“We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.” -Terry Pratchett
Sorry for the delay everyone, this was one I wanted to make sure I got right. Also, Im looking for a new personal assistant (don't ask what happened to the old one. Honestly, never hire anyone just because they look fantastic in swimwear. Odds are they dont have a head for details.), so if you know anyone
insane capable enough to work with me, have them email their resume, recent headshot, birth details and full medical records to me. Your lingerie uniform will be provided. Oh, and we offer dental.
Anyway, so here's where we stand- Its an eclipse in Scorpio, and its amplified by a ridiculous (even by my standards) chart. So lets roll up our sleeves and get into it, shall we?
You have two choices here. You can either A) Let this eclipse happen to you, in which case you can close this site right now, because we don't want you up in here, or B) You can tap into it and use it. How do you do that, those who chose option B and didn't storm off in a huff will ask; Ill tell you what- Its by just acknowledging you feel like ass, aren't satisfied, and getting your ass into the game. Its understanding that there is more for you to do. Thats when the magic happens; that one moment when you refuse to be done. Its going down to the depths, getting crushed, and right before you surrender for good, you push one last time against the weight that is trying to destroy you once and for all, and with everything you have, you throw it off your back, screaming out in frustration and victory.
To get there however, you have to do this part first. The crap part where you get crushed, inch by agonizing inch as your strength drains away. Or does it? Ask any gym rat, to build muscle and gain strength, first you must tear it down. Its only by rebuilding the torn tissue that you gain the hypertrophy (i.e.- Big strong muscles). This is working the same way. While you're building yourself up, it hurts. Training sucks at first- but you keep at it. Then one day something curious happens; You start to enjoy it, look forward to it even.And it pays off; You have visible results that everyone can see.
Of course, that is Scorpio at its best....
So without further exposition, lets roll up our sleeves and get to it, shall we?
Mercury- I'm not even trying to acknowledge my ruler right now. Shit is ridiculous. Still, its important this go around (rolls eyes) so I will soldier on. A square to Neptune rounds out the T-Square in my chart making me want to go into a feral rage, but for the rest of you lot, watch out for little omens and messages coming from seemingly all directions. Carry around a little notebook, and take note of stray thoughts that turn out to be genius insights. Oh, and if you're not doing it already, journal your dreams. A sextile to Makemake shows that you will need to fight for what it is you want and prove that you should have it, even though you feel as though you barely have any fight left in you. A trine to Vulkan helps with that, but you need to put all of your focus into that pursuit, and stop wasting time and energy on everything else. Develop tunnel vision. A conjunction to Astraea tells us that something important that left you could make a surprise reappearance, and when it does that means that a new chapter is underway for you. Go with it. A square to Isis warns that this may not be the easiest transition however- Much will be asked of you, more than has been asked before if you can believe it. Still, the rewards are most definitely worth it.
Venus- Our girl starts out with an opposition to Eris, indicating that there is something terribly wrong, but you cant quite put your finger on it, because you're trying to avoid dealing with it. I understand- who wouldn't? But you are going to have to take a deep breath and look it square in the eye so that you can make it right. It wont be easy, but you need to do it. A conjunction to Haumea tells you that doing so will lead you to the birth of something brand new and amazing. But you have to get off your ass and put in the work to do it. A quincunx to Pallas Athene shows that you are going to have to make some adjustments to your strategy and your approach if you want to achieve this. Honor both diplomacy and tactics, intelligence and desire and you will win. A sextile to Cupido tells you to set your sights high. Helping others right now helps your aims in unexpected ways, so reach out. A square to Helio has your hope very low, and you need to remind yourself why you set out this way in the first place. Remember what you have tried to forget. A sextile to Ixion and Hylonome warn you against making a rash decision that will hurt you more than help. Keep your desire (and your pain) in check. A trine to Vesta and a sextile to Juno help you stay on target, but it still has to come from you.
Mars- Our boy is wrapping up his stay in Saggo, and after he moves into Capricorn I will be very relieved, let me just tell you. Him being in my Solar 7th house is just plain exhausting! Anyway, We start out with a quincunx to Admetos and Vulkanus, indicating that you are investing too much energy into a wasted effort. An opposition to Thereus confirms this, telling you to surrender. You know its not going anywhere, so why do you keep trying so hard? What do you have to prove, and who are you proving it to? Move on. A sextile to Apollon and Psyche tells us that your mind is on your several romantic prospects, but has one broken away from the pack? Is it one you already know so well? Time will tell. A trine to 1992 QB1 suggests that maybe its time to put your energy into a new endeavor, something you've never tried before. Break out of the cycle you're trapped in. A square to Logos and Urania tells you to avoid looking at the big picture, focus on the small details. Also, if you want to make big picture changes, you have to start with the small stuff. A trine to Hekate helps you understand that if you want to make those changes, now would most definitely be the the time, but you are the one who is going to have to make the moves. Show that you want it. A sextile to Lilith confirms this, indicating that you are going to have to get your hands dirty to get anywhere.
