladies and Gentlemen, its time to face the Dweller on the Threshold.

What is the Dweller on the Threshold, you ask? Well, here’s where it gets a little technical; According to Alice Bailey- "From ancient recesses of the memory, from a deeply rooted past, which is definitely recalled, and from the racial and the individual subconscious (or founded and established thought reservoirs and desires, inherited and inherent) there emerges from individual past lives and experience, that which is the sum total of all instinctual tendencies, of all inherited glamour, and of all phases of wrong mental attitudes; to these, (as they constitute a blended whole) we give the name of the Dweller on the Threshold. This Dweller is the sum total of all the personality characteristics which have remained unconquered and unsubtle, and which must be finally overcome before initiation can be taken. Each life sees some progress made; some personality defects straightened out, and some real advance effected. But the unconquered residue, and the ancient liabilities are numerous, and excessively potent, and - when the soul contact's adequately established - there eventuates a life wherein the highly developed and powerful personality becomes, in itself, the Dweller on the Threshold. Then the Angel of the Presence and the Dweller stand face to face, and something must then be done. Eventually, the light of the personal self fades out and wanes in the blaze of glory which emanates from the Angel. Then the greater glory obliterates the lesser. This is, however, only possible when the personality eagerly enters into this relation with the Angel, recognizes itself as the Dweller, and - as a disciple - begins the battle between the pairs of opposites, and enters into the tests of Scorpio. These tests and trials are ever self-initiated; the disciple puts himself into the positive or conditioning environment wherein the trials and the discipline are unavoidable and inevitable. When the mind has reached a relatively high stage of development, the memory aspect is evoked in a new and conscious manner, and then every latent predisposition, every racial and national instinct, every unconquered situation, and every controlling fault, rises to the surface of consciousness, and then - the fight is on."

Translated- You have done a lot of work, and made a ton of progress. This is your final exam. Now you are going to come face to face with the embodiment of your fear, and it will be as strong as it has ever been- Exactly as strong as it has ever been, in fact. You, however are entering the ring stronger than you have ever been, and you are more than a match for your fear, right here and now. You are going to stare your fear straight in the face, and Laugh. Because if there is one thing the darkness cannot tolerate, it is being laughed at. Darkness is Fear, which in the end, the absence of Light; which is Joy and the connection to Source. When you laugh at the darkness, you expose its fear, and once you see the darkness’ fear of you, well then your fear dissolves into nothing.  This physical manifestation of your fear is really just a part of yourself that you need to re-integrate into your personality. That’s where it gets Shamanic.

In the Shamanic tradition, whenever we experience a trauma or shocking event, a piece of our soul splits off from the whole soul (Ha! Couldn’t resist, carry on [resist bad carrion joke, resisting…shit. Okay im done]) and when this happens, we need to bring those pieces back so we can be whole. This is usually achieved by the Shaman going into the underworld, a dangerous journey (semi-literally; the Shaman enters an altered state of consciousness, and makes the journey in that state. Then the Shaman does what is necessary to recover that piece of the soul, if at all possible). That brings us back full circle, in my unique and rambling fashion; In the Greek myths (my bedtime stories), technically speaking, there was only one God that could go in and out of the underworld as he pleased- Hermes (a.k.a. Mercury). Hermes is a psychopomp, a god who ferried souls from one life to the next. Originally, the job belonged to Apollo, but Hermes swindled it out of him about 3 hours after being born, because he was bored. To be fair, Apollo didn’t really care for the job, it cut into his lounging time way too much.

Now we know Mercury Retrograde, dont we guys? Forget all that pop astro crap (ok, maybe not all of it. Seriously, don't ever sign a contract during Mercury Retrograde, especially not Cell phones or Cars). Its not just that there is miscommunication, Mercury Retrograde exposes our illusions, and helps us get back to reality. In Saggo, Its all about facing your Fears and limits, and smashing through them with reckless abandon.

Now, back to the Gates; The Dweller on the Threshold, the piece of yourself lost to fear, is standing in your way to Hermes, who is ready to escort you to Paradise. Now this is not the end of our growth, oh no! Count this as the end of this phase (we haven’t even gotten to the eclipse yet!). Like I said, think of this as the final exam. Go back over what you have done this year, and how much progress you have made. Remember everything you have overcome, every painful moment, every accomplishment you have won. Then laugh at the monster; Keep laughing until he shrinks down into nothing. Stand in your strength, and Laugh. Remember- You’ve already gone through Hell.

                                                                               Live Dangerously,
                                                                               -The AstroGeek



Your song of the Zeitgeist-


Image courtesy of http://www.canalsonvenus.tumblr.com

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Full Moon in Taurus- The Nuclear Option



Alright guys, we made it through the first wave of the undead issues. Ready for Round 2? Because you're going to have to dig deep, and go hard to get rid of them once and for all. This is the endgame. You've been through hell, and you are now standing at the gates; Your reward is in sight. Are you ready to finish this?

Sun/Moon- Alright, Sun in Scorp, Moon in Taurus. Chaos is all around, and you are going to need to rise to the occasion and change, fast and furious style, even though all you want to do is sit at home and watch TV. No emo and no drama allowed or you will not make it. Super awesome potential here, but you have to go down and tap into it; which is easier said than done. Sun is conjunct Huya, so making money is a major focus right now. A trine/sextile to Dionysius indicates the desire to shirk your responsibilities and just go and have fun, but there are deeper issues here that may be activated and rehashed if you chose to take that path. A sextile/trine to Child shows that right now, you may not be presenting your most mature face right now, or you may be on the recieving end of this. The big aspect is a square to Damocles, which highlights the sword hanging over your head, watch for out for flowery words, it is nothing but smoke.

Mercury/Venus- These two are joined at the hip at the moment, so we are going to take them as a pair. A square to Elatus makes it hard to stay positive, but it is worth the effort right now. Put on a brave face and keep going. A trine to Pelion has you focused on self-mastery. Keep working on it, it will pay off, very soon in fact. A square to Psyche strains your relationships. If tensions rise, it may be more beneficial to withdraw than to engage in the conflict. A trine to Circe reminds you that you are in charge of manifesting your reality, quit the whining and make it happen already! A sextile to Kassandra indicates that good counsel will fall on deaf ears, dont waste your energy. A sextile to Lachesis indicates that something is coming to an end, dont cling to a sinking ship. A trine to Persephone can leave you feeling removed from the current situation, and feeling as though events are out of your control. Theyre not, own the situation and take control. A square to Apollo is brilliant for putting your energies into creative pursuits, if you can find the time. A sextile to Ascelpius highlights the need to take care of your health first and foremost. Rest, eat right and stay on track.

Mars- Our boy is almost done in Leo, getting ready to roll into Virgo, where he wil be camped out for the next nine freaking months. Enjoy. Personally, I am pumped, because this is one of my favorite transits, and in the Grand Trine being set up... Whew boy, we are in for a ride. Lets call this the return to sanity, after the insanity that has been par for the course lately. An opposition to Chiron makes it very hard to keep your health on track, dont skip your workouts, and take your vitamins. A square to Okyrhoe can lead you to some startling revelations. If you are entrusted with some sensitive information, however, do not reveal it or there may be serious reprecussions! Lastly, a conjunction to Industria bodes well for all of your efforts at the moment; Capitalize on your momentum.

Jupiter- Papa Jup is playing his part setting up the events to come, and reigning in the awesome if you are willing to put in the work. A trine to Sisyphus can leave you feeling as though your efforts are not getting you anywhere, but its all in your head. Keep going. With a trine to Orcus, make sure you keep your word when you give it, or it will come back to bite you. A square to Pallas has your mind firing at full blast, trying to find the most prudent strategy for your situation.

Saturn- Saturn is tired of your shit. Now its about to get real. A square to Varuna shows that your reputation is on the line, so watch yourself. Outside forces may come into play, but since you cannot control that, control your reaction to the situation. A sextile to Niobe tells you to count your blessings, silently if at all possible, so as not to sound boastful. A sextile to Siwa shows that you need to take control of your situation. Nut up or Shut up. A square to Eros lends some much needed life to your love life, but things may not be all that the appear. Be careful.

Uranus- Uranus is a big player in this Lunation. Use him to help you detach from the situation and get some perspective, minus the emo drama. A square to Hades helps you in this, helping you to go deep and purge what needs to go. Dont hold onto it, just let go. A trine to Okyrhoe lends spectacular insight, you have great vision right now. Trust your instincts. A square to Panacea highlights your need to take time for yourself and your health.

Neptune- A trine to Apollon shows that even though you are putting on a brave face, actions that you may be forced to take may not be well recieved. Another opposition, to Industria, shows that your efforts may not be completely ideal, but they are still worth the time. A square to Heracles is sapping your strength, but keep going. Use Mars' vitality instead.

Pluto- Ah, the man of the hour! Starting out, there is a conjunction to Crantor. This may indicate that you are engaging in ego dramas, playing the martyr. If you try to continue on this, Pluto will tear you down so fast it will make your head spin. Instead of whining and saying "Why me?" , man up, look them dead in the eye and say "Try me." A square to Typhon will bring up all of your old demons, rise to the challenge, and put them to rest for good! A sextile to Teharonhiawako gives you everything you need to create your own reality, make it drama free! You have the potential to make your life amazing, do WHAT YOU WANT, and screw anyone who tries to take you down. Deal with them quickly and effectively. A sextile to Juno is putting an end to the toxic relationships that you have put up with up until now. Get rid of them. A trine to Astraea shows you that there will be a return to a golden time, and it will be soon, however to get there you will need to wlak through the fire. Stay focused. A sextile to Terpsichore shows that underneath it all, you are going to be just fine. Take some time to escape, and take time for yourself. Finally, you have a conjunction to Apophis. Break out the big guns, and destroy what stands in your way; obliterate the opposition. Let nothing stand in your way right now; I cant emphasize this enough. If there is even the slightest hesitation, fear, or doubt- Destroy it. From this moment on, we are building a brand new foundation, but we have to do some demolition first, and there is no room for the once-was and has-been.

Stay strong, dig deep, and rally against anything whose time has come. Face your demons, and deal with them completely. This is the moment guys, lets do this, once and for all!!


                                                                           Hoo-ah!
                                                                           -The Astrogeek             




Your Songs of the Zeitgeist-







And, inexplicably, this one which has taken up seemingly permanent residence in my head and refuses to leave.


Saturday, November 5, 2011

TNO Watch: Borasisi


The Science: 66652 is a Binary TNO with an orbital period of 291 years, and 309 days. Its companion, Pabu does not orbit the TNO, but instead they both orbit a fixed point between the two objects.
The Astro: Ok, this TNO is really interesting: Its the only one named after a fictional character. Well, I suppose the case could be made that they are ALL named after fictional characters, but lets not go into that. Actually, lets go into it, because thats exactly what this TNO is all about.

Borasisi is the name of the central figure of Bokononism, a fictional religion from the Kurt Vonnegut novel Cat's Cradle. In Bokononism, Borasisi is the name of the Sun, and Pabu the Moon. The main tenet of the religion is that everything is a lie, and if it doesnt hurt anyone, then what's the harm? The religion is actually forbidden on the sole island that it is practiced, under penalty of impalement on a really big hook (seriously).

This TNO calls into question: What is true? What is real? What isnt? Is there a place for a "fictional" god in the established order? When we hold a mirror up to reality, what will we see? And are we willing to risk our lives to go against the established order and follow what we believe?

To find Borasisi in your chart, go to Astro.com, put in your info and draw up a chart, and enter 66652 in the Extended Chart Selection.

