Uranus Conjunct Eris- War Drums

Kurdish YPG Fighter by Kurdishstruggle, CCL

Effective date of transit: June 1 2016- May 16 2018

Helios' ASTROLOGICAL reading of Uranus Conjunct Eris:  Here we are- The transit that keeps me up at night, and the one that I have been stressing about since basically I started writing, and have been warning you was coming for the last couple years: Uranus conjunct the dwarf planet Eris.

So why should you care? What is so special about this one single transit? Well, to answer that let’s look at the planets involved- First up, Uranus. Uranus was a storm god, actually scratch that- Uranus was one of the first forces of nature, of creation itself. He is chaotic, primal, and more force than god. He was the sky, the storm, aether, what have you. When he coupled with Gaia, the literal earth itself, it gave birth to the Giants, the Hekatonkheires and the Titans, all of whom, on their own, outclassed all the gods we know and love by far. However, it took five of the Titans, an unstoppable blade, and the literal earth herself to take him down a peg, as he could not be actually killed or stopped. He is cold, uncaring, and revels in chaos just for novelty.

Even so, he doesn’t love chaos as much as the next factor, Eris. She is the goddess of strife, chaos and bloodshed. She was a war goddess and one of the besties of Ares. A quote about her, from Homer- “Strife whose wrath is relentless, she is the sister and companion of murderous Ares, she who is only a little thing at the first, but thereafter grows until she strides on the earth with her head striking heaven. She then hurled down bitterness equally between both sides as she walked through the onslaught making men's pain heavier.” Most recently, she caused some strife and chaos when she was discovered in the cosmos, causing Pluto to be demoted to minor planet status and a redefinition of the concept of what a planet was. Remember the backlash and public outcry that caused, and how those wounds are STILL fresh for most people, all of whom have an opinion on the matter.

Now, these two are conjoining in the sign of Aries, AKA the least chill sign there ever was. War, passion, strife and chaos all combine in this sign on its own, and with these two heavy hitters, it’s a recipe for disaster. And let me remind you that we, (at least in America) are engaged in a bitter, ugly election battle and it seems no one will win, least of all the people- Not to mention that we are engaged in at least 5 wars at last count, and we are not exactly recovered from our economic crisis. Moreso, these events affect the rest of the world, and vice versa- Take for instance the low gas prices: Those are considered a boon in America, and a sign of our recovery, but these prices are DESTROYING whole countries and economies. In oil-rich countries built on the profits of expensive oil (and steeped in corruption) these prices have completely destabilized the economy, bringing them a hairs breadth from anarchy- black markets rule, and the national currency is worthless, and people are not getting what they need. Everything affects everything else now. That could easily happen here- and that could very well be the best case scenario.

You see, even with the best version of this transit imaginable, I see no way to avoid going through a LOT of upheaval and transformation- At worst? God, the worst case is pure nightmare fuel. I could easily see this becoming a civil war that spills out into the rest of the world at large, stopping global exports of food, relief, and what have you, descending multiple countries even further into chaos, and that’s only the ones that we don’t drag into the war with us- The lucky ones. You think im exaggerating? The last time this transit happened was in 1932, a year that set the stage for WWII. In 1848, there were major riots and political revolutions, old states dissolving and new ones rising from their ashes. 1764, more war. I could go back further but a trend emerges. War, taxes, riots… no matter what, the people suffer- They are downtrodden and taken advantage of.

Also to beware of is the fact that this will essentially be a resurgence of the Cardinal Crisis. Jupiter will be moving to Libra later this year, and will be opposing these two. With this in mind, it is taking place within orb of Pluto in Capricorn, if widely. So there will be a new version of the T-Square, with several times where Cancer is activated, rounding out the Grand Cross. So everything from 2008-14, with all of its chaos and upheaval, will be back in play in a brand new way. In fact, you could say that period was the warmup act for this one.

I don’t have motivation or a positive spin for this one, or how to best work it, guys. I can only warn you that its coming at the moment. More as it unfolds.     


Artemis' TAROT reading of Uranus Conjunct Eris:
“In chaos, there is fertility.” ― Anaïs Nin


So the very slow moving asteroid Eris (formerly known as Persephone - consort of Pluto) is going conjunct with our familiar giant planet of Chaos, Uranus.  And I pulled a fuck ton of fucking crazy cards.  Happy April Fucking Fools!  

Eris is laughing at us already.    She throws a golden apple into the center of our cosmic party.  "For the most beautiful one!  Kallisti!"  Are you the one worthy of picking it up?  Could you?  Should you? Probably not, because Eris is the goddess of motherfucking DISCORD and CHAOS.  Lower your egos down a notch, everyone.  She's going to sucker punch us all one by one, and we need to stick together here.  Shit is going to get rough for everyone, but seriously - we all need to stick together.  Eris has no mercy.  She will show you what you need to see, and she will show you violently.    

WHO THE FUCK INVITED THIS BITCH TO THE PARTY?  

Get out something to chew on or find a spot you can pace in, because this one is going to be rough.   

In all seriousness, this is a very serious post.  "Why so serious, Artemis?" Because the last time this conjunct happened, the Nazi party sprouted, FDR became president, and the initial rattlings of WWII started to become visible.  I know you can all feel it.  Don't bullshit me.  Don't bullshit yourself.  You can see it in the eyes of everyone around you.  We all know something big is on the horizon, and we can all smell the blood in the air.  We don't know exactly what it is... but our spidey senses are alarming the fuck out.

Birds can feel a storm before it comes and flock together (and they fly the fuck away).  Sensing danger is instinctual.  We don't even know we are doing it, but our subconscious mind picks up on the clues around us.  We can all sense when we are being lied to and culled.  We are being penned up, and they are about to take us to slaughter.  The thing is, animals know when they are about to get slaughtered.  And they start going MAD. 

Our political climate is set for it.  It is almost impeccable.  Whatever way we decided to tip, we have already set up the dominoes.  All Eris is doing is snickering and toppling them over.  She is the initial spark; the CHAOS needed to get motion going.    

So what is Uranus doing in this reading?  He is saying, fuck this shit, stuff is going to start changing around here!  Like flashes of lightening, we wont see it coming and it might be a little disturbing at first.  The outer planets like to deal in the macro.  They talk in politics and mass human behavior.  Uranus likes to talk about revolution and innovation.  It looks like some massive inventions might be on the horizon this year.  Bold new plans.  Bold new uptakes.  Bold New World.  Will it be for the better?  I don't know.  Was the invention of the nuclear bomb for the betterment of humanity?  Was the invention of cars for the betterment of humanity?  No thing in itself is purely good or evil.  Is it good for YOUR worldview?  Whatever the innovations will be, they will be an evolutionary step for humanity.  

Around and around we go.  You see, our sun (Sol) is rocketing through space at about 70,000 km an hour.  This means that the planets are trailing after it in a spiral fashion, creating a literal helix.  Sometimes the planets coast out ahead of the sun, sometimes they trail behind.  The sun isn't just sitting there as planets rotate around it in a static fashion.  Oh no.  We are fucking throttling through space right now at high speeds.  The world is in constant movement, spiraling outward, each rotation the same yet different.  We have reached another solar rotation of Uranus since 1932, my friends, and now he and Eris will be effecting similar yet different revolutionary change.  Notice the patterns.  As above, so below.  

It is time to seize opportunity.  Shit is fucked up.  It seriously is.  All around the world, shit is fucked up.  We see it clear as day, so why do we look away?  This energy is going to make a lot of us snap back to reality.  Things are happening HERE, where you LIVE.  Do you see the massive election going on?  It is one of the craziest we have had in decades.  Everything hangs by a thread.  America is a failing Empire, and the route we choose to take is extremely important right now.  Rise to the occasion.  This is our last chance.  We have the Ace of Wands next, indicating that a surge of power and heat will descend upon us.  People are going to get riled up.  It is inevitable.  How they decide to harness this surge of energy will be up to them.  Will we use it to destroy our enemies, or will we use it to destroy each other?  We end with the two of wands for Uranus, warning us against arrogance.  This combination props up revolutionaries who are working through truly Aquarian values; humanitarianism and group evolution.  We are BOLD right now - especially in the sign of Aries.  We want our voices to be fucking heard already!  Can you hear it?  All over the world, the people are roaring.  

 Chaos is, at first, seen as a shiney novelty.  We have our new thing, like the smart phone, and it is glorious.  This is like the butterfly effect.  The novelty gains popularity.  More and more people want it.  More and more Chaos ensues.  We source slave labor to make their parts.  We suck whole generations into a small screen so that we can program them easier.  Don't you see?  Chaos, at first, is a tempting seductress.  She eases our worry and shows us something innovative and great.  What we don't realize is that if we don't steer her OUR direction, that she will show us the folly of our ways.  She will show us just how we can abuse our power.  This is Eris' lesson.  

The cards I pulled for Eris are kinda ominous.  Why wouldn't they be?  It's fucking Eris, the goddess of Discord.  The information we are being fed is trying to stack things against us.  It is making us feel weak and stupid.  Be warned, Eris is going to take all of this down.  The wool is going to be pulled from our eyes, but it's not going to be very pleasant.  But hey, at least we will finally be getting some fucking truth, right?  The Tower card is indicating that there is mass corruption that is about to go down.  What is the most obvious metaphor for The Tower card?  Probably 9/11.  No one knew those towers were going to come down (well, I could argue conspiracy, but I've already rambled long enough).  It was seemingly out of nowhere, and it completely changed the culture of the United States.  Seemingly out of nowhere, something may occur that will rattle our very foundations as a country.  What could the unexpected be?  

I guess I really can't tell you, can I?  

The next two cards I pulled for Eris are the King of Wands and The Emperor.  The King of Wands is the King who cannot sit on his throne.  He is an action oriented king, and he is an innovator.  In my Hexen 2.0 Tarot deck, he is represented by Nicola Tesla.  The King of Wands is obsessed.  A new zeal will move about the political atmosphere; a fever of some kind.  This could be good, and this could be bad.  Really, people, it's all about your intent.  Bend the energy to your will.  The final card is The Emperor.  He is Mars, and he is industry and war.  This card in this position warns us that every little thing that we do now has larger repercussions in the future.  We are walking on a tight rope and we need to sway in just the right ways.  Do you really know what being in charge of your own destiny feels like?  The reigns are about to switch, and if we, as the people, cannot take them, then someone else will.  Who will rule?  Will the chaos that ensues put someone diabolical in that oval office, or will we be so fired up by this energy that we will storm the capital and take back what is ours?

Perhaps.  


Helios and I will continue reporting this conjunct as things move along.  Let's see how the patterns unfold, shall we?

Tarot Reading:

Uranus:  2 of Wands, Ace of Wands, 3 of Wands
Eris:  The Tower, The King of Wands, The Emperor 

New Moon in Scorpio- Savages

big savage tunnel 1911 by Nessie Grace, CCL

These are some psychotic skies, you guys.

I mean, limiting Saturn in expanding  Saggo, while broad-strokes Jupiter is in nitpicky Virgo, Uranus moonwalking backwards on the shag carpet, shocking everyone; and Neptune vaping up a storm, making everyone else choke and so it’s impossible to have any idea what the hell is going on (we get it bro, you vape!)… it’s enough to make a lesser AstroBro hand in his official Augury card! Luckily, you are in the hands of a professional.

Now, for this round the thing is fear. You have a unique opportunity this go-around- You will be aware of your fears, in crystal clarity- But for one brief and shining moment, you will not be a slave to them. This time around, you can make new choices, set new patterns, and break free where you have been held back before. It will be extremely tempting to give in to the temptation of following the same old paradigm, but I swear to you, this is the opportunity you have been waiting for and you will never forgive yourself if you miss it. Hell, the Cardinal Crisis did not spend so much time breaking you and reforging you in its fires to have you go back to the same old rut! No, it did what it did with purpose, and direction- To bring you up to a level that you have never seen before, and to unleash the full potential of what you could become, here and now.

And that’s to say nothing of the trial that is to come…

The Sun, Moon, Jupiter, Chiron and Uranus- Okay, so I love this Astro, I really do. Reminds me of that orgasmicly Aries-Uranian energy we had going, god I wish I could bottle that. Anyway, the main thing you want to look at here is the interplay of Jupiter quincunx Uranus. Now, most readers would see this as an awful and trying aspect- and it is, but only if you aren’t creative enough to see the potential inherent in the challenge. Chiron is also in the mix with those two, as is Eris- now typically these four would be a recipe for disaster, but somehow this particular blend gets it just right. With this Astro, Uranus drops a blessing disguised as a problem in your path and you pause before reacting; Chiron gives you the awareness to see where you have made the mistakes before- Jupiter helps you see what you should do instead, a better way, and Eris gives you the guts to step out of your old ways and into a better you. All the discordant parts moving in harmony for once, and just for a second, you get a glimpse of how your life could be. Make that change, take that plunge- stop relying on your old tricks and get a new one already! Find a better way, and actually make some headway toward your greater goals instead of sitting on your ass and complaining about how you are trapped and not going anywhere! Do better!

Mercury and Pluto- And this is how you do it. When these two get together, it’s pure dead magic; Literally, it’s usually Necromancy (or at the very least, Alchemy). These two are the ones to look for when you want to change everything around and/or within you. Think your way out of your problems, rely on your wits for once- You know exactly how to, think back to when you used to be more desperate and had to make something out of nothing. Make it work. Spin that straw into gold, you know you can do it again! Also, just because All Hallows is over, that doesn’t mean those loved ones who have passed cant still teach you a thing or two, point you in the right direction, if you only honor their memory…

Venus, Mars, Saturn and Neptune- Finally, good relationship news! Venus is no longer dead to me, because frankly I no longer care what she throws at me. This is a very calm and composed Venus we see, not like the bitchy and vindictive one we’ve been treated to as of late. She is riding the afterglow of her conjunction with Mars, so I’m sure that helps. But she’s also getting some good advice and tea from Pallas Athene, and miracle of miracles, our girl is actually LISTENING to what she is saying for once! I honestly never thought I would see the day.  Saturn and Neptune are in the mix as well, Neptune urging her to give up on these booty calls and find the ONE, and Saturn nonchalantly deleting her dating apps while she isn’t looking. The interesting player here is Lilith. She is not sowing chaos for the hell of it, as per usual, but this time she is actually taking the chaos and helping you to synthesize it within yourself so that you can… you know what, it doesn’t matter. What I just realized is that this Astro boils down to one thing- You have a second chance. The failures and setbacks you endured in 2009-2012, the first half of the Cardinal Crisis, before Saturn went into Scorpio- That is what you have a chance to correct. Right now, in 2015-2016. This window will not last forever, so move NOW! Get your shit done, do whatever you have to do- This is your moment to reclaim what you lost, reset your score.

Make it count, guys.

Mars in Aquarius- Unconventional Tactics

Alright Hellraisers! Mars is officially into Aquarius, and there are some things you need to know to rock this out.

Since Uranus is in Aries, this is yet another mutual reception, which means the planets work together to support actions taken, to varying degrees of efficiacy. With Mars and Uranus, you can definitely believe there is going to be some action here, and it will be FAST! The trouble is, its going to be very hard to predict and prepare for it.

With this, Mars helps to discipline Uranus' insanity a lot, and channel his brilliance where it would actually be productive. For his part, Uranus lights a fire under Mars' ass and opens him up to whole new worlds that he had never cared to explore before. Its good for both of them.

What it isnt is stable. These two do not lend themselves easily to anything that might help make it last, so your job is to capitalize on the moment and put in the work to use these crazy skies for your own benefit.

How do you do this, you ask? Easy- You have to know your chart though, for maximum effect. Wherever these two are in the chart is about to be lit up like 10,000 Christmas trees. For me, its the 2nd and 4th houses, so money and security are the focal points right now for your not-so-humble Astrologer. So go buy some consults, and help me feed my legal team (seriously, they're about to riot, or at least demand to be paid...). Once you know your chart, just do Mars and allow for the insanity of Uranus in those particular areas, and watch the awesome transpire!

Today and tommorow are the absolute best days to get on top of this, as the transit will be exact then, but these two will be in mutual reception til February starts, so youll have some time. But start now, and prepare for awesome!

-The AstroGeek

Neptune Direct: Drawing Lines In The Sand

Deer Lord (Praise Cernunnos), this is where I feel I need to slink off to right about now. This Mercury Retrograde would be hell enough on anyone, but to throw it in with Saturn in Scorp, the Uranus-Pluto drama, Mars-Jupiter shenanigans, AND a superpowered eclipse? Holy Hell, Hellraisers- This time Neptune might be the one thing that sees us through. 

Lets hope we can trust him.


Anyway, yes Neptune is now officially direct. Pay attention, Hellraisers- This is where the fun starts. Dreams get cosmic, and carry potent messages on swift wings. Omens abound, and black cats start crossing your path in droves. The trick is figuring out the message while you can. Quite often you can only put it together after its much too late to make a difference. But that's the way these thing go, I'm afraid.

In other ways, this can feel like waking back up after a long nap in the Sun. The important thing is realizing you were, in fact, dreaming- and now its time to get back to reality. Done incorrectly however, this is more akin to an insomniac who is working 60+ hours a week and getting nowhere. If this is you FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE YOURSELF OUT OF THE GAME! Rest up, you're going to need it. This is Eclipse season, and there will be no prisoners taken.

As always with Neptune, I caution you not to overdo it with the boozing or drugs- especially with Jupiter Retrograde. This time however, im giving you an out. Anything used for actual, real self-work and discovery and not for escapism is super potent right now*. But use caution. Its much better to dry out with Saturn in Scorp, trust me.

Speaking of, you know that niggling voice in the back of your head that is keeping you up at night? Well there's only one cure- Put the changes its suggesting into action. Trust me, you'll be so glad you did. Also, you know that pain you're feeling right now? Yes, right now as you read this line. Oh, dont give me that shit- you cant hide it from me. Anyway its going to be with you for a while. Work on it, drag it out from the shadows and face it- work on healing it. Accept what you cant change and start changing what you can. Planning only though- no action till after Mercury goes direct again.

Oh, one last thing: You're going to want to give up. Don't.

Hellraisers, we're in for a hell of a ride. Hang on, and slam on the gas pedal.

-The AstroGeek

 
*(AG Skywatch Legal Note- For the love of... Not this bullshit again! sigh AstroGeek's Skywatch does not endorse, reccomend, or condone recreational drug use or any other form of substance abuse. All indications to the contrary and statements issued are merely intended to entertain, albeit poorly. Somebody get us out of here, we havent showered in weeks and the food is absolute shit. We do get good dental, though, but that hardly covers it. Anyway, dont sue us- We dont have any clean suits, the bastards too cheap to pay for dry cleaning.)   

Uranus Retrograde- Back That Thang Up

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am eating cake for breakfast. Why, you ask? For Science!! Also, because cake is delicious (not to mention because Astro is experiencing the double whammy of Uranus Square Uranus and Uranus Sextile Sun, which has him convinced that nothing can hold him back and also that he is a strong, confident black woman).

Anyway, lets talk about Uranus (It could do with a wash). Its about to go Retrograde and that is a good thing (depending on the placement of Uranus, of course). Basically, this Retrograde is also one that is usually maligned (Uranus is just so misunderstood) but is actually really, really awesome if you know what you're doing (ok, that one wrote itself).

So astrologically, Uranus usually means things like novelty, innovation, new ideas and discoveries, freedom, breaking away from tradition and the like. And when a planet goes Retrograde, their influence is felt internally, rather than through outside stimuli and experiences; it becomes much more subjective and personal. With Uranus, It becomes all about the individual expression of personal freedom and creativity. Especially now, with his journey through Aries.

"Ok, thats all well and good, but what does it mean for me Astro?" "Well", random person who is too impatient to let me finish making a point, "What you are actually asking is how to rock this transit for personal glory, so know what you're asking before you come up in my house! The best way to rock this transit, since you asked, is to face down the chance you have to change your life in ways that you have never even dreamed about before but scares you beyond belief, grab it by the nads and say hello. THEN, while your fear is trying to hold you back and keep you living small, give it a nice pistol-whip and go do what you need to do instead of sitting on your ass dicking around on (Facebook, reddit, twitter, what have you) all day until you have to go to your just-above-minimum-wage job to be treated like shit, overwork and go home to leftover chinese food and mustard."

Of course, this isnt complete until we talk about the other players in the game- Pluto and Mars at the moment, to be specific. Pluto has been dancing around a square to Uranus for the last two years, and Mars has just entered opposition. "I dont understand any of that, Astro! What does it mean?" Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, I have to make a call. "Hey Tony, whats up? Thats good, same here...What? Oh, she's fine, cant complain. Yeah... Hey listen, I was wondering if you could do me a favor. Yeah, I got another one. Cleanup detail only. No, the wood chipper is fine, no one's going to miss this one. Yeah ill get the prep work done, you just worry about the disposal. Ok, awesome. Give my best to Sheila." Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, Cardinal Crisis. So we have Pluto demanding deep and powerful changes, and Uranus telling us they need to be done YESTERDAY, with Mars sitting in the back, just not wanting to do anything unless its what everybody wants (while actually blocking all progress unless it suits his agenda) and making you do all the legwork yourself.

So what do you do? Use Mars for your zen and strike at the correct moment, Uranus as your architect for success, never sacrificing a thing but what doesn't work anymore, and let Pluto bring it all together by just never letting yourself quit. Ever. Be Adamant and unyielding, never swaying in your determination and duty.

Yes life will still be scary and confusing. And no, it wont stop being that way just for you and because its hard. Grow the fuck up and take control of yourself.You have the chance to change your life, it is within your grasp. You just have to want it. Of course, if you let your fear rule you, then you're already lost. Conquer it and seize the day (and Uranus).  

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go throw up my cake as it is making me very very sick. Honestly, who eats cake for breakfast?

-The AstroGeek