Jupiter- Papa bear is still Retrograde. Enjoy it while it lasts, guys. A square to Borasisi tells you that right now everything is very nebulous for you, and a lot is unclear. If you move forward one step at a time, without having the whole pattern spread out in front of you however, you will amaze yourself at how far you can go. Try believing for once. An opposition to Hidalgo indicates that your most strongly held beliefs will be challenged and tested now. What you have been waiting for is coming to fruition NOW. Like it or not, this is your harvest. A trine to Amor shows that right now, romance is all that is occupying your mind, or it sure feels that way. Don't lose sight of whats important while chasing skirts. A sextile to Askalaphus says that if you are stuck, try some honest candor. It might just be the catalyst that sparks a serious change.
Saturn- The old soldier is just all systems go in Scorpio! A quincunx to Uranus tells you that you are having some difficultly reconciling your past dreams with the present reality. Maybe its time to let go and come up with a new dream, yeah? One that fits you better? A trine to Chiron shows that either way you go comes with a hefty side of pain and angst. Try to keep this to a minimum if possible. A sextile to Eros and Pluto tells you that when in doubt, follow your passion, whatever stirs your soul (and listen when that long dead hope comes back for that fleeting moment!). A trine to Ceres, Hades and Kronos tells you that if you do not honor yourself by taking the time to maintain your life (i.e.- eating right, working out, sleeping, taking breaks) it will cost you dearly. Don't push yourself too far. A quincunx to Lilith tells you to grow some stones, step up and do what you need to do. Work with what you have around you and get dangerous. A sextile to Orcus demands that you focus on how far you have come and not on what you have left behind. You cant forget where you have been, however- otherwise you'll end up right back where you started.
Uranus- A square to Eros gives you a much needed jolt back to reality. Use it to get back on track. A quincunx to Orcus helps you do this, and allows you to do it on your terms. Its time to purge what is no longer worth keeping around. you guys know the drill here, swift and no angst. An opposition to Sisyphus confirms this- Drag it out at your own peril. A sextile to Lilith and Atropos declares that the situation is now intolerable, and drastic change is necessary if you plan on seeing this through. A square to Ceres, Hades and Kronos warns against not doing this correctly- If its not authentic, down to your core, it will fail. So make sure that you know that what you're doing is right.
Neptune- Finally direct, we can start making some progress again. Or we can just stay in our Opium den and see where that gets us, either way. Lets see, what haven't we covered yet? Well, a trine to Ceres, Hades and Kronos has you questioning the once-firm ground you have built your new foundation on. Is it structurally sound or will the building start sinking like that tower over in Pisa? Would it be better to just demolish it and start again? These are questions you need to answer. A square to Astraea warns that these answers may not come just yet, and when they do it may not be an easy road forward. A trine to Apophis confirms this, stirring up trouble in the interim.
Pluto- And we come to the Ruler of this Eclipse, last but not least. The problem with Pluto is that by the time we get to him, we've already covered everything. Luckily the dread god always has a trick or two up his sleeve... Starting with a conjunction to Eros, deep passions are stirring in you- Power is Sexy. Make sure to channel these urges correctly. An opposition to Ceres, Hades and Kronos tells you that you are going to be asked to choose between two conflicting desires of yours- try to work them both, or at least one at a time. Rule nothing out just yet. A sextile to Chiron confirms this, telling you that avoiding this is the surest way to cut yourself off at the knees. A quincunx to Lilith and Atropos and a square to Bacchus indicates that you are going to need to decidedly choose not to give in to some of your baser urges in lieu of progress toward your goals. Make your rewards for little victories count. A trine to Eurydike and Achilles confirms this, and tells you that you must not hesitate, and you must do whatever is necessary to accomplish your aims. A trine to Phaethon indicates you are on the main stage right now, with everything you do clearly visible. Watch yourself. Finally, a sextile to Orpheus helps you smooth over some of those ruffled feathers that you have shaken up lately if you only reach out to try to mend those burnt bridges. Make the effort.
Hellraisers, this is a big one. Do it right, and you'll be in a better position to take control of your life and achieve your goals than ever before. Do it wrong however, and you will find yourself being scraped over hot coals in your own personal hell. It seriously all depends on your choices right here in this moment.
But then again, when doesn't it?
A Posse Ad Esse
As always, go check out the amazing Starzina Starfish-Browne whose Fabulosity is such that I can see rainbows three states away. She has this thing that she does called Starzina's Time of the Month Horoscope and it would make me ever so happy if you check it out and show her some love, so do that.
Your Zeitgeist Playlist: