TNO Watch- Orpheus

A boy and his guitar by Michael Taggart

You know, we have been way too stuck in the underworld lately. Im not a fan. I think its about time to bust out of this cage, dont you? Luckily I know just the man for the job...

The Astronomy: 3361 Orpheus is an Apollo asteroid that was discovered on April 24, 1982 by Carlos Torres at Cerro El Roble Astronomical Station. Its eccentric orbit crosses that of Mars and Earth, and approaches Venus as well. From 1900 to 2100 it passes closer than 30 Gm to Venus 11, Earth 33, and Mars 14 times. It passed by Earth at a distance of about 40 lunar distances on December 7, 2013. 3361 Orpheus is a potentially hazardous asteroid (PHA) because its minimum orbit intersection distance (MOID) is less than 0.05 AU and its diameter is greater than 150 meters. The Earth-MOID is 0.0139 AU (2,080,000 km; 1,290,000 mi). Its orbit is well-determined for the next several hundred years.The orbital solution includes non-gravitational forces.

The Myth: Orpheus  was a legendary musician, poet, and prophet in ancient Greek religion and myth. The major stories about him are centered on his ability to charm all living things and even stones with his music, his attempt to retrieve his wife, Eurydike, from the underworld, and his death at the hands of those who could not hear his divine music. As an archetype of the inspired singer, Orpheus is one of the most significant figures in the reception of classical mythology in Western culture, portrayed or alluded to in countless forms of art and popular culture including poetry, film, opera, music, and painting. For the Greeks, Orpheus was a founder and prophet of the so-called "Orphic" mysteries. He was credited with the composition of the Orphic Hymns, a collection of which only two have survived. The most famous story in which Orpheus figures is that of his wife Eurydice (sometimes referred to as Euridice and also known as Argiope). While walking among her people, the Cicones, in tall grass at her wedding, Eurydice was set upon by a satyr. In her efforts to escape the satyr, Eurydice fell into a nest of vipers and suffered a fatal bite on her heel. Her body was discovered by Orpheus who, overcome with grief, played such sad and mournful songs that all the nymphs and gods wept. On their advice, Orpheus traveled to the underworld. By his music he softened the hearts of Hades and Persephone (he was the only person ever to do so), who agreed to allow Eurydice to return with him to earth on one condition: he should walk in front of her and not look back until they both had reached the upper world. He set off with Eurydice following, and, in his anxiety, as soon as he reached the upper world, he turned to look at her, forgetting that both needed to be in the upper world, and she vanished for the second time, but now forever. Other ancient writers, however, speak of Orpheus' visit to the underworld in a more negative light; according to Phaedrus the infernal gods only "presented an apparition" of Eurydice to him. Ovid says that Eurydice's death was not caused by fleeing from Aristaeus but by dancing with naiads on her wedding day. In fact, Plato's representation of Orpheus is that of a coward, as instead of choosing to die in order to be with the one he loved, he instead mocked the gods by trying to go to Hades to bring her back alive. Since his love was not "true"—he did not want to die for love—he was actually punished by the gods, first by giving him only the apparition of his former wife in the underworld, and then by being killed by women. After returning from the underworld, Orpheus never took another wife, instead only taking the company of young boys from that point on. The women of the area, feeling spurned, went into a Dionystic frenzy and ripped him limb from limb- Even as Orpheus tried to calm them with his music, they could not hear it. And so he died.

The Astrology: Okay, so- it doesn't take an astrologer to see just how absolutely contrived this story is. Seriously, i've seen comics with less convoluted plots (actually that's a lie- Ive never actually picked up a comic in my life). Orpheus was history's first rockstar. Unfortunately for him (and his adoring fans) he had some... different tastes than the culture of the time was used to. The Eurydike story was made up as a cover for this fact. Now in terms of the astrology itself, some astrologers link this asteroid as the long sought-after indicator of homosexuality (possibly sharing this with Ganymed), but I would go straight for the kill and call it more likely to be an indicator of pedophilliac tendencies, at its most extreme. Obviously more study would need to be done, but that would be my take on it. However, drawing solely from its myth (regardless of how contrived it is) Orpheus should indicate musical talent, a love of being in the spotlight, tragedy in relationships, going to the ends of the earth for the ones they love, drama, and a direct link from the world of the gods to the world of man.The greatest message that Orpheus tell us however, is that if you nuture your gifts, and use the skills that you are given, you can move even the will of heaven and hell.

To find out where he shows up in your chart, go to astro.com, put in your birth details and in the extended options, all the way at the bottom, there will be a menu of additional objects. Under that is a blank space where you can enter the number 3361, for Orpheus. Once you have it entered, generate the chart! Where does Orpheus affect your life? Let us know in the comments below!

TNO Watch: Orcus

“Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one’s head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forget life, to be at peace.”
—Oscar Wilde

Allow me to announce the triumphant return of the TNO Watch!

For those who aren't aware, we have far more than just the main 8 planets in our solar system: There are actually hundreds of thousands of bodies that we know of, and more are being discovered daily. Some of the most interesting ones are minor planets out past Neptune, given the designation Trans-Neptunian Objects, or TNOs.

And boy, do I have a good one to talk about today...

The Astronomy: Orcus is in the Kuiper belt, and has a large moon- Vanth. He is a plutino, locked in a 2:3 resonance with Neptune, extremely similar to Pluto's orbit,except that it is constrained to always be in the opposite phase of its orbit from Pluto: Orcus is at aphelion when Pluto is at perihelion and vice versa. Moreover, the aphelion of Orcus's orbit points in nearly the opposite direction from Pluto's, although the eccentricities and inclinations are similar. Because of these similarities and contrasts, along with its large moon Vanth that recalls Pluto's large moon Charon, Orcus has been regarded as the anti-Pluto. This was a major consideration in selecting its name, as the deity Orcus was the Etruscan equivalent of the Roman Pluto, and later became an alternate name for Pluto.

The Mythology: Orcus was a god of the underworld, the punisher of broken oaths in Italic and Roman mythology. As with Hades, the name of the god was also used for the underworld itself. Orcus was portrayed in paintings in Etruscan tombs as a hairy, bearded giant.  Orcus was chiefly worshiped in rural areas; he had no official cult in the cities. This remoteness allowed for him to survive in the countryside long after the more prevalent gods had ceased to be worshiped. He survived as a folk figure into the Middle Ages, and aspects of his worship were transmuted into the wild man festivals held in rural parts of Europe through modern times.

The Astrology: Since Orcus was only recently discovered, his astrological impact is still being studied by those of us who get off on this sort of thing. Still, from what we know we can glean a few things about how he works. He is a facet of the Underworld, much like Pluto; but unlike our favorite emo planet, Orcus is concerned more with the life-death-rebirth cycle than outright power and death. Orcus is the decomposition of living matter to become fertilizer or compost, enriching the soil so that it may bear fruit again next year. Orcus is fecundity, the knowledge that nothing ever truly dies, he is the law of conservation of matter.

Also interesting is his moon, Vanth, who I think has just as much import as the big guy does. Vanth is concerned with the passage of souls from the world of the living to the world of the dead: She is a psychopomp, being able to get in and out of hell as she chooses. Therefore, Orcus can be seen in that light as well, helping transition to the next stages in our life, helping us grow. Orcus is also the God of Oaths, so we find a connection to Pluto- Oaths can be seen as a pledge, or commitment of power, and Orcus has power over these, enforcing fairness and coming down HARD on those who cheat others, because in his eyes, they are cheating him!


To find out where he shows up in your chart, go to astro.com, put in your birth details and in the extended options, all the way at the bottom there will be a menu of additional objects with Orcus' name there. Once you see it, click it and generate the chart! Where does Orcus affect your life?

Venus in Capricorn- Primal Urges (Undead Love Issues Alert!)

Hello, Hellraisers!! So currently I'm enjoying Venus conjunct my Ascendant, and all the benefits that brings to my social life, but looking ahead is a little more pressing. Our girl is about to head into Capricorn, so that puts an end to her hijinks in freewheeling Saggo and lends more of a serious edge to all matters of romance and passion. Primal urges awaken and people start going into caveman mode- great for the preservation of the species, but not a great fit for modern society.

This is going to be especially evident when she links up with Pluto (the 17th), and for that one specifically im issuing another Undead Lover alert- Anything unresolved will come up for a flashpoint, and will force you to deal with it- I reccomend doing so quickly and with finality. Watch out though, because this will be active starting on the 10th, when she makes a sextile to Neptune and making it oh so easy to believe that THIS time, things will be different and that its going to work out. You guys, however, should be able to smell this from a mile away and should know better than to fall for the hype. Still, getting past your defenses is Neptune's specialty, and deep down, I know you really want to believe....

Luckily, Saturn is close by at the culmination of this, so he can help you strengthen your resolve. Not to mention that once its over and done with, you will be amazed at the new options that you have open to you, even if you have to put in the work to get them. Chiron is involved of course, because why not have this be a tie into old emotional pain?  Remember though- Chiron runs a school to train heroes, and you're in the master class; Beat this test and move on to the next lesson.

This is going to be rough, because its a distraction from all the taking over the world that you want to be doing right now. Focus on that, do not allow the other issues to take up any more of your time, energy or focus than what is necessary- Give it no quarter. Pay special attention to your health and wellness goals right now- if you've made a commitment to that, keep at it; If not, then get on that shit. Any self-improvement work you undergo now is very potent and all the more effective.

Oh and you can pretty much count the next 9 months as total, full-on Insanity Astro. Ohyes, boys and girls- we're back on! 

Ladies in Gentlemen- I have the utmost faith in you, and I know you will rock it out! Just remember- by any means necessary!

Dum Spiro Spero

- The AstroGeek

 

Scorpio Black Ops, Act III: Pluto Direct- Armed And Dangerous

Sweet Kubera, was this the longest Pluto Retrograde or was it just me? He's been tracing his steps since April, and has finally found that little black book he was looking for (it was in a secret safe under his bed. Of course!) and we can all move on with our lives. Now if he could just remember how to get back to where he was....


And yes, I am in fact aware that Pluto is actually in Capricorn, not Scorpio. So why is it in the Scorpio Black Ops section, you might ask? Well, the thing is, Pluto rules Scorpio, so he's like the Godfather when it comes to anything that happens there: It all has to go through him. Ignore or undercut him at your own peril. Also, its my site, I do what I want.


So here's the deal: Pluto has been fucking up your shit since April. Now hes going to go rake over it with hot coals as he catches back up to where he was. You are going to have to walk through fire again guys.

But do you know what? This is going to be fantastic for you. Do you know how I know that? Because you are going to MAKE it fantastic. You're going to take all that pain that you are lugging around still (even after I keep telling you to chuck it in the nearest bin) and you are going to use it. You're going to use it as fuel to blast yourself into a totally new paradigm. Everyone will need to do this very shortly, but you guys are going to get a jump on it. Use this time to plan out your trajectory, because its so much easier to lay the groundwork now, instead of when Saturn hits into Scorpio.

Here is what you do: First, define what you want. You should be a master at this by now. Think back to April, and the plans that you were making then that have since gotten derailed (most likely because you were trying to have your cake and eat it too.) Dont forget what you learned when you went off course. Its important, and will end up being the key to your success. Go for authentic, and ditch anything that isnt what you want out of your life.

Second, figure out what is standing in your way to get there. Know your enemy. Find out as much as you can about your challenges. Use the Mars in Virgo/ Venus in Gemini skills you picked up during those insane transits. Remember- If it can be tracked, it can be conquered; your salvation, not the devil, is in the details. Move gracefully through the bullshit, nothing can touch you if you dont let it. Do not allow yourself to stay stuck.

Third- Go after it! In order to get what you want, you need to take it. Nothing will be handed to you. This is the struggle, the grind. You can win big, but you have to show up and make big moves to do it. DO NOT ALLOW ANYTHING TO STAND IN YOUR WAY.

Fourth: Stick with it. To get results, you need to stay determined and focused. Dont allow yourself to get distracted. You've already compromised and its cost you. If the situation changes however, do not hesitate to pull a course correction. It could very well save your life.

Fifth, if you see others trying to do to this, and aren't exactly getting it, do what you can to help them. Remember that was you at one point, and could easily be you again. We help who we can, remember that.

Sixth- Minimalize. If there is something you dont need, chuck it. This goes from everything from old emotional baggage, clothes/shoes, obligations, porn collections, what have you. Get. Rid. Of. It. Start living like you might be called out of the country for a year at a moments notice. Seriously, what all do you really need?

Seventh- Dont allow yourself to be tripped up and stuck in what has happened before. Its over and done, there's no changing the past, and you are stuck with it. The good news is you still have the present and the future to work with. Dont forget that.

Wow. That turned into a manifesto rather quickly....

Ladies and gentlemen, we still have a very long road ahead of us. Its going to be hell at times. Not everyone will make it. Its still worth going, because we couldn't go back if we tried.

Besides, you're really going to want to see where we end up; Trust me.

Hobey-Ho, lets go!
-The Astrogeek

Saturn in Libra- A Review

Libras, have you got that yet?

Allright, so I knew that while Saturn was wrapping up his extended stay in Libra, the one thing we could count on is a whole lot of testing of the strength of relationships, but I was not prepared for the insane amount of relationships which seem to have failed the test! Something about Venus squaring off against Saturn set a lot of people off, and just wrecked the relationship scene. Now obviously, this is not ALL relationships, and a great many of the ones that did pass the test seem to be all the stronger at the mo'.

Seriously though, what the hell guys? Venus aspects Saturn fairly regularly, but something about this one... More Cardinal Crisis, Disaster Astro I suppose. At any rate, there is some good news- Venus is in LEO (rawr) now and it is time to step back into the world in force!

Before you do that however, I STRONGLY urge you to take some time away, and seriously reflect on what the relationship meant to you, what you learned, and what you know never to do again. Especially while the Moon is in Cancer (9/9-9/11 [yeah, expect a LOT of emotional raking and release on the last day of the transit, especially in America {America is a Cancer as well. Definitely one to watch}]), its brilliant for doing any internal work (Moon = reflective) especially when its about emotions, specifically the ones you try to avoid and hide from. They will need to be faced and moved on from.

Actually, it would be good to take at least two days and try to process everything that you have learned and how much you've grown since 2009, when Saturn first entered Libra (and especially how far you've come since February, when Saturn when Retrograde and Neptune entered Pisces) . Think back, I guarantee that you have come ridiculously far since then. But keep one day specifically for your relationship work. Journal, record yourself, meditate on it, whatever you need to do to process. I would reccomend something where you can express your feelings in words, because Libra is an Air sign and communication is all-important to us Airs (but oddly, not to Aries...).

While Saturn may be the main attraction, he certainly is not the only one to watch. Pluto is sextiling Chiron, making it a little easier to face all that old pain and just LET IT GO and move past it. It needs to be faced, and reflected on first however, and trust me, that will not be easy. You don't need to face it alone, remember that.

Also in the mix is a interesting lineup of the North Node, and the asteroids Juno and Eros. Now, Juno deals with relationships and commitment, as well as power struggles; Eros represents passion and romantic love. When you put those with the North Node, indicating Karma, Life Lessons and Choices, a picture starts to emerge. You may presented with a deluge of either new prospects or reminders of love past, depending on how much you move on and how much you cling to what was. If things are still up in the air I urge you to resolve them one way or another in order to allow both parties to move forward instead of being stuck in neutral.

Regarding moving on, you need to do so in a forward motion. This means no backsliding into old patterns that you've outgrown. And trust me, if you do try to slip, you will notice that you dont have any enthusiasm for those activites and they will feel draining and irritating. Don't waste your time, focus on doing productive things that you actually get excited about instead.

After the 11th, the Moon joins up with Venus and this gets LOADS easier, but to get there you need to go down to the Cancer's dark depths and air out the old crap.

Hang in there guys, the end of a Saturn transit always feels like exam week, but you have to do it or you dont graduate, capicé? And besides, after Saturn hits Scorpio is when the fun REALLY begins.