TNO Watch: Rhadhamanthus



Order! Order! Order in the court! If it pleases the court, The Defense would like to call its witness, The TNO Rhadhamanthus. Oh, wait, thats you judge? Well, then I would like to call for a mistrial, as you are our key witness. No chance in hell? Well, then im going to need a minute with my client.

The Science: Rhadhamanthus is a Plutino with an orbital period of 244 years, and 115 days.

The Astro: TNO Rhadhamanthus represents Law and Judgement. Rhadhamanthus was a King in Crete, a son of Zeus. He was said to be very wise, and also just. He was credited with the legal code of Sparta and Crete, and after he died he was rewarded with a posh flat in the Elysian Fields and a job as Judge of the Dead. 

Well thats all well and good, but what exactly does that have to do with interpreting him in the chart? In my experience, This TNO relates to our self-image, how we judge and percieve others, and how we are our own harshest critic. With Rhadhamanthus, we tend to experience an insecurity at the point opposite Rhadhamanthus, and then project that insecurity as judgement and criticism in the house that the TNO is in. For instance, if you have Rhadhamanthus in The Seventh House. That would indicate an insecurity in the way you present yourself and your self-image, and would indicate you tend to play that out in your relationships, which does not end well. 

To view your own placement, head over to Astro.com, draw up a chart, and pop in 38083 and check out where you have your harshest critic.

TNO Watch: Deucalion


Land Ho!! Oh wait, thats just a TNO, my bad.

Well, since ive been kinda slacking on these lately, you guys are about to get flooded with TNOs. Speaking of TNOs, haaaaaave you met Deucalion? Hes kind of awesome, and wicked brilliant when it comes to boats. Just try to keep the rum away from him.

The Science: Deucalion is a Cubewano with an orbital period of 293 years and 240 days

The Astro: Alright so this bad boy seems to reflect a bunch of conflicting ideas, we've got supression of what society doesn't deem appropriate, being innundated, trusting in god, depression, and joy in the face of said depression (i.e- 'staying afloat'). Barrel o' laughs.

Deucalion is the Greek version of Noah, who is the Hebrew version of Utnapishtim. He is the son of Prometheus (Briliant Titan, Created humanity, Stole fire from the gods for us and got chained to a rock with an eagle pecking out his liver every day. No good deed goes unpunsihed.) and was married to Pyrrha, daughter of Epimetheus (Prometheus' brother) and Pandora (hell on high heels). Anyways, the legend goes like this: After Prometheus stole Zeus' fire, the King of Olympus was right pissed, and decided that Humans needed to be punished. Well, to extinguish the fire, He had his bro Poseidon (Neptune to the Romans) flood the Earth.

Well, Prometheus was quite possibly the smartest Titan to ever live (Notice I said Titan. Hermes, I swear to you if you try to get me for that, you dont know what you have coming. [Oh shit, we have a a retrograde coming up. Hermes, please disregard the previous statement.]) and warned his family of the consequences of his actions. Epimetheus didnt listen, but Deucalion did. He built an ark and collected animals together to ride out the flood.

After it subsided, they disembarked onto an empty world. Themis, the Titaness of Prophecy and Wisdom appeared to them and told them to 'veil your heads and throw the bones of your Mother behind you', and then disappeared. Well, im assuming they waited around trying to figure out what the hell she meant by that for a couple days, before somehow Pyrrha came up with the idea of putting on a veil and throwing rocks behind their heads. The ones thrown by Pyrrha became women, and the ones thrown by Deucalion became men. And so they repopulated the world, using rock-people.

So, what have we learned from this? Well, besides the fact that the Greek Myths are absolutely bonkers (and thats coming from a Greek), Deucalion is Badass. He survies the destruction of his world, his family ripped to shreds, and is responsible for keeping the Human Race alive. Not bad for a day's work, no?

Head on over to Astro.com, draw up a chart, and pop in 53311 to check out where you have tough-as-nails, badass father of humanity Deucalion.