Om mani padme hum.... Om namah shivaya.... Om vakratunda mahakaaya suryakoti samaprabha nirvighnam kuru may deva sayrva kaaryeshu sarvada....
Oh hey didn't see you there. Don't bug me, i've almost got moksha; come back in 39 years... Om shri kali kayai namah...
What? You're still here? Fine, I suppose you're wanting me to talk about astrology. Well too bad, I don't do that anymore. Now, i meditate on the mysteries of our mysterious universe. I think i've almost figured it out; the answer has to do with mangoes. Now go away, you're seriously harshing my zen. Om shri ram, jaya ram, jaya jaya ram...
.... ....
You're still sitting there, aren't you? Thought so.
Alright, fine. Astrology it is then. Lets see, where are we...? *checks diary* Have we done Jim the Fish yet? No? Saved the cheerleader? Ok, way past that. Sorry, it all gets a bit confusing after you realize time is just an illusory construct....
Oh here we are: Mercury in Aquarius. Whew buddy.
Ok, so the lay of the land: Mercury is considered to be exalted in Aquarius, so he (most of the time) loves every second of his travels through this sign. If you're paying attention, you'll realize that Saturn and Venus are ALSO exalted at the moment, but we'll deal with them later.
In Aquarius, its like already cracked-out Mercury gets hooked up to a Tesla Coil. Think total brain upgrade, which is slightly unfair considering that he just had to struggle through Capricorn. So we go from fighting for every inch of progress, right into all systems GO!!!!
There is a downside to this, however. As any astrologer can tell you, Aquarius is famous for its detachment from mundane issues to focus on matters that are more... cosmic. Also, any kind of emotional crap or drama game is bound to fail miserably, as it just does not work in Aqua. It just gets ignored.
So, how do you navigate this transit? Well, for starters, get out and go blow off some steam. Its been a rough couple months, and its not going to get any easier. Next, if you need an escape, go meditate for a while. I know its tempting to go for your favorite drug of choice, but you really dont want to try to do this time under the influence with Neptune still in the mix. Leave that to the less aware, victim types. You have greatness waiting.
Carry on the theme of making great strides towards your dreams, small steps made often wins the day (especially with Mars in Retro). On that track, you may find that you are just drained of any energy whne it comes to what you've been doing lately. That's your cue to try something new, something that you've always wanted to but never got around to (or that you used to love but have not had any time to do anymore).
Key here is working toward making progress without focusing on the results. Detach now, and watch how easily you succeed. Let your haters spur you on instead of drag you down, and know that the more you have, the bigger the effect you are having on life. Change is not going to happen overnight, so keep going. Trust your gut, if you have any sudden flashes ofd genius, follow them and see where they take you.
Now get the hell out of my Ashram, I have some serious contemplation to do.
Om yatra yatra raghu nada keerthanam, thathra thathra krudha masthakanjalim, bhashpa vari pari poorna lochanam, maruthim namatha rakshasanthakam....
Ahhh, Aquarius- how we've missed you (like VD...). After the long climb to the top that is Capricorn, we are finally in Aqua. Happy Chinese New Year!! Its the year of the Black Water Dragon, and how fitting is that for the start of Aquarius (The Waterbearer)?
This is a mega-auspicious time to start anything; and the bigger and more daring, so much the better. Dream big, Dream freaking HUGE! Now is the time to be blasphemously audacious and screw anyone who dares to stop you (haters gonna hate). By this point, you should have hyper-simplified your life, ramping up your efficiency by 110%, thanks to Capricorn (and Mars in Virgo) so there really shouldnt be anything holding you back. Reaching your goals is the name of the game, ladies and gentlemen, and by God (Hail Satan) im going to make sure we all get there in one piece.
Settle in, because we're just getting started!
The Sun and Moon: We start the show with the Sun and Moon both freshly into Aqua, so the air is positively electric. Helping us to dream (and live) bigger, we have a square to Jupiter, pushing us forward, full steam ahead. Another square, to Phaethon, reminds us to stay in control and keep our feet on the ground, lest we crash and burn due to our own pride. And...wait, that's it?? Really?
Mercury: Give me something good guys... Jackpot! Still in Cap, we have a trine to Mars, ramping up your energy leve, and helping you get your ass to the gym to keep up those resolutions (keep going, it'll all pay off when we get to Aries). An opposition to Varuna tells us that there is something brewing behind the scenes, but it's not time for it to make a move yet, so hope for sun but plan for rain. A square to Rhadamanthus helps you put a discerning eye to those big dreams that you have, and helps you leave behind what isnt working anymore. A sextile to Salacia indicates that you need to get your head and heart in sync here, and quit fighting yourself. Quit putting off your decision; Pick a path and see it through to the end. A trine to Sedna tells us that we might need to take ourselves out of the limelight to make sure our needs are met and so we dont get distracted from our goals. A sextile to Diana confirms this, telling you to go outside and get some fresh air to clear your head. A conjunction to Hygeia highlights this as well, adding in the caveat that you need to eat right, stick to your workout and take your vitamins. A square to Isis may have you using some unorthodox ideas to get what you want, don't be afraid to go against conventional wisdom. An opposition to Achillies shows that you will be tested, and your weaknesses will be highlighted, so you can be aware of them. Try to avoid any verbal spats, you will look like the villan.
Venus: Bolting through Pisces, Venus is very active this period. First up, we have a square to Chariklo, so right now you may not have the most active social life, but that's a blessing in disguise. Don't worry about those that you're leaving behind, they'll do just fine for themselves. An opposition to Elatus has your mood down in the depths, but if you keep going and don't let that stop you, you'll find out that your life can be pretty awesome if you want it to be. A square to Okyrhoe has your mind going full blast to try to figure out what lies ahead for you and where your path will lead. Try not to worry about it, and move forward as best you can. Like I said before, be audacious. A trine to Deucalion shows that you are reconnecting to your inner mettle, and you will need every bit of that in the days to come. A trine to Poseidon shows that you are riding some stromy seas, but remember that calm seas make shitty sailors. An opposition to Eros shows that right now, you have to do what you are passionate about, at the expense of all else. If it doesn't light you up like a Christmas tree, then it ain't worth your time. A sextile to Icarus shows that is is high time to emanicpate yourself from bullshit. Let nothing hold you back. A trine to Hopi shows that you can find the answers that you're looking for in the natural world, spend some time working with crystals, getting accupuncture, etc. A square to Ascelpius further indicates this. Don't push yourself too hard. Take a mental health day if you need to. Finally a sextile to Itokawa is shining favorably on any new relationships initiated at this time, lending you the courage to get up and walk over to that person you've been eyeing across the bar.
Mars: About to go Retrograde, our boy is wrapping up some unfinished business. By the way OHMYGOD 6 MORE MONTHS OF MARS IN VIRGO!! We will perservere. A sextile to Varuna shows that your efforts may find the best outlet if action is taken behind the scenes. Pretend you're a secret agent (Mars loves that game). A square to Quaoar is highlighting the need to put your efforts into something creative. An opposition to Salacia shows that you may be caught up in playing the victim and all sorts of other drama. Get it out of your system NOW. A trine to Sedna indicates that you may be putting too much work in trying to bring back a lost cause; Let it go. A sextile to Diana shows that you want to go out and wreck some s^%! just to blow off some steam. Try to channel it into more constructive efforts. A square to Photographica indicates that you are under some scrutiny right now, and what you do counts. Look the part, and dont do anything stupid. A sextile to Achilles will help strengthen your resolve to achieve your goals. Tap into the awesome!
Jupiter: Jupiter is moving forward in Taurus (Finally!) and the key is harnessing momentum. Start small, and dont stop for anything. A sextile to Kassandra inidcates that the future that you see might not be what will actually come to pass, stay on your toes and don't burn any bridges. A conjunction to Phaeton does not help with this, as the kid just wants to gogogo and actually is trying to burn down your bridges. So yeah, watch out for that. A sextile to Dionysius tells us to- all together now- STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THE BOOZE!!! Another sextile, to Hermes, calls on you to keep your wits about you, because you're walking through a veritable minefield. Avoid bailing on everything, you might miss out on something good. A sextile to Lachesis AND Atropos shows that you are reaching the end of this cycle in your life, and a new one is about to begin. It will be just as awesome as you make it. Remember guys, you are in control here!
Saturn: Still poisited at the end of Libra, Saturn is in a sanguine mood, reflecting on everthing that has passed since he entered Libra. Its been a wild ride, but its not over yet, ohno! We still have one more round to go guys. A sextile to Neptune is, yet again, compelling you to take constructive, serious action to bring your dreams out of the clouds and into reality. A trine to Hades reminds you to make sure you have your affairs in order and aren't slacking off to go have fun at your own expense. A conjunction to Apollon could work against those efforts though. Keep on the path, and dont wander off (its Rule #1). An opposition to Sisyphus can have you wondering why you are putting so much effort into this, as you are not seeing much in the way of results. Trust me, if you keep at it, this WILL pay off.
Uranus: Now that we are back in Uranus' territory (thank the gods!), we get a little more room to have fun! As he is still on the Aries point, kicking up trouble, Its time to start a little bit of your own. That's right; you lot have been good and patient up until now, and I am giving you permission to go crazy. Do whatever it is that you want, just make sure it doesn't take you back past where you want to be. Uranus is conjunct Ceres, so again, take care of yourself first. In Aries, that tends to show up as "Get your ass to the gym and beast it out" type of caring. A sextile to Panacea tells you to explore some new modes of healing, like going to a holistic practitioner or naturopath. A square to Dionysius tells us to... oh, you know by now.
Neptune: At the very end of Aqua, Neptune will test you on every. last. thing. you have learned in the last 14 years. And no, its not an open-book kind of test, its the kind where Neptune throws you back through all the same situations that you escaped (or didn't), fast and furious style. I hope you kept the study guide... Well, there's a trine to Hades, so you can bet that you're going to go real deep on this one, and have to deal with all those old issues and lessons, and they will be exactly as strong as they were last time. What you have to remember is that you are much, much stronger than the last time that you faced those issues. A trine to Apollon tells us that you are going to feel as though you're fighting the Hydra; whenever you cut off one head, two more grow back. Use Hades' fire to cauterize the wound so they dont grow back (i.e.- deal with the issues head on, no drama, and dont allow yourself to be trapped again). A sextile to Sisyphus again makes you feel as though your efforts are in vain. DO NOT GIVE IN TO THAT THOUGHT. Use Jupiter's blinders (Taurus is famous for its ability to keep plugging away, never being distracted or moving off the path) and you'll be fine.
Pluto: Typhon is still in square, so you still are in the arena with the old monsters. Keep taking them down every time they get back up. A square to Minerva has you rethinking your grand strategy, and putting a more tactical approach into play, a la Mars in Virgo. A trine to Industria shows that yes, working hard and saving money actually is the way to get what you want now. Just make sure to get those mental-health days in. A sextile to Aphrodite shows us that there is some seriously weird love mojo in the air at the moment, keep your cool, and explore some new paths in romance. This can also play out as a really long dead and buried relationship rising from the grave, but you guys still have your combo shotgun/chainsaw/bayonet from The Annoyingly, Frustratingly Undead, right? Finally, last but not least (unless Aphrodite has something to say about it) we have the conjunction to Heracles. Your labours are not yet done, Hero. Keep pushing forward, and let your name build up to become a legend.
May You Live in Interesting Times
May You Find What You're Looking For
-The AstroGeek.
Now go watch Starzina's Time of the Month Horoscope or ill throw you into the lemur pit.
Your songs of the Zeitgeist (Oh, dont even worry about it; I got you on that Aquarius, mah dude!)-
Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the funhouse. That's right, Lady Venus is officially in Pisces! And seriously, how perfect is the idea of a Mermaid for this? In Pisces, Venus is said to be "Exalted" or performing especially well. It fits because its a sign where she feels right at home.
Lets talk about Venus for a minute. In the myth, Venus (Aphrodite) was born when Saturn castrated his father and threw his genitals into the sea. They foamed up, and Venus rose from the tides. Now the thing is, Venus would technically be the last Titan, but is always strictly defined as Olympian, even though she predates the Olympians by an entire age (the actual year count is a bit wonky...)
In the sky, Venus is posited between Neptune at the end of Aquarius, and Chiron at the beginning of Pisces. So we have delusion and inspiration, love and beauty, and old pain. That couldnt possibly be a recipe for destruction, now could it? Nooooo, not in Pisces....
Remember the baggage from when Venus went through Aquarius? Well, now that it's gone, expect it to come up from the depths and demand to be dealt with, ASAP. Yeah, Venus is a bitch like that, deal with it. Expect shrapnel.
Now that I have you good and scared, lets talk about the potential here: One thing that this can be (if you let it) is absolutely magical. Now i say this as seriously as possible. If you let it, this transit could change your life in ways that you never even imagined. Follow any hunches or gut instincts that you have; decisions made on a whim could pay off immensely, or leave you broke and despondent. That's just the way Pisces goes, im afraid. There's always the danger that anything taken on faith could turn out to be nothing but smoke. Also (im getting sick of saying this) AVOID ALCOHOL AND DRUGS AT ALL COST!!!!!
Ok, so your plan of attack: Pisces demands that you reflect, and go over what has happened in your relationships; what has worked and what hasn't. You know how i've been demanding that you deleverage the drama, and obliterate anything that is holding you back? Hold on to that. This is the part where you are honest with yourself, and you own up to your life, as it is. Anything that has the slightest tint of illusion or any kind of gameplaying WILL DESTROY YOU. It is toxic right now, keep everything you do, 100% above board and on the level.
Now, if you have been good little boys and girls, then you know that the main focus has been defining your goals to live your life the way you want to. Well, this is your moment guys, this is where you move from thinking to doing. Take it one step at a time, and do WHATEVER IS NECESSARY to get what you want.
One hazard: If this involves going back into a toxic situation that you recently escaped, in order to build up the resources that you need for these big dreams that you have; a word of caution. Tread lightly, because this is not the greatest idea. Keep your eyes peeled for better options.
Use your judgement and discretion, but keep a wide-eyed, innocent outlook and this transit will be amazing. Stay stuck in old methods and pain and you will drown in your own self-pity. Its up to you in the end, so why not let it rock?
Ah, the Moon in Dignity. Gotta love it. Time to check in with your emotions, see if they're in tune with your goals and your progress. This is the first Full Moon of the year, and it will help to close out 2011, so we can get on with 2012!
The Sun/Moon- All is rather quiet on the Lunation front this time, there is a sextile/trine to Diana, the goddess of the Moon and the wild. Indulge your hippy side for a while, and screw anyone that tries to judge you for it. Oh, and to keep everything balanced, there is a trine/sextile to Apollo, reinforcing the Solar vibe. Draw, paint, act sing, do anything, as long as its inspired.
Mercury- Fresh out of Saggo, he strolls into Capricorn like he owns the place. This would be an excellent time to focus on your career, and if you are thinking of switching jobs (or going for that promotion) now would most certainly be the time. A trine to Jupiter has you brimming with optimism. Keep those Resolutions front and center, and capitalize on your momentum. A square to Uranus may have you hesistant to starting anything new and different however, but it is a great time to get back to basics and optimize your results. A sextile to Chiron has those old wounds finally starting to heal. Now's the time to focus on setting a tone for the rest of the year, and moving past the hurt and drama. Adding to this is a conjunction to Icarus, showing that right now the answer is to be teflon-coated and the second things start getting dramatic or too restrictive, GET OUT IMMEDIATELY, waste no time on emo crap.
Venus- Its a mixed bag for our girl at the mo'. A square to Juno puts a definite strain on relationships, and this might be an impetus to break it off, if the situation is toxic or there are constant power struggles. A square to Terpsichore puts you back out in the game if you have been sitting on the sidelines, helping you put yourself out there and have a little fun. A conjunction to Atropos shows that you are not taking any crap right now, and situations that are long overdue for closure are put to a swift and sure end, no drama. A sextile to Narcissus shows that you may be too concerned with surface issues to realize what is actually happening in the background, and this could prove to be your undoing. Semper Fi guys, but stay open and optimistic. Oh and watch out for Ixion- a sextile to the Love-Stealer shows that its all too easy to lose what you have to someone who just shows up out of the blue, when you least expect it. If this does happen though, do not chase or fight, I promise it will not go well.
Mars- Boy oh boy our boy is active at the moment. A trine to Asbolus has you focused on the future, and figuring out what it holds for you and yours. Stay alert, and keep a questioning mentality. Avoid alcohol (Seriously, it'll make you lose sight of your goals and take you down a bad road right now). An opposition to Salacia tells us that you are stuggling between head and heart; the right thing vs the smart thing. Choose wisely. A trine to Sedna shows that you are feeling like there is something missing or lacking in your life. Identify what it is and do what you need to. A trine to Niobe has you feeling quite proud of what you've accomplished, and has you resting on your laurels. Watch for boasting and gloating. Finally, a square to Hekate has you advancing along your path quite nicely, keep up the good work!
Jupiter-Not a ton going on with the king of the gods, at the moment. Still at 0 Taurus, the focus is on treating yourself. A trine to Icarus has you dreaming big dreams, possibly to escape to some exotic locale. A square to Tantalus could have what you want just out of reach, however. Finally, a sextile to Hades has you still focused on finding the root of your obstacles and cutting them out at the source.
Saturn- Poised at the end of Libra, Saturn is very active. A trine to Neptune has you laying the foundation to build the life of your dreams, keep at it, and dont allow anyone to sabotage your efforts. If you need to escape from the limelight to do this, so much the better. A conjunction to Apollon shows that at the moment you cant see the forest for the trees, and you are drowning in the details. Do one small thing each day, and watch how easily the good stuff manifests. A trine to Hera is great for commitments at the moment, whether they be in business or in love. A square to Orpheus warns against hiding your desires, and inventing reasons to deny them.
Uranus- Still at the Aries Point, Uranus has us all hopping, and if you tap into his vibe, you'll be amazed at what you can accomplish! A square to Hades has you wanting to move past the toxic situations that have held you back, and start writing a different script. A square to Icarus again brings up the idea of breaking free of anything that is holding you back, and finding anything that's not 100% genuine to be intolerable. A sextile to Tantalus has you yearning for something, but be careful that it might not be all that it seems. A trine to Ascelpius tells you to take care of your health, first and foremost. Eat right, exercise, and get that apple a day.
Neptune- Neptune is pushing ever onward back to his home sign of Pisces, and til he gets there everything feels like its in flux, a constantly shifting labyrinth that may or may not have a way out. A trine to Apollon has you wanting to get out there and create something awesome. Like I said before, it doesn't really matter what you do, as long as you use your creativity to do it! A trine to Hera may bring up some aspectrs of your relationships that haven't been dealt with yet, like an ex appearing out of the blue, making bold declarations of their undying love for you. Remember, they are your ex for a reason, but, that being said, the heart wants what it wants.
Pluto- Alright, im taking up a petition to rename Pluto as Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All (20 points to anyone who gets the reference without google's help). A square to Typhon brings up those boogeymen from the closet, ask yourself, what do they want? Why? Why does that scare you? You may be surprised at the answers! Also, a therapist would be very helpful in identifying these things with you. A sextile to Vesta has you focused on your spiritual practice, but dont lose sight of the mundane matters in your life. Gotta pay the bills! A sextile to Hopi has you looking to the natural world for your answers regarding your questions and indecision. Take some time, go outside and clear your head. An opposition to Askalaphus shows that right now, your ideas might be rather unpopular, and may spark some conflict. When all else fails, withdraw gracefully. Last but not least, a conjunction to Heracles has you ready and willing to undergo the Herculanean task that you are staring down right now. That aspect is seriously awesome, and still valid for a while. Its time to get going; There is no limit to what you can do!!!
Living in Interesting Times,
-The AstroGeek
Go check out friend of the site Starzina Starfish-Browne and her Time of the Month Horoscope to make up those points you lost by not knowing Stormageddon.
And yes, that just might be the best screenshot ever!
Note: Big changes are coming up this year for the site, and ill have more details on that as it comes.
Your beats of the Zeitgeist (very Hadean mix this time)-
Ah, Ixion- The Love-Stealer. This one holds a special place in my heart, as we share a birthday, and is rather prolific in my chart.
The Astronomy: Ixion is a Plutino, with a very similar orbital period to Pluto, only about a year shorter. He is one of the largest asteroids in the solar system, at 950 miles in diameter.
The Story: Well, this one is not a pretty story. Ixion was one of the first kings of humanity, and a son of Ares. He was in love with a woman named Dia, and was planning on marrying her. To avoid paying a dowry, he murdered his father-in-law by throwing him into furnace, committing the first murder in greek history. He wandered the earth, cursed by all who saw him, marked by his crime. After pleading with Zeus, the chief god decided to pardon Ixion.
To thank him for his graciousness, Ixion immediately tried to seduce Hera, Zeus' wife, and Queen of the Gods. Zeus created a copy of Hera out of a cloud, named Nephele, and Ixion took the bait. From their union came most of the Centaurs (the exception is Chiron, Son of Kronos), a rowdy and wild bunch, to say the least.
Why He Matters: In your chart, Ixion represents where you flout the rules, take bold steps and commits some seriously heinous deeds. Its a monstrous part of you (funny how that keeps coming up with these guys...) and not exactly easy to integrate. Every time Ixion is activated, the choices that you make will be your downfall. When you least expect it, it all comes crashing down.
To find him in your chart, hit up Astro.com, plug in your birth info and under the extended options put in asteroid 28978 (or ask your friendly neighborhood astrologer!)
Currently, Ixion is at 18 Sagittarius and in sextile to Venus and Pallas Athene, square to Psyche.
Happy freaking New Year everybody! And what a year its going to be! Are you ready?
We start out fast and furious, pulling no punches. The Moon rockets into Aries, guns blazing, to meet up with Uranus, shooting off a display that would put this picture to shame. We walk through the fires of Sun/Pluto, which burns away all the old crap, doubts fears, and baggage left over from 2011, leaving us unscathed and filled with a new, burning sense of purpose. If that weren't enough for you, we also have Mercury, blasting out of Shadowzone, still in brazen, bold, and downright awesome Sagittarius, leaving us with a sky full of Direct planets.
Yeah, this is about to be one hell of a ride. Full speed ahead!
With the exception of Neptune, all of the outer planets have finally settled down some, and are in the positions that they will be in for the new cycle and Neptune will get there next month. The focus moves from initiation to harnessing momentum to achieve results. Smash through all obstacles that dare to stand in your way!
So, without further ado, the Astro!
(Guess what? I get to make up the rules as I go on this one, so lets try something new!)
[And oh yeah, that's pretty much the theme for the year in a nutshell, by the way.]
Emotional- Pack light, because while 2011 was all about identifying the crap and learning the lessons from it, 2012 is all about chucking the trash and ditching the baggage. 2011 was great about putting us back on the right path, and highlighting what was outmoded and worn out. At this point, you should know where you're headed, and you are ready and raring to get going! Focus on the details to make sure there are no surprises, instead of rushing in where angels fear to tread. Keep the energy level, but lose the urgency and take it slow. Let things progress in their own time, I promise it will be worth the wait. Above all, there should be no games being played. Be 100% percent clear and honest at all times, no exceptions. Do not censor or stifle yourself either. Make sure to take time for yourself and escape the rigors of the world, but dont lose control, we're way over that now, right?
Physical- Dont flake on those resolutions guys, this is the time to get shredded; buy P90X and dont miss a day, become a gym rat, and eat good food. Treat yourself right this year, there is absolutely no reason not to. Get passionate about it! Its time to live the good life, and have some FUN!! You're going to be feeling downright raunchy anyway, so do whatever with whoever feels right.
Mental- Now is not the time to flake on your bills, keep the lights on and watch the stresses evaporate. Keep your focus on the small stuff. Its time to demand what you want out of life, and go get because it sure as hell is not going to get delivered on a silver platter, you have to want it, feel it, taste it: it has to be as much a part of being alive as breathing or you'll never get it. No excess, save your money and build up your empire.
Spiritual- Ok, the inevitable point: THIS IS NOT THE END!!! Well, it is, but not in a mayan/doomsday/conflagration sense; Its the end of being weak, powerless, making excuses and not owning up to your life. Its the beginning of everything, you are stepping into your own shoes and claiming your glory. This is it guys, the gates are open, and you can have whatever you want! You just have to go for it with reckless abandon, and make it audaciously awesome.
