Astrogeek: OKAY SO! This is one of my famous shotgun posts, as this
shit snuck up on me somehow, and now you get me writing my balls off, half-drunk
at 2:41 in the morning- Full disclosure. *sips bourbon*Great start to 2016,
Astrogeek, classy as shit like always…
This sure as shit doesn’t feel like a new moon, no siree… This is halfway
between a full moon and an eclipse. This is a test. You have to prove your
mettle on this one y’all. So, again I ask you: WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT? You
have the power to make anything come to fruition that you want, but only that
which you put work into. Your effort and willpower will define this stage.
Sure, you may DESIRE certain things like a new relationship or a bigger bank
balance, or peace on earth; but you cannot get the first one if you're going out
every night and trolling hookup apps, and that is doubtful for the second, but
its entirely possible that you have invested in a company like Lockheed Martin,
and therefore are a war profiteer, and probably have a decent bank balance! See
how my clumsy metaphor barely makes any sense? That’s the Astro talking, I
think. Either that or I need to stop doing bodyshots off of strippers….
And we all know THAT’S not going to happen!!
Anyways, wherever you focus your efforts, you will see growth and change, BUT anything
that you are not willing to actively work toward, you might as well ignore. Because
there is no cavalry coming- It’s just you, standing alone against the horde. Your
strikes will count, but you have to swing your swords for that to matter! You
have to show up to the battle, you have to be in the trenches! Most of 2016
will follow these rules- You’ve been skating by far too long, now you actually
need to nut up and put your money where your mouth is! Morrigan Dervishi: Oh boy oh boy, this year is already starting out... fun. It's 2016, folks. Let's break this down: New Moon in Capricorn Tarot Spread
Sun - 9 of Cups Moon - 4 of Cups Mercury - 8 of Swords Venus - 9 of Pentacles Mars - Ace of Pentacles Jupiter - Queen of Swords Saturn - 8 of Cups Uranus - 8 of Wands Neptune - 8 of Pentacles Pluto - The Emperor
The 20th card of the tarot is called JUDGEMENT and the 16th card in the Tarot is THE TOWER. That sets the tone for this year. Our world structures are about to EXPLODE and the Capricorn new moon is making us completely jittery about it. What? Structures? Exploding? Nightmare words for Capricorn, and Capi's nightmares are surely on our mind. We have Mercury, the Sun, the Moon, and Pluto are all in the sign of the devil goat. We want to build. We want to make something out of all of this, but it looks like we are getting a lot of interference from Uranus, Mars, and Neptune right now. Uranus is 8 of Wands in my reading, meaning he wants us to know he is back in full swing and plowing through everything. Do not forget where he is coming from. Who's pointing the Uranus laser beam gun right at all of our Capricorn dreams right now? Aries. Blood god energy. But he's got a formidable opponent.
The Sun, Moon, Chiron, Uranus, Pluto- UGHHHH NO. More self-reflection,
more old pain drawn up, and more bullshit flashpoints and losses that are
completely beyond your control, but eventually seek to move you to a new
era/arena of life. Beware of zombie romances. Old news. NEXT!!!!
Morrigan Says: For this beautiful vortex of a new moon in the sea goat, I pulled the card 4 of cups. The 4 of cups is all about moping around, and that's exactly what this new moon energy is dragging us to do. Woe is me! I don't have any of my shit together right now! Shit is exploding around me and I don't know what to do! Yeah, it's screwed up, but this card also reminds us that everything isn't futile. Stop crying over spilled milk and look into your heart. You're disillusioned by everything around you because it's all going to burn soon. It's cardboard houses, so light your flame already. Deep down, at your core, you have always known what it's really about, so stop giving your energy to the powers that be and rise to your own power.The sun in this reading is in the 9 of cups, which is also called the wish card. It looks like Capricorn is really what we want right now, so we need to stop fighting it. Don't let the delusions get in the way. Remember, ground that Neptune. Pluto is represented by the Emperor in this reading (which is associated with the sign Aries itself), wielding his transformational power over everything right now. Pluto is larger than life AND IN CHARGE! He is powering us up. Telling us where to go. There is a lot of power right now in taping into his energy, and he is rallying everything around him. You might not THINK you have the power (Mercury IS in retrograde after all), but you've definitely got the power. You're in charge. Stop building what they want you to build and start building for YOURSELF. Capricorn is challenging us to start climbing the mountain, baby, but we have a lot of shit just holding us down. We can't even get over the foothills because we are in such a panic. What a troubling feeling. I know, I know, just end it already, jeez. 4 of Cups is traditionally associated with moon in cancer energy, so it looks like we're being a little sensitive right now. Get up. Get out. Let's go. This is your queue not to get buried in all the bad energy going around. Stop thinking that some white knight is going to come and rescue, because they are not. Uranus will shoot them out of the sky before that friggin happens. Power up that goat devil energy we have in our weapons kit right now, and slice through this shit!
Mercury Retrograde, Pallas Athene- Second verse, same as the first…. NEXT!!!
Morrigan Says: Poor little Mercury doesn't seem to be doing so well. I pulled 8 of swords for him, which is literally interference. Traditionally, this card is depicted as a woman standing in a circle of swords wearing a blindfold. She thinks she is surrounded, but there is an open path in front of her if she either A. removes her own blindfold or B. makes the leap of faith and just moves forward already. Makes a lot of sense for Mercury retro, doesn't it? We're scattered and we have no idea that the opening is literally in front of us. Mercury is literally sitting on whatever the answer to our question is right now, and it seems to all have to do with Capricorn.
Venus, Saturn, Black Moon Lilith- Oh for fucks sake…All of your old tricks will suddenly reappear
and then promptly kidnap you, expecting a lifelong commitment right off the
bat. DO NOT ACCEPT, they’re the same old crazy bitch that they have always
been. Also- save yourself, the damsel in distress trope looks bad on all of us.
NEXT!!!
Morrigan Says: Venus is in 9 of Pentacles, meaning more grounding. We need to nourish our relationships before they rot and kill our anxieties and kill our blindfolded Mercury right now. Stop taking things out on those around you. Nourish them. 9 of Pentacles is Venus in Virgo energy, so we need to really pay service to our relationships right now. Help build for them. Saturn is 8 of cups, meaning we need to leave behind all the things that aren't benefiting us and those we love right now. This card can also mean some profound realizations our coming our way. He is reminding us that yes, we quite literally are walking away from the delusion right now and striding into the things that truly matter.
Mars, Neptune, Juno and Vesta- Finally, something that I can use; Unfortunately,
I covered this in the intro. You will need to make decisions, right here and
now as to how you want your future to take shape. You will need to make
sacrifices. It will hurt, and nothing is a sure bet. Make your choice NOW, and
stick to your guns. You CAN DO THIS. *takes drink break*
Morrigan Says: The TOWER (card 16) is ruled by Mars, who seems to be playing an important role this year. I pulled Ace of Pentacles for him, meaning he is the root of all of our trouble right now. There is no way we are getting around him, and we have to deal with his is "my way or the highway" attitude. He's in Scorpio right now, his ancient ruler, so he's essentially a blood soaked barbarian coming out of a battle terrifying poor Mercury.For Neptune I got the 8 of Pentacles. Prudence. We need to ground right now and take daddy Capricorn's lessons seriously. He is using Pluto to blast away these Neptunian delusions, and I think, by golly, it might just work out for us. The cards are urging us to really earth our ideas right now. They are saying root into something that's real so you can come down from the clouds, come down from all of the anxious energy around us, and start building your kingdom. 8 of Pentacles is all about grounding and working and building your dream from the literal earth. Get serious. So, let's bring all of those daydreams we have been stuck in to the light and take advantage of our super charged Capricorn abilities right now.
Jupiter, All the remaining minor planets including ERIS and some such
nonsense- Look, Jupiter is retrograde in his most hated sign,
Virrrrrrrrrrrgo. This doesn’t bode well for anything. Shit sucks, not just for
you. We all have dreams and goals. Do what you can, when you can; and when you
can’t, bide your time. Plot. Coil up to strike. You will get your chance but
you may have to take a leap when the ground is falling out from under you and
the only place you can jump is on fire. These things happen. Jump anyway.
Morrigan Says: Jupiter is Queen of Swords. Slice through, baby, luck is on our side. This is like pulling the sword of time out of the stone. We've got the power! Our abilities are inflated, and we can get to the heart of the matter. She is the dragon woman, ready to use her emotions and her intellect as combined weapons. Like a motherfucking vortex. Jupiter's storm is going to pummel anything that comes in our way. Go, little goats, go! If this world is going to burn down around us, we are surely going to build a new empire on the rubble. One that is true and from the heart. The planet of philosophy and higher thinking is urging us to find truth and justice and use it as a weapon. The Queen of Swords is associated with Libra. This is our charge.So go, go go! We can do this. We've got devil goat energy and we are really sitting on the throne. Let's just take these blindfolds off and fight some real battles instead of battles with ourselves and those who love us.
“We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.” -Terry Pratchett
Sorry for the delay everyone, this was one I wanted to make sure I got right. Also, Im looking for a new personal assistant (don't ask what happened to the old one. Honestly, never hire anyone just because they look fantastic in swimwear. Odds are they dont have a head for details.), so if you know anyone insane capable enough to work with me, have them email their resume, recent headshot, birth details and full medical records to me. Your lingerie uniform will be provided. Oh, and we offer dental.
Ladies and Gentlemen, er... sorry, I mean Hellraisers, fuck this shit. For real. From what i've been hearing from you guys, it sounds like I'd be hard pressed to find anyone to argue the point. But don't you worry your black little hearts- Your good buddy Astro is going to explain everything. But its your job to read between the lines and pick up on the subtext...
Anyway, so here's where we stand- Its an eclipse in Scorpio, and its amplified by a ridiculous (even by my standards) chart. So lets roll up our sleeves and get into it, shall we?
You have two choices here. You can either A) Let this eclipse happen to you, in which case you can close this site right now, because we don't want you up in here, or B) You can tap into it and use it. How do you do that, those who chose option B and didn't storm off in a huff will ask; Ill tell you what- Its by just acknowledging you feel like ass, aren't satisfied, and getting your ass into the game. Its understanding that there is more for you to do. Thats when the magic happens; that one moment when you refuse to be done. Its going down to the depths, getting crushed, and right before you surrender for good, you push one last time against the weight that is trying to destroy you once and for all, and with everything you have, you throw it off your back, screaming out in frustration and victory.
To get there however, you have to do this part first. The crap part where you get crushed, inch by agonizing inch as your strength drains away. Or does it? Ask any gym rat, to build muscle and gain strength, first you must tear it down. Its only by rebuilding the torn tissue that you gain the hypertrophy (i.e.- Big strong muscles). This is working the same way. While you're building yourself up, it hurts. Training sucks at first- but you keep at it. Then one day something curious happens; You start to enjoy it, look forward to it even.
And it pays off; You have visible results that everyone can see.
Of course, that is Scorpio at its best....
So without further exposition, lets roll up our sleeves and get to it, shall we?
The Sun and Moon- Right then, eclipse mode. Well, we start out with a quincunx to Eris, so the challenge is having the courage to honor the part of you that just wants to tear everything down that isnt working, chucking all your junk out of the window and the part that wants to slow down and plan out a viable escape plan that leaves you much more well off then if you just charge in. You will need to make several adjustments in order to keep these two conflicting, yet similar desires in check and in balance. A trine to Pallas Athene fires your brain on all cylinders, which is something you desperately need. Don't just throw away your plans if you hit a snag though- stick with it, and work out a solution. A square to Nessus shows that you are feeling very toxic, as though your very soul were being poisoned and ebbing away, bit by bit. I strongly urge you to identify the cause of this, and resolve it immediately (within the next 6 months). An opposition to Sedna shows that you are holding on desperately to something that you need to release. I know how painful the idea is and that you think if you let it go, you are killing what you feel is your only way out (trust me, I know), but you're blinding yourself to the options that you are being presented with! You have alternatives, and you are so not done yet! Pick yourself up, pull your head out of your ass and quit wallowing in self-pity. Its time to get your game face on. Besides, lingering is sooo not sexy, and sexy is the everything right now. A trine to Helio helps you here- Remember this? Reread it, and then come back here- Go ahead, ill wait. Now you really need to put this in action, and do it NOW. If you are willing to put these lessons into action, and remember who you were right before it all came crashing down, when you were at your greatest, then I promise you, you will find that you will find what you're looking for. Oh and start smiling a lot more- none of those fake, snide smirks either, only the genuine article. A square to Siva indicates that you may have to fake it at first, but do it long enough and it will become real without you even noticing. Just focus on being happy, no matter what. That's what got you to there in the first point, isn't it? An opposition to Sphinx demands that you cool your heels and stop railing at the universe to make thing happen NOWNOWNOW. Your enthusiasm and vigor are acknowledged, but these things take time and you are not helping. What is out of your control is not to be acknowledged. A conjunction to Tantalus is dangling what you want in front of your face, but it is just out of reach and its agonizing. A sextile to Hera tells you to find something to distract you from what has you all wrapped up- put some distance between you and it.
Mercury- I'm not even trying to acknowledge my ruler right now. Shit is ridiculous. Still, its important this go around (rolls eyes)so I will soldier on. A square to Neptune rounds out the T-Square in my chart making me want to go into a feral rage, but for the rest of you lot, watch out for little omens and messages coming from seemingly all directions. Carry around a little notebook, and take note of stray thoughts that turn out to be genius insights. Oh, and if you're not doing it already, journal your dreams. A sextile to Makemake shows that you will need to fight for what it is you want and prove that you should have it, even though you feel as though you barely have any fight left in you. A trine to Vulkan helps with that, but you need to put all of your focus into that pursuit, and stop wasting time and energy on everything else. Develop tunnel vision. A conjunction to Astraea tells us that something important that left you could make a surprise reappearance, and when it does that means that a new chapter is underway for you. Go with it. A square to Isis warns that this may not be the easiest transition however- Much will be asked of you, more than has been asked before if you can believe it. Still, the rewards are most definitely worth it.
Venus- Our girl starts out with an opposition to Eris, indicating that there is something terribly wrong, but you cant quite put your finger on it, because you're trying to avoid dealing with it. I understand- who wouldn't? But you are going to have to take a deep breath and look it square in the eye so that you can make it right. It wont be easy, but you need to do it. A conjunction to Haumea tells you that doing so will lead you to the birth of something brand new and amazing. But you have to get off your ass and put in the work to do it. A quincunx to Pallas Athene shows that you are going to have to make some adjustments to your strategy and your approach if you want to achieve this. Honor both diplomacy and tactics, intelligence and desire and you will win. A sextile to Cupido tells you to set your sights high. Helping others right now helps your aims in unexpected ways, so reach out. A square to Helio has your hope very low, and you need to remind yourself why you set out this way in the first place. Remember what you have tried to forget. A sextile to Ixion and Hylonome warn you against making a rash decision that will hurt you more than help. Keep your desire (and your pain) in check. A trine to Vesta and a sextile to Juno help you stay on target, but it still has to come from you.
Mars- Our boy is wrapping up his stay in Saggo, and after he moves into Capricorn I will be very relieved, let me just tell you. Him being in my Solar 7th house is just plain exhausting! Anyway, We start out with a quincunx to Admetos and Vulkanus, indicating that you are investing too much energy into a wasted effort. An opposition to Thereus confirms this, telling you to surrender. You know its not going anywhere, so why do you keep trying so hard? What do you have to prove, and who are you proving it to? Move on. A sextile to Apollon and Psyche tells us that your mind is on your several romantic prospects, but has one broken away from the pack? Is it one you already know so well? Time will tell. A trine to 1992 QB1 suggests that maybe its time to put your energy into a new endeavor, something you've never tried before. Break out of the cycle you're trapped in. A square to Logos and Urania tells you to avoid looking at the big picture, focus on the small details. Also, if you want to make big picture changes, you have to start with the small stuff. A trine to Hekate helps you understand that if you want to make those changes, now would most definitely be the the time, but you are the one who is going to have to make the moves. Show that you want it. A sextile to Lilith confirms this, indicating that you are going to have to get your hands dirty to get anywhere.
Jupiter- Papa bear is still Retrograde. Enjoy it while it lasts, guys. A square to Borasisi tells you that right now everything is very nebulous for you, and a lot is unclear. If you move forward one step at a time, without having the whole pattern spread out in front of you however, you will amaze yourself at how far you can go. Try believing for once. An opposition to Hidalgo indicates that your most strongly held beliefs will be challenged and tested now. What you have been waiting for is coming to fruition NOW. Like it or not, this is your harvest. A trine to Amor shows that right now, romance is all that is occupying your mind, or it sure feels that way. Don't lose sight of whats important while chasing skirts. A sextile to Askalaphus says that if you are stuck, try some honest candor. It might just be the catalyst that sparks a serious change.
Saturn- The old soldier is just all systems go in Scorpio! A quincunx to Uranus tells you that you are having some difficultly reconciling your past dreams with the present reality. Maybe its time to let go and come up with a new dream, yeah? One that fits you better? A trine to Chiron shows that either way you go comes with a hefty side of pain and angst. Try to keep this to a minimum if possible. A sextile to Eros and Pluto tells you that when in doubt, follow your passion, whatever stirs your soul (and listen when that long dead hope comes back for that fleeting moment!). A trine to Ceres, Hades and Kronos tells you that if you do not honor yourself by taking the time to maintain your life (i.e.- eating right, working out, sleeping, taking breaks) it will cost you dearly. Don't push yourself too far. A quincunx to Lilith tells you to grow some stones, step up and do what you need to do. Work with what you have around you and get dangerous. A sextile to Orcus demands that you focus on how far you have come and not on what you have left behind. You cant forget where you have been, however- otherwise you'll end up right back where you started.
Uranus- A square to Eros gives you a much needed jolt back to reality. Use it to get back on track. A quincunx to Orcus helps you do this, and allows you to do it on your terms. Its time to purge what is no longer worth keeping around. you guys know the drill here, swift and no angst. An opposition to Sisyphus confirms this- Drag it out at your own peril. A sextile to Lilith and Atropos declares that the situation is now intolerable, and drastic change is necessary if you plan on seeing this through. A square to Ceres, Hades and Kronos warns against not doing this correctly- If its not authentic, down to your core, it will fail. So make sure that you know that what you're doing is right.
Neptune- Finally direct, we can start making some progress again. Or we can just stay in our Opium den and see where that gets us, either way. Lets see, what haven't we covered yet? Well, a trine to Ceres, Hades and Kronos has you questioning the once-firm ground you have built your new foundation on. Is it structurally sound or will the building start sinking like that tower over in Pisa? Would it be better to just demolish it and start again? These are questions you need to answer. A square to Astraea warns that these answers may not come just yet, and when they do it may not be an easy road forward. A trine to Apophis confirms this, stirring up trouble in the interim.
Pluto- And we come to the Ruler of this Eclipse, last but not least. The problem with Pluto is that by the time we get to him, we've already covered everything. Luckily the dread god always has a trick or two up his sleeve... Starting with a conjunction to Eros, deep passions are stirring in you- Power is Sexy. Make sure to channel these urges correctly. An opposition to Ceres, Hades and Kronos tells you that you are going to be asked to choose between two conflicting desires of yours- try to work them both, or at least one at a time. Rule nothing out just yet. A sextile to Chiron confirms this, telling you that avoiding this is the surest way to cut yourself off at the knees. A quincunx to Lilith and Atropos and a square to Bacchus indicates that you are going to need to decidedly choose not to give in to some of your baser urges in lieu of progress toward your goals. Make your rewards for little victories count. A trine to Eurydike and Achilles confirms this, and tells you that you must not hesitate, and you must do whatever is necessary to accomplish your aims. A trine to Phaethon indicates you are on the main stage right now, with everything you do clearly visible. Watch yourself. Finally, a sextile to Orpheus helps you smooth over some of those ruffled feathers that you have shaken up lately if you only reach out to try to mend those burnt bridges. Make the effort.
Hellraisers, this is a big one. Do it right, and you'll be in a better position to take control of your life and achieve your goals than ever before. Do it wrong however, and you will find yourself being scraped over hot coals in your own personal hell. It seriously all depends on your choices right here in this moment.
But then again, when doesn't it?
A Posse Ad Esse
-The AstroGeek
As always, go check out the amazing Starzina Starfish-Browne whose Fabulosity is such that I can see rainbows three states away. She has this thing that she does called Starzina's Time of the Month Horoscope and it would make me ever so happy if you check it out and show her some love, so do that.
Deer Lord (Praise Cernunnos), this is where I feel I need to slink off to right about now. This Mercury Retrograde would be hell enough on anyone, but to throw it in with Saturn in Scorp, the Uranus-Pluto drama, Mars-Jupiter shenanigans, AND a superpowered eclipse? Holy Hell, Hellraisers- This time Neptune might be the one thing that sees us through.
Lets hope we can trust him.
Anyway, yes Neptune is now officially direct. Pay attention, Hellraisers- This is where the fun starts. Dreams get cosmic, and carry potent messages on swift wings. Omens abound, and black cats start crossing your path in droves. The trick is figuring out the message while you can. Quite often you can only put it together after its much too late to make a difference. But that's the way these thing go, I'm afraid.
In other ways, this can feel like waking back up after a long nap in the Sun. The important thing is realizing you were, in fact, dreaming- and now its time to get back to reality. Done incorrectly however, this is more akin to an insomniac who is working 60+ hours a week and getting nowhere. If this is you FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE YOURSELF OUT OF THE GAME! Rest up, you're going to need it. This is Eclipse season, and there will be no prisoners taken.
As always with Neptune, I caution you not to overdo it with the boozing or drugs- especially with Jupiter Retrograde. This time however, im giving you an out. Anything used for actual, real self-work and discovery and not for escapism is super potent right now*. But use caution. Its much better to dry out with Saturn in Scorp, trust me.
Speaking of, you know that niggling voice in the back of your head that is keeping you up at night? Well there's only one cure- Put the changes its suggesting into action. Trust me, you'll be so glad you did. Also, you know that pain you're feeling right now? Yes, right now as you read this line. Oh, dont give me that shit- you cant hide it from me. Anyway its going to be with you for a while. Work on it, drag it out from the shadows and face it- work on healing it. Accept what you cant change and start changing what you can. Planning only though- no action till after Mercury goes direct again.
Oh, one last thing: You're going to want to give up. Don't.
Hellraisers, we're in for a hell of a ride. Hang on, and slam on the gas pedal.
-The AstroGeek
*(AG Skywatch Legal Note- For the love of... Not this bullshit again! sigh AstroGeek's Skywatch does not endorse, reccomend, or condone recreational drug use or any other form of substance abuse. All indications to the contrary and statements issued are merely intended to entertain, albeit poorly. Somebody get us out of here, we havent showered in weeks and the food is absolute shit. We do get good dental, though, but that hardly covers it. Anyway, dont sue us- We dont have any clean suits, the bastards too cheap to pay for dry cleaning.)
God you really cant take me anywhere anymore. A simple night out with my family becomes a raucous bacchanalia without warning, and the discovery is made that I have multiple fan clubs. I have no idea who any of those people are but they sure as hell know me! New rule- always go out on the New Moon and never ever ever on the Full Moon. Or was that already a rule? Not sure, its gone all timey-wimey and im rambling.
Round 2, Ladies and Gentlemen. Get your game face on.
So, Jupiter Retrograde, huh? Jesus, somebody pour me a Valium martini and lace the rim with Vicodin, Papa needs to take the edge off.
Last time we checked in with Jupiter was when he got sick of plodding through Taurus and entered Gemini. Since then, he has had to deal with Venus stealing his thunder with her Occultation (that transit of the Sun everyone was on about) and he had to put up with her for an extended stay to boot! Well, hes soldiered on, and has made it about halfway through the sign (incidentally, right where Venus put on her show, give or take a degree) and is ready for a bit of a break. So he's going Retrograde.
God help us.
Jupiter intends on making this difficult for us, guys. The challenge is going to be whether you can make it through without falling back on those old habits that you used to think were the only way to survive, or if you can use all of your shiny new skills and knowledge to succeed. And in Gemini? Yeah you are going to have to hustle if you want to make it. Its time for you to start living on your wits again; nose to the grindstone isnt going to cut it alone anymore.
You're going to need to have Faith in order to see this one through. Faith in what, you ask? Well, you're going to need to have faith in yourself. I know, it sounds trite, but bear with me. Look at where Gemini falls in your chart if you know it. The area that represents in your life is where you are going to need to do to the max. For me, thats going to be the Sixth (and Fifth) House, so fitness is going to be key to my success (and later on, unleashing my personal awesome).
Anyway, wherever this transit falls, Jupiter is going to stretch and pull that area of your life until it is suitably awesome. You will need to call on it and use it more than is comfortable, but as long as you do it correctly, at the end you will have achieved more than you thought was possible.