Stay tough as nails
-The AstroGeek

Pluto Retrograde- The Only Thing We Have to Fear

Time to deal with Pluto again guys. The Good news? You dont have to put up with the bullshit anymore (and I dont have to censor myself as much!!). What's more, you dont have to answer to anyone for doing what you want to do either. All's fair in Love, War, Life and Banking (Also, Vegas). Not to mention, significantly less external stress.

The Bad news? Well, there's a reason I said external stress. Emotionaly, you're going to want to give up on just about everything. And that's not such a bad thing, because if you're like me, then you've been holding on to what you need to drop in order to progress. Expect that everything that is unsustainable will be culled. There's just no room for it anymore. 

The Awesome news? Going into Pluto's dungeon ALWAYS leaves us better off and so much stronger than we ever were before. He will break you, destroy your illusions and push you until you FINALLY start taking control of your life and stand on your own two feet. This is your life, isnt it?

Face your fears now. Live with reckless abandon. Let your old self die so that you can be reborn. 

And for the love of god, don't EVER let them see you sweat

Hobey-Ho, lets go

-The AstroGeek   

Full Moon in Taurus- The Nuclear Option

Alright guys, we made it through the first wave of the undead issues. Ready for Round 2? Because you're going to have to dig deep, and go hard to get rid of them once and for all. This is the endgame. You've been through hell, and you are now standing at the gates; Your reward is in sight. Are you ready to finish this?

Sun/Moon- Alright, Sun in Scorp, Moon in Taurus. Chaos is all around, and you are going to need to rise to the occasion and change, fast and furious style, even though all you want to do is sit at home and watch TV. No emo and no drama allowed or you will not make it. Super awesome potential here, but you have to go down and tap into it; which is easier said than done. Sun is conjunct Huya, so making money is a major focus right now. A trine/sextile to Dionysius indicates the desire to shirk your responsibilities and just go and have fun, but there are deeper issues here that may be activated and rehashed if you chose to take that path. A sextile/trine to Child shows that right now, you may not be presenting your most mature face right now, or you may be on the recieving end of this. The big aspect is a square to Damocles, which highlights the sword hanging over your head, watch for out for flowery words, it is nothing but smoke.

Mercury/Venus- These two are joined at the hip at the moment, so we are going to take them as a pair. A square to Elatus makes it hard to stay positive, but it is worth the effort right now. Put on a brave face and keep going. A trine to Pelion has you focused on self-mastery. Keep working on it, it will pay off, very soon in fact. A square to Psyche strains your relationships. If tensions rise, it may be more beneficial to withdraw than to engage in the conflict. A trine to Circe reminds you that you are in charge of manifesting your reality, quit the whining and make it happen already! A sextile to Kassandra indicates that good counsel will fall on deaf ears, dont waste your energy. A sextile to Lachesis indicates that something is coming to an end, dont cling to a sinking ship. A trine to Persephone can leave you feeling removed from the current situation, and feeling as though events are out of your control. Theyre not, own the situation and take control. A square to Apollo is brilliant for putting your energies into creative pursuits, if you can find the time. A sextile to Ascelpius highlights the need to take care of your health first and foremost. Rest, eat right and stay on track.

Mars- Our boy is almost done in Leo, getting ready to roll into Virgo, where he wil be camped out for the next nine freaking months. Enjoy. Personally, I am pumped, because this is one of my favorite transits, and in the Grand Trine being set up... Whew boy, we are in for a ride. Lets call this the return to sanity, after the insanity that has been par for the course lately. An opposition to Chiron makes it very hard to keep your health on track, dont skip your workouts, and take your vitamins. A square to Okyrhoe can lead you to some startling revelations. If you are entrusted with some sensitive information, however, do not reveal it or there may be serious reprecussions! Lastly, a conjunction to Industria bodes well for all of your efforts at the moment; Capitalize on your momentum.

Jupiter- Papa Jup is playing his part setting up the events to come, and reigning in the awesome if you are willing to put in the work. A trine to Sisyphus can leave you feeling as though your efforts are not getting you anywhere, but its all in your head. Keep going. With a trine to Orcus, make sure you keep your word when you give it, or it will come back to bite you. A square to Pallas has your mind firing at full blast, trying to find the most prudent strategy for your situation.

Saturn- Saturn is tired of your shit. Now its about to get real. A square to Varuna shows that your reputation is on the line, so watch yourself. Outside forces may come into play, but since you cannot control that, control your reaction to the situation. A sextile to Niobe tells you to count your blessings, silently if at all possible, so as not to sound boastful. A sextile to Siwa shows that you need to take control of your situation. Nut up or Shut up. A square to Eros lends some much needed life to your love life, but things may not be all that the appear. Be careful.

Uranus- Uranus is a big player in this Lunation. Use him to help you detach from the situation and get some perspective, minus the emo drama. A square to Hades helps you in this, helping you to go deep and purge what needs to go. Dont hold onto it, just let go. A trine to Okyrhoe lends spectacular insight, you have great vision right now. Trust your instincts. A square to Panacea highlights your need to take time for yourself and your health.

Neptune- A trine to Apollon shows that even though you are putting on a brave face, actions that you may be forced to take may not be well recieved. Another opposition, to Industria, shows that your efforts may not be completely ideal, but they are still worth the time. A square to Heracles is sapping your strength, but keep going. Use Mars' vitality instead.

Pluto- Ah, the man of the hour! Starting out, there is a conjunction to Crantor. This may indicate that you are engaging in ego dramas, playing the martyr. If you try to continue on this, Pluto will tear you down so fast it will make your head spin. Instead of whining and saying "Why me?" , man up, look them dead in the eye and say "Try me." A square to Typhon will bring up all of your old demons, rise to the challenge, and put them to rest for good! A sextile to Teharonhiawako gives you everything you need to create your own reality, make it drama free! You have the potential to make your life amazing, do WHAT YOU WANT, and screw anyone who tries to take you down. Deal with them quickly and effectively. A sextile to Juno is putting an end to the toxic relationships that you have put up with up until now. Get rid of them. A trine to Astraea shows you that there will be a return to a golden time, and it will be soon, however to get there you will need to wlak through the fire. Stay focused. A sextile to Terpsichore shows that underneath it all, you are going to be just fine. Take some time to escape, and take time for yourself. Finally, you have a conjunction to Apophis. Break out the big guns, and destroy what stands in your way; obliterate the opposition. Let nothing stand in your way right now; I cant emphasize this enough. If there is even the slightest hesitation, fear, or doubt- Destroy it. From this moment on, we are building a brand new foundation, but we have to do some demolition first, and there is no room for the once-was and has-been.

Stay strong, dig deep, and rally against anything whose time has come. Face your demons, and deal with them completely. This is the moment guys, lets do this, once and for all!!


                                                                           Hoo-ah!
                                                                           -The Astrogeek             




Your Songs of the Zeitgeist-

And, inexplicably, this one which has taken up seemingly permanent residence in my head and refuses to leave.

New Moon in Scorpio: The Annoyingly, Frustatingly Undead

Well isnt it a lovely day out, I think ill take a stroll toooohhhhh ZOMG ZOMBIEESSSS!!!! Quick, close the door!! Wait, open it again and let me inside! Oh, screw you man, i went to your bar mitzvah! Ok, seriously, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY OPEN THE MOTHER#%*$ING DOOR!!! Thank you! Whew that was close!

Ok, now that we've thouroughly wet ourselves (ill never be able to hear a moan again), lets move on to the Main Event: Starzina! Oh wait, wrong website... Anyways, down to business. And speaking of business, your humble Astrologer got a shiny new job! Yes, yes, thank you dear readers. Now dont fret, I will still release these jewels of pure undiluted wisdom as often as they are needed, so I assume I have some catching up to do.

Now: The lunation- Super Scorp! The Sun and Moon meet in Scorpio today, unleashing the zombies of your unfinished lessons, the vampires of lost loves, and the wraiths of promises not kept upon the unsuspecting people. Sounds fun, no? Suprising no one, the Scorps are the first ones to rush into battle, but suprisingly, they fall relatively easy to the invaders. This causes all assembled, even Aries, to quake in fear. The Geminis are long gone at this point, but not even making it a block away before their not-so-little white lies catch up to them. Leos stand bravely to their boasts, trying to scare them away, but they succumb as well. It ends up being a massacre. All that is left is one lone Virgo to clean up the mess.

Cheery, no? Well, get your steel undies on, It is Scorp after all! And there will be no quarter for bullshit this time. Oh no guys, you had your chance to make the necessary changes on your own. Now you get to deal with Scorpio. And there shall be a reckoning.

For those of you who have been paying attention, however, this is it: where all the lingering crap is burned away, leaving you gleaming and golden. There's a catch though: You are going to have to walk into the fire.

"Oh no" you say, "he's finally lost it and gone off the deep end. Too bad, he was pretty funny. And kinda cute. Oh well, time to go before he offers us some Kool-aid, Sheila (there's always a Sheila)" And then I say "No no no, hear me out before you walk out into the Zombies". "Pffffft, Whatever. I'm outta here!" because you are the last Valley Girl, and run out to meet your doom. The rest of you lovely readers, do you want to know how to walk through fire without being burned?

Enough doom and gloom. Lets get to the Astro!

The Sun and Moon- The new moon starts out with an opposition to Jupiter, showing us that change is only going to happen if we have faith, both in ourselves and whatever higher being or plan you choose to trust (as for me, I choose Math) and stay optimistic. Look to your left, and you will see a sextile to Pluto, further pushing the transformative, cut-through-the-merde vibe to the extreme, and standing with you in the challenge. He's on your side, ask for his help (Did you know Hades never had a temple in Greece? Too bad they tried to shut him out, they didn't know what they were missing). There is a sextile to Hebe, so you might find yourself stuck in the role of servant to someone else; swallow your pride, bide your time and wait for the opportune moment. Hekate is active again, helping us create exactly what we want. A conjunction to Atlantis warns of abusing your power, try to keep to yourself and not get involved in any drama/power struggles.

Mercury- Also in Scorpio, late Scorpio at that! Where does the time go? A conjunction to Oh-so-sexy Venus and Amor tells you exactly where your head is at: Love- deep, intense, dirty nasty love. Watch out though, a square to Nessus warns of what can happen when there is any sort of trickery or not respecting someone's boundaries. Tread lightly.

Venus- Our girl is also in late Scorp, causing her usual havoc. A square to Mars causes serious friction. Lots of energy, harness it to further your aims. A sextile to Pandora ensures that you will be making a splash! A square to Sedna can leave you feeling frozen, like you're less than human. Take some time for yourself and come back to the world of the living. Another square, to Siwa, can make it hard to know exactly what you want out of life, but trust that you will get what you need. When in doubt, dont ask! Finally, a conjunction to Sauer can leave you ready to go off, given the slightest provocation. Exercise caution.

Mars- Our boy is trining his delightfully wicked sister, Eris, and the two are just going bonkers, getting into as much trouble as possible. Another trine, to Quaoar, further heightens the happy mood, and brings some much needed brevity to all the Scorpio intensity. A great time to engage in any kind of creative pursuits, helped by the amazingly awesome sextile to Saturn.

Jupiter- A trine to Pluto is pushing you to eliminate everything standing in the way of your growth. A sextile to Teharonhiawako amplifies this, and warns you of trusting those who are still to wrapped up in their dramas to be of much help to you. An opposition to to Nemesis is waiting in the wings to take down anyone who so much as thinks a boastful or elitist thought, so stay 100% clean right now, just focus on your own work. A trine to Icarus shows that all you ant to do is just fly away from your problems, and maybe that is in your best interest. If it is, you will know; dont fight it or get bogged down. Just go.

Saturn- Saturn is trying to calm Eris down and keep the situation somewhat contained, and is having a hell of a time with it. He has some help from Mars, but its just too fun to pass up for the warrior. A trine to Memoria brings up all those issues that you have worked through for a final review. Don't get caught up, or you will have to repeat the lesson, in about 27 years.

Uranus- Not a whole lot going on here, just a square to Hades, foraging into your subconscious to bring it out into the light so you can grow.

Neptune- A Square to Okyrhoe shows that this is not the time to try to win any popularity contests, or to bend over backward to please others. Just get in, do your job and do it well, and get out. An opposition to Astraea shows that you feel cut off from the God consciousness, and it is taking its toll. A square to Hephaistos warns that you might try to lose yourself in pursuing a foolish task or aim.

Pluto- Ooooh, last but not least. Pluto is squaring Typhon, dragging out all the monsters from under the bed. You're a big boy now, face your fears. A sextile to Teharonhiawako challenges you to take what you have learned and build something with it. A square to Itokawa warns of the dangers of provoking anyone into taking action, it will backfire. A conjunction to Icarus shows the way out of your situation is in your own mind. Go see a hypnotist, or a therapist who can help you get in touch with your subconscious mind so you can get your answers. Speaking of, MAJOR unearthing of secrets happening now, old mysteries that you gave up on are about to unravel. Be prepared.

All in all, a very promising Lunation if you handle yourself. Just remember, aim for the head.

                                                                                -The Astrogeek


Song(s) of the Zeitgeist-

ASTROSCENE: The Takedown

Hey everyone, sorry about the hiatus. There was an unfortunate incident involving a Snow Leopard that i had to contend with. Note: never take a snow leopard as a roomate; they never clean up after themselves, never pay the rent, and they shed all over the place.

Anyway, you came to see a post. So without further ados....

Since we last left the Sun, he has started a major cult that threatens to take over the globe. Vulcan is a High Priest, and Psyche and Venus are the heads of the Harem, er wives...
Uranus stops by and tries to rally for progressive reforms at the next meeting. Ceres brings quiche. Saturn looks on disapprovingly, while at the same time secretly wanting to join in on the fun.

Pallas prepares an expose of the blatant human rights violations, but Vesta accidentally tapes over the footage with a recording of her cat show. She suprises everyone with her new passion, fantasy baseball.

Mercury re-enters (stage right) the drama; turns out that he is going back to school, and in his abscence he was making a college visit. Neptune knew, but just forgot to mention it to everyone. Chiron whaps him upside the head, then gives him a band-aid.

Turning to the Moon, we find out that she is PISSED and not going to take any of the B.S. any more. She launches an all-out offensive on the Sun's cult, bringing in a team of Mercenaries er, professional security contractors to storm the palace and stage a coup. Jupiter finances the operation, and Pallas comes up with the battle plan. It all goes horribly wrong, and the Cult lives on.

Mars is feeling very depressed, and goes to go pick a fight with Pluto. They wind up talking and find out they have a lot in common, and Pluto gives him some new music for his playlist (Dashboard Confessional, most likely). Neptune joins the party, and brings tequila. Chiron is the DD.

Suprisingly, Eris is not involved in anything. No one has any idea where she is, and everyone is on edge.

Juno is settling well into her new position of V.P. of Operations at SaturnCorp, Inc., and by "settling" we mean a bloodthirsty reign of terror marked by incessant politeness, a removal of all swearing, and loads of pastel colors. The workers start up a new commitee for workplace equality, helped along by Uranus. Ceres brings more quiche.

Eros takes a stroll by himself to get lost, and runs into Sedna. She is instantly charmed by his swarthy, earthy charm, and he is intruiged by her gourgeous...um...eyes. Yeah, thats it.




Ok, so here's the deal: due to circumstances beyond my control, the AstroScene is going to be a weekly thing, as I am more than a little swamped. I am still doing consults (at the moment). The TNO Watch will still be coming out as scheduled.

And as always, go check out my Astro-Crew, found over to the left. They all rock, hard-core.

Image courtesy of mixed-martial-arts-training.org

Jupiter conjunct Eros

Ok, here at the Skywatch, we have a lot of fun defaming er, libeling... joking around with Jupiter, who has been hanging around with Eros in Taurus. Now, while my interpretation of this transit in the AstroScene is admittedly hilarious, this transit is actually an awesome opportunity that i would be remiss to let go.

First, an intro:  Big Daddy Jupiter is the head honcho on Olympus. Therefore, he gets top billing at the best gigs. Jupiter is like the ultimate sugar daddy. if you're looking for a lucky break, or you just need to coast a little bit after a particularly rough Saturn transit, this is the planet you need to watch.  That being said, his Achilles heel is that sometimes luck backfires, or instead of coasting you really need to buckle down harder and implement everything Saturn taught you. With Jupiter though, it can be hard to see reality, kind of like Neptune, but nowhere near as bad. Jupiter is just a minor attitude adjustment. He is the awesome professor that inspires you, or the guru who helps you see a way to live your life with a deeper spiritual connection. Jupiter excels at shifting your perception to encourage your growth and overcome the challenges in your life.

Eros however, represents your passion, and your personal drama. And yes, he also has a huge say in your love life, specifically the initial moment of attraction. For example, your humble astrologer has his Eros in Aries, part of a huge Stellium (group of planets) including heavy hitters like the Moon, Venus, Eris and Vesta. Now, this tends to manifest itself in me being a total tool when im interested in you; basically being loud, really energetic, and with a smile on my face bigger than a peeled banana trying to convince you of my awesomeness (along with the occasional boast). And if you challenge me? Forgeddaboutit. But i am also extremely passionate about fitness; if I miss a workout, I have more pent up energy than I know what to do with, which never ends well. Any cause devoted to the military and our soldiers, i am probably a supporter. Same story with kids charities. All classic Aries, and i am not ashamed to admit it.

So, now that I've succesfully tweeted my own horn, lets get to...

What it Means: With these two sharing the same bit of sky, the focus is on following your passion, consequences be damned. Its the ultimate fool's journey, with Jupiter's naive optimism, and Eros' wild passion, the potential is HUGE to chase after your dreams with reckless abandon, so that you can create the life you want. However the potential is also there to crash and burn in a blaze of glory (but more on Phaeton later). Your creative juices are flowing at full blast, and its up to you to channel them in the best possible way.

Now this is all taking place in Taurus, the sign of self-gratification. Ruled by Venus; Fashion Art, Pleasure, Hedonism and Indulgence are all trademarked by Taurus. Its all about the senses when you're dealing with the bull. Taurus loves the best in absolutely everything, and will not settle for less. The awesome thing about Taurus is that the gourmet desire is also coupled with an amazing financial know-how to make sure there's always enough in the bank account.

Also in the mix is Pluto, who is busy doing some serious demolition in Capricorn. He is in a Trine to these two, giving their conjunction an even bigger potential for change and achievement. 

So you have Jupiter (growth) conjunct Eros (passion) in Taurus (material, excellence, beauty), trine Pluto (transformation) in Capricorn (the world, achievement). Depending on where this transit is happening in your chart, you are being inspired to create a path that reflects your passion and calling in life. Follow it, but stay grounded.

So go out, take a painting/writing class, spend some time with your family, start up a new workout regimen, get back out there and search for romance; or whatever else your heart leads you to do. But above all, this transit is one that says, "Get out and enjoy yourself!!". All too often, we so get wrapped up in our personal dramas that we forget that we are not put on this planet to be miserable. Go have some fun, i promise its not going to kill you.

Over and out
AstroGeek



Image courtesy of http://troycap.imagekind.com/store/imagedetail.aspx/87e13f4e-937d-4962-8cd1-1cf2e97d261d/Eros_et_Zeus

ASTROSCENE: Technical Difficulties

Alright guys, fair warning: I write this while I have some mild heat stroke and have been up for 39 straight hours. Therefore, I make no promises on the coherence or the logic, much less the punctuation on this post. That being said; Game on.

When we last left our cast, everything went up in flames for Pluto. He goes in the corner to sulk and listen to Dashboard Confessional for a while. We’ll leave him to it. Saturn, Inc., impressed with the Moon’s brutal attack, calls and offers her a job. She takes one look at Pluto in the corner and asks when she can start. She heads to lunch with Pallas and Vesta, who really need to get out of the house, and they discuss a fair trade, sustainable investment strategy to reinvent Saturn’s image for their huge PR campaign.

Psyche has moved into Mercury’s pad, we’ll see how long that lasts (I give it a month).

Venus and the Sun are still inseparable, but he is beginning to get fed up with her, and is starting to play passive-aggressive power games. Unfortunately, he will lose, because he doesn’t know how to lie.

Ceres has tracked Uranus down and is giving him a big dose of reality. Defeated, he comes back to the city with her.

Jupiter is still…well lets not talk about that for a while. Just tell me when they’re done.

Chiron finally caught up to Neptune in a bar (go figure). The lonely sea god is sitting there nursing a beer with a cockeyed party hat on. Everyone forgot his birthday… The two have a good cry, and go back home to drink some more.

Mars has an existential crisis. Apparently 24-inch biceps and washboard abs aren’t everything. He and Juno decide to go camping. Of course, this is Mars we’re talking about, so they go to Death Valley. I hear its lovely this time of year.


Image courtesy of my dad, who still thinks he is good at fixing things.

Full Moon in Capricorn: The Wheat from the Chaff

(Warning: Adult Themes)

Okay, this ones not going to be easy guys. Pluto is definitely ruling the day here. The Moon skids past him early on, but the Scorpio vibe is impossible to ignore. And with Pluto still in the Cardinal Cross holding pattern, you can bet this is going to be a rough ride.

The Challenge: Now, the name of the game today is Toxicity. If you’ve been paying attention, you caught a glimpse of the awesomeness that could be when Miss Moon was romping through Sagittarius. You should also have caught a moment when you made a minor mistake, leading to you winding up with egg on your face. This is actually highlighting a deeper issue that needs to be dealt with and overcome ASAP. There is a heightened sense of immediacy here. For the most part, this is because the problem has been in the background for a long time, and has just now become intolerable, snapping you into action. This is an issue that has become deeply entrenched, and will require a nuclear-powered mop and lead –lined gloves to clean up.

The Reward: How about everything you ever wanted but were too afraid to ask for? This is a very serious and challenging moment, but the long term payoff is incredible (and its going to be easier than you think). Here’s an example: One of my friends is a great guy, smart, funny, decent-looking and such. Yet he never seems to be able to handle himself when it comes to talking to anyone he’s interested in. He gets extremely nervous, evasive, and defensive, a major change from his normal extroverted self. Recently I looked at his chart for him, and after some talking, he confessed to being addicted to pornography. Now this is a multilayered issue. First, growing up his family was extremely unsupportive of his sexuality, and he was unable to discover these things, so he turned to porn. This served to distance him from his peers (as who needs to date when you have that?) but it subconsciously distanced him from his family as well, leaving the idea that he was unlovable in his mind. This also weighs on all his social interactions, as he is terrified of someone finding out about his secret. In timing with this Moon, he realized the problem, has chosen to take drastic steps to address each part of the issue once and for all, so that he can live a more fulfilling life on his own terms.

In the Trenches: Now this is going to be very tense, and you’re going to have to face some rather uncomfortable facts about yourself and your life. This is Pluto in Capricorn at its finest. The challenges on the horizon are daunting. You’re going to want to look for an easy way out.

Don’t take it.

Heres the thing: You’ve been preparing for this. You’ve come a long way, baby. You’re ready to face this thing square on and wrestle it to the ground. Do not allow the fear to paralyze you from doing what you need to do. I cant stress this enough. We’ve all gone through the ringer, and this is the test. You have defined what you want, and its on the horizon. To get that however, you have to go down into the root and pull out the muck that’s clogging up the drains. Buckle down, ignore every bit of drama that comes at you and get down to business. The hard part here is you cant allow the melancholy in the air to get to you. Try to keep positive, but avoid your vices.

The Good News: It actually is much easier to deal with this than I’ve made it out to be. The problem comes around if you avoid it. There will be other chances, to be sure, but the opportunity presented here is just too good to pass up.

Astrologer’s Note: The case above refers to someone to who I am very close, and would never have shared the information without his express permission, especially given the nature of the issue. It is shared to illustrate the nature of the cosmic event. Please do not flame, as you do not know the full situation.

Image courtesy of http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0PDoX_0Mx5OOWMAUbKjzbkF/SIG=13l6np8vi/EXP=1310631028/**http%3a//www.landscape-photo.net/blog-uk/2010/09/a-solitary-tree-in-the-middle-of-a-field-of-wheat/

From the Man himself

Alright, I know this is a little dated, but i just stumbled onto this. Its too perfect. Here's the description on the website:

Pluto gets demoted, ThinkGeek makes a shirt.

Imagine yourself a tiny planet, happily orbiting the sun at nearly 6 billion kilometers. One morning, you check your email - ooh, an urgent message from the International Astronomical Union. "dear sir... yadda yadda... regret to inform... yadda yadda... planetary status has BEEN REVOKED?!" WTF?

Some scientists are protesting, others even taking legal action, but it's true - the IAU has created rules governing the definition of 'Planet', and our favorite Kuiper-belt object has officially been voted out of the planetary house.

ThinkGeek's latest shirt show's Pluto's likely response, if it were sentient, spoke English, and frowned on cursing. Black high-quality shirt with a white depiction of the solar system, the ninth orbital body of which quietly lamenting, "weak."

Its the exact sort of thing everyone's favorite underdog KBO would say when he found out, dont you think? If only they could work in Eris somewhere...

Image courtesy of http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/sciencemath/8964/#tabs

ASTROSCENE: Retrograde Dreamin'

Ok, so the scene today has all the makings of a classic 30’s movie. The Moon is fed up with the dark noir that was the scene, and just wants to get away and start over in some exotic, foreign land where nobody knows who she is or what she did. Ditching the murder weapon, she hops on a plane to Cambodia to go join a Buddhist monastery with Uranus, who really needs a break. Both fed up with Saturn, they meditate for world peace, drink awful tea, and sweep the floors. Bliss.

Saturn, however, is too busy trying to keep Pluto from engaging in a hostile takeover of his company to worry about such silliness. The embattled C.E.O. tries to enlist the help of Venus, but she is in the Caribbean with her current flame, the Sun. While down there, they bump into Jupiter, who is having a secret fling with Eros. Juno and Psyche have no idea, and if Venus starts spilling secrets now, well, lets just say this one is a gimmie.  She swears the Sun to secrecy, blackmailing him with pictures from last week.   

Mars and Mercury hit the bars, terrifying absolutely everyone. Between fist pumping, backward hats, and one heartfelt performance of "Dont cry for me, Argentina" at least 4 clubs close for good, 6 are condemned, and there is one unfortunate incident involving a musk ox.

Pallas and Vesta are avoiding all of this like the plague. No help from Neptune, as hes is still trying to slink away, thinking that if he puts his hands over his eyes hes invisible, with Chiron galloping after him.

Try not to get caught in the crossfire

-Astrogeek




Image courtesy of http://www.filmreference.com/Films-Mi-My/The-Misfits.html