Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Venus Direct- I Am Become Diva, Destroyer of Worlds

Freaking finally!! Our girl is finally headed back in the right direction after several false starts and despite all the naysayers, haters, and the swarm of Evil, Undead Relationship-Zombie Exes that appeared out of nowhere.

But that does not mean we get to breathe a sigh of relief, no siree bob. This is Insanity Astro still, and all the same issues we had are still valid until Venus moves out of Shadow, and especially while Mars is still in Virgo. Once Mars moves into Libra, be prepared to act, because from there on things get a little wonky til Saturn comes and sorts out the mess from Scorpio, but more on that later. For now, focus on getting those last minute details of your master plan ready to roll.

Yes, this current batch of astrological silliness helps us to clear our head and shake off any lingering guilt, shame or suchlike guano that you may still be carrying around. Go out and take some time for yourself, figure out if you really want to keep going down the road that you are on, or if you would rather pull a last-second course correction.

If not, then just take this time to reinforce your image, loosen up a little and enjoy the pleasure of being alive. Go out and hang out with old friends, make some new ones, or just relax in your own company.

If you want to change course, however... Well, then it gets a little more difficult. Then you have to redo all that work that we have done, and get it done in the space of this shadowzone. Luckily, it will inifinitely easier the second time around, as this time you already know the territory. And the smaller the course correction, the less work that needs to be done. I cant stress to you enough, however, that if you need to make that course correction, DO IT NOW! The longer you wait, the harder it will be. And honestly, dont you owe it to yourself to do what is right for you?

Ultimately, the decision is yours. Remember that.

This leads you into the end goal of this transit: The Diva (or Don, depending on what gender you feel like being today), untouchable, commanding attention and being a palpable presence when you walk into a room. This does not mean, however, that you get to go on a power trip and leave a horde of bodies in your wake. No, you are going to be a benevolent ruler, prefering to inspire loyalty in your subjects instead of obliterating them at your whim.

That way, when the angry mobs come to protest the unfair taxes (so that you can afford to buy new shoes) your loyal subjects will take the bullet for you, allowing you to make a hasty escape.

Watch for pitchforks and torches!
-The AstroGeek

Monday, June 25, 2012

Saturn Direct- Jim the Fish

Yeah, I dont know either, I only work here on the weekends. Just go with it.

So can we all agree that Saturn going direct may just be the best news all week? I dont know about you guys, but I am so tired of this one. I have a hard time with anything Libra as it is, but Saturn, much less a Retrograde, not even mentioning the not 1, not 2, 3 or even 4 rounds of Saturn Square Saturn, but FREAKING 5 of them (while on my Midheaven, mind you)? Oh HELL NAW. Its too much for this Gemini.

Le sigh.

So, Saturn Direct. Ladies and Gentlemen, this one is going to be one to watch. He has had it up to here with the lesser beings just piddling around mucking everything up while he gets shuffled off to the side; and then on top of that, you (try to) force him to be NICE???

Bitch plz. Saturn dont play that way, you cray-cray.

No, now the Old Dirty Bastard is on his way into Scorpio, and may the Great Goddess Empanada help you if you get in his way, because Heaven only helps those who know better. From here on out, its full steam ahead, and rest/calm/being bored is a quaint relic of a bygone era. You'll be lucky to have 3 seconds to breathe after this, especially after Mars blasts into Libra and sets off the Cardinal Crisis powder keg.

And trust me, it will be awesome.

In these last couple hours, lets take a minute to reflect. Saturn's been in Libra since October of 2009 (before that... well, lets just not even talk about that. It never happened [you're welcome]). How have you matured since then? What sacrifices have you made to get there? Are you happy with where you are? Where are you headed from here? If you know your chart, how has Saturn's romp through Libra affected you in that area?

Most importantly, what have you learned? How have you incorporated it into your life?

Feel free to share below. And get ready for amazing.

-The AstroGeek

Monday, June 18, 2012

New Moon in Gemini- The Eye of the Storm

Aaaah, Gemini! The Sign so nice, we're doing it twice! Which, incidentally happens to be the statistical #1 fantasy for those of a Mercurial persuasion, but im sure that its unrelated. We get the joy of having three Lunations in the sign this year- First, the Solar Eclipse that almost took me out for good, The Lunar Eclipse in Sagittarius, and another New Moon (every Solar Eclipse is a New Moon, Lunar Eclipse= Full Moon.) happening now. Add in the Venus Transit (also in Gemini) and Jupiter entering Gemini earlier this week, and you have a recipe for some serious Gemini shenanigans!
Ladies and Gentlemen, for your entertainment....

The Sun and Moon- This is your sweet spot; Right between Eclipses and the Cardinal Crisis. Celebrate your success up to this point and learn from your defeats. Next up: Insanity. Starting out this time, we have a sextile to 1992 QB1, indicating that a new cycle is beginning, and it is time to stop fighting it, and just work with it in order to succeed. This is further indicated by a square to Klotho, adding that much of the preparation for this has gone on behind the scenes. A square to Pandora tells us that there is the potential for a lot of new information to come to light, and it has the potential to be very damaging to you if you have not kept your nose clean, but since Ive been warning you guys about that for a while now, you should be fine. A square to Minerva demands that we be detached about this information and use it wisely, however, or risk our own fall. A trine to Aphrodite shows that this is the perfect time to take a bit of a breather and gather yourself, before events start ramping up again. A sextile to Burney indicates that when the other shoe drops, it will drop hard, so be ready. 

Mercury- A sextile to Vesta has you feeling very run down and almost to the breaking point because of stress, but with the benefit of feeling very Zen about it, and allowing you to keep going in spite of this. A conjunction to Urania is a huge boon to you, giving you perspective and helping you to see all the angles of your situation at the moment and how to best move forward. A square to Lachesis tells you that your time is up in certain areas of your life, but it is not quite time to release them, leaving you feeling as though you are stuck in Neutral. An opposition to Sauer indicates that this may leave you somewhat irate and combative in your manner, as you are just fed up and want things to move forward yesterday. This is normal, when you catch yourself, just stop and take a minute to collect yourself so you dont go on a massacre or something. 

Venus- Our Girl is very busy this time around. A sexy sextile to Uranus breathes new life into you, especially your where your Love Life is concerned. If you are bored, watch out for a very good chance to meet someone new; If you are quite comfortable and happy, look out for life to blow up in your face. Those two can be funny like that. Another sextile, to Pallas Athene, shows that you are not living as dynamically as you could be, but you are in the perfect position to pounce and take what you want after much careful maneuvering. Keep holding and wait for the opportune moment. A square to Chiron has the potential to bring back those people in your life who you thought you were long done with, for better or for worse. Make sure you really want to rekindle the relationship, in whatever form it takes. A square to Teharonhiawako tends to indicate that there is someone out there that really wants you to fail, and their reasons may not make any sense to you or them. Just stay aware and keep moving forward, because you can only stop them when they make a move.

Mars- Soon...Very soon now...Mars actually WILL leave Virgo, I promise. In two weeks time, we will be done. Of course, then we are staring Mars in Libra square in the face, but thats next week's lemur. For now, lets focus on finishing strong in Virgo. A square to Echeclus has you reflecting on your position here and now, what brought you to this point, and where you will go from here. A sextile to Varuna shows you that there is much going on behind the scenes, and it has the potential to lift you to new heights, but there is not much you can do about it now, other than to be aware of it and watch for a chance to prove yourself. A square to Quaoar explains that you really need to focus on channeling your frustration correctly, instead of letting it destroy you. A trine to Sedna may leave you feeling as though there is something missing in your life. Although it sounds trite, count your blessings and realize all that you have right now. A sextile to Juno kicks up sand in your relationships, and brings up issues of power struggles. Try to avoid baseless ego battles, but dont hesitate to stand your ground if necessary. A sextile to Diana indicates that you will not allow any restriction on your freedom right now, and any attempt to do so will go badly for the one stupid enough to try. A sextile to Terpsichore demands that you take some time for yourself and have some fun, damn it! An opposition to Panacea tells you that you really need to take charge of your health and prioritize it now. A trine to Phaethon demands that you lay the groundwork to start putting yourself center stage. You really need to start being your own press agent and publicist. A trine to Orpheus further indicates this, and adds that you need to be aware of your support base, and show them your appreciation as much as possible.

Jupiter- Sweet mother of Loki, I thought he would NEVER get out of Taurus! Freshly into Gemini, Papa Jupiter is... not doing a damn thing. He is in square to Orcus, telling us that to get what you want, you are going to have to give up on something else first, something that you think you desperately need. This is actually holding you back, however, and if you give up on it, you will progress. Another square, to Apollo, may leave you feeling drained and overworked, hoping for rest; I have some bad news, there's no rest for the hustlers guys. To add insult to injury, you cannot afford to be at anything but your best right now, and there's nothing you want to do less. It will be hard, but worth it. 

Saturn- We're about a week out from Saturn going direct, and then its straight on into Scorpio, full steam ahead. Before we get onto that demolition train however, we have to survive the end of his stay in Libra. We start out with an opposition to Eris, who stands for pretty much everything that Saturn hates, and vice versa. This is a huge pull between what you want to do, what would leave you fulfilled and happy vs. what is expected of you and fulfilling your obligations/ performing your duty. The hard part is you have to do both sides of the opposition and try to find a happy (or, failing that, just functional) medium. A trine to Thereus has you working overtime to impress someone, but it will go unnoticed. Do what you do because you want to, or because it needs to be done, not for anyone else. A sextile to Echeclus tells you to slow down and reflect on your current velocity; Where are you going? Why? What do you need to do and who do you need to help you? These are questions you need to ask yourself. A square to Varuna tells you that you are doing these things because of your inner desire to master the world around you, which is a normal human desire, but not in your best interest or the best interest of those around you. Plus, do your really want to be in charge? Its such a hassle! A sextile to Quaoar further indicates this, and adds that you really need the freedom to be master of yourself, and thats all that really matters. A trine to Damocles tells you to tread lightly, for there are hidden dangers for every step you take.

Uranus- Ah, we get to the celebrities of the moment! The big news here is, of course, the square between Uranus and Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All, which is commonly referred to as the Cardinal Crisis. Its the game-changer which has been tearing down everything we thought was solid and what we built our lives on, and that was before it even hit as an exact aspect! Its verrrryyy close now, and you will most definitely know when it hits. Welcome back to the Loony bin. A trine to Chariklo will help you keep your perspective and navigate the choppy waters here, but tells you to keep to yourself and chart your own course; you have to help yourself before you can help others. A square to Cyllarus says that you may have a desire to sacrifice yourself in order to affect some major change, but this is so far beyond what is needed that you need to crush that impulse completely. A conjunction to Pallas Athene helps you stay cool under pressure and allows you to see opportunity where others only see defeat. Know when to seize them. A square to Ophelia pits you against those who are not ready to take control of their own lives, and are still stuck in their drama and try to suck you in with them. Disengage them when possible; you've already been through Hell and back, avoid going in again at all costs. 

Neptune- A square to the Nodes has you focused on bringing your A-game into the moment in order to rock this insanity and capitalize on your potential. The key is getting up on the board to ride the waves instead of letting them bash you in, and making you drown. Also, surf in a crowd of one hundred- You have to fight for the same waves, but you reduce the chances of the shark biting you to 1 percent. A square to Orcus tells you to use your friends as bait. A sextile to Hybris warns of getting a big head; stay grounded at all costs, and if all else fails, say nothing and walk away. An opposition to Apollo has you feeling as though you are getting lost in the shuffle, and that you are losing the sense of who you are. Again, stay grounded, and reconnect with your roots and the people who care whether you live or die. Hug, call, or spend the day with your mother for gods sakes! A trine to Hermes tells you that right now, whatever you want, you can make happen, but you have to commit to it 1000%. 

Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All- An opposition to Cyllarus (man, what is with these centuars lately?) shows a tendency to choose others over yourself. This must be avoided at all cost. A sextile to Teharonhiawako allows you to really focus on molding and shaping your life, it begins to take form now and just might take you by surprise. A sextile to Ophelia shows that you may be fighting a losing battle somewhere; recognize where things are just not working, no matter what you do (it should be pretty easy to identify by now) and pull the ripcord. You dont need it in your life, and should not feel guilty about bailing at all. A sextile to Toro gives you the reserves of strength that you need to push through the guano and rise to the top. A trine to Itokawa forces you to stay on target and pushes you forward till you can taste the win. Because I promise you, if you keep going, you will make it, and afterwards, there will be NOTHING that can destroy you. 

You just have to want it. 

-The AstroGeek

As always, go check out the fabulous Starzina-Starfish Browne and her Time of the Month Horoscopes.

Your songs of the Zeitgeist-



Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Chiron Retrograde- Taking Care of Business

Starting to wish I had saved the "Kansas City Shuffle" title for the current Astro, the only other witty title I can think of involves squardancing, a llama, and Morgan Freeman. But, as it makes no sense whatsoever, it shall be forgotten completely in leiu of drudgery (at least until Aquarius!).

So, Chiron goes retrograde today. He tries to back out of the room, trying to slip out the backstage door before anyone notices he's made off with the liquor. Again. Jupiter spies him, and distracts everyone else with a dirty joke to cover his escape. He joins Neptune in the back alley and they have a private party, lit by candlelight (because Neptune is a hopeless romantic) and ending in the two of them having a good cry about their past loves and past losses. Yay codependency!

My goodness, that sounded rather like an AstroScene snippet, didnt it? Im not sure what came over me there...

Anyway, Chiron goes retrograde today, and expect there to be plenty of those old emo-zombies around: Those people who just get wrapped up in their own (and everyone else's!) drama and keep playing out their tired games time and time again, and asking why the universe is so unfair. 

The best strategy here is evasion. Avoid getting sucked into the guano they spew at all costs, as you have come way too far and worked too damn hard to get away from it in the first place to get suckered back in! if you get cornered by them, just let them spew and spew and expose their insecurities, weaknesses, emo traps and smile the whole time, not feeding into it or going onto their level. 

For yourself- You will be exposed to a lot of your old issues re: emotions, old wounds, what works vs. what doesn't, what you want vs. what is expected of you, saying fuq it and doing what makes you happy, muttering to yourself in public, developing a phobia of green water balloons, wearing tinfoil hats, and going on a tangent of cleaning absolutely everything. Try to avoid flashing small children in public though, society tends to disapprove if you're not senile. Although the tinfoil hat and water balloon thing should go a long way toward making your case...

-The AstroGeek

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Jupiter in Gemini- Right On Time

So, here we are Ladies and Gentlemen, the end of the road for Jupiter in Taurus. Now its time for his trek through Gemini (as if we didn't already have enough in Gemini to deal with at the moment...). Ill just tell you right now your humble Astrologer is not going to miss this transit one bit.

Jupiter in Gemini is a mixed bag. On the one hand, no more waiting around for things to get going, and having to push your way through the merde. On the other hand, you thought you were stressed before? Oooh, gurl- take a vacation now, because its only going to ramp up from here. All that weight you gained while you were carbing out in Taurus? Its going to melt right off- you wont have time to ingest anything but smoothies and juice (the exceptions being, of course, coffee and cocaine. Gemini loves their stimulants!)

[Legal Note: AstroGeek's Skywatch does not endorse experimentation with controlled substances of any kind (He has no need to experiment- at this point, he's a pro!)]

Jupiter is usually described as in detriment here, as he roams through the sign opposite to his dignity (Sagittarius). I'm not seeing it (besides, that whole system is dated anyway). I will say this- Normally, Jupiter is perceived as a fat old Sugar Daddy living in a poofy palace eating bonbons and tossing off good luck all around, or getting into temper tantrums where he just straight up wrecks the place. In this transit though, you will have to make your own luck, and tantrums should be relatively easy to avoid.

The major focus is that you will need to strive in order to succeed. There are no handouts here, but the rewards for making your own opportunites are abundant. Ladies and Gentlemen, its time to get your hustle on (especially after Saturn moves into Scorpio).

It will also be significantly easier to deal with your growth, as (presuming that you have been doing the work in Taurus) you have been able to recognize what you want, what you don't, where you are going to take your life and why you want to do it. Now the focus is on the execution of your planning. Taurus helped you build a secure base, now you need to leap. Whether you fly or crash to the ground in a fiery blaze of glory is up to you.

This will be in effect til next year, so we have plenty of time to go over it and make fun of Jupiter to levels that are entirely shameless. And as long as we steer clear of outright libel, then we're in the money!!

God Bless the First Amendment!
-The AstroGeek

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Neptune Retrograde: Drawing Back the Curtain

Sweet Vishnu, are we back to this again? Just when I think I can stop worrying about Retrogrades... Ok, so what have we got this time? Neptune? OH HELL NAW, you kids are on your own!!

I have just been informed by my legal team that apparently, it is illegal to promise goods or services and then not provide said goods or services. Therefore, I will turn to prostitution (AstroGeek's Skywatch, LLC does NOT endorse prostitution. Stay in school kids [like all the smart drug dealers!!])

Deep breaths AstroGeek... So Neptune. Trying to sneak in a Retrograde while we're all staring, slackjawed at the Transit of Venus and still reeling from the eclipse. Sneaky bastard. And it is just like Neptune to try to pull this kind of thing (a trick he learned from Mercury, no doubt). 

This time around, things are... different. Its hard to describe, hard to get a hold on, like all things Neptune. This time, we dont have High Neptune, that awesome blissed out, walking-on-air, grin bigger than a peeled banana; or Low Neptune, when you're either stressed-out, over-worked, snorting bath salts and eating people's faces or losing everything you have, getting kicked out of your place and disowned for bringing shame upon your family. No, this time, we have to deal with Pure Neptune. Its not too much, or too little.

I just cant help myself from getting excited over here, but there is a ton of potential here. Most notably, whatever your situation: Even though you have failed to get it right the first time, you now have a second chance. Right here, and right now, you can make this happen. It is within your grasp. There is a catch, however-

You have to want it. 

You have to want it more than anything you have ever wanted in your life. You have to be willