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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Saturn Retrograde: The Cold, Hard, Bitchslap of Reality


Oh sweet zombie Jesus/ Most holy Vishnu/ Hail Satan; It's time for THIS again??? Great, I get to have two more Saturn Square Saturn's. Oh happy day!

Alright guys, already ennui stricken Saturn is about to go Retrograde, and I hope to whatever pagan god you pray to that you've done all the homework and kept your nose clean, because Hell hath no fury like Saturn scorned. He will cut you off at the kneecaps and leave you there to rot.


However, if you've done all the work, and saved your cash/ hit the gym, this is like a vacation for you. Just keep going with your routine, and all of a sudden, its actually starting to get easier! You start to see results, and Saturn smiles on you.

Do: Track your debt-to-income like a fiend; Eat very, very well; Keep an eye out for what is working in your life and what needs to go; Keep up with your workout regimen; Take time out for yourself, and do something alone that helps you conquer the world (its awesomely cathartic).

Do not, under any circumstances: Go boozing it up every night, no matter how much Neptune blows up your phone; Do any unnecessary spending; Take any shortcuts re: Health, Wealth and Happiness; be tempted by the barrage of tempting sweets that seem to barrage you only when this comes up for some reason.

And when all else fails, go skydiving!

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