Friday, October 30, 2015

Something Wicked This Way Comes...

Consumed by Corruption, Michael Shaheen, CCL

How far would you go to gain the power to change the world around you? Subject reality to your whims? What lines would you cross? Are there any that you wouldn’t, even if that was all that stood between you and your ultimate expression? What sacrifices would you be willing to suffer? What atrocities would you commit in the name of your own greatest good?

How corrupted and vile would you allow yourself to become in pursuit of your power?
Now that Saturn is officially well and out of Scorpio, and into Saggo, these thoughts weigh heavily on my mind. Today I realized, driving home and listening to one of my new favorite songs for the 300th or so time, that Saturn in Sagittarius will be testing you, specifically on your most deeply held ideals. He will push and prod you, having your back pressed further and further up against the wall, to see what guns you will stick to, and what you will sacrifice in the name of self-preservation. This will not be easier than Scorpio. He will not be kind. He will force you to see where you have already surrendered to the monster within you during his Scorpio trip, and he will engineer situations to force you further down that path. What you will find however, is that by following that path, you will gain more and more control, strength and power. This comes at a steep cost- the idea of who you were, the good and pure within you, what some would call your soul. It is essentially signing a deal with the devil, as they say.

That is the cost of the fast road.

And lord, you will be tempted. Saturn WANTS you to give in, he wants to see you surrender. And make no mistake, this is you surrendering to yourself. The desire to go faster, do more, do better NOW is you. And it is oh so human. No god, devil, or bloated gasbag of a planet can make you want this- This comes from within you. I can’t tell you whether or not to use it, to go further down into your own corruption, that will be up to you. Lord knows im hardly the spokesperson for restraint, and the slow road. There hasn’t been a line yet that I haven’t been willing to cross. My corruption is so much that it is impossible for me to even remember where I started. I offer no apologies however- if I didn’t make the choices that I made, I wouldn’t be alive to look back and sit in judgment of myself. I know where one old line is still drawn, however; and I am still pure enough to be sickened by the corrupted parts of me, but to be at my maximum I must bring them within me- The poison is my cure. Yet I hesitate on the threshold. Must I really embody that which disgusts me, which I reject? Is there no other way? Acceptance will lead to further corruption, but my current state is nothing more than a stopgap- I am stuck in neutral if I do not move forward. Is it even tenable to try and withstand it? How long can I possibly teeter on the edge? If it is inevitable that I fall further, why am I wasting valuable time and energy fighting what I have no chance against, as it is me locked in a civil war with myself?

I have no doubt that my rambling and questions mirror your own inner monologue. We are all facing this same quandary, in one way or another. I have no more answers than you do, all I offer you at this point is the solace that you do not face this alone. Well, allright that’s a lie. You are in this alone. But you have others with you locked in the same struggle. This will get easier once Jupiter moves into Libra, but by then we will be busy trying not to get dragged under the tsunami that is coming (Summer 2016. It will make the Cardinal Crisis look like chicken shit).

No rest for the wicked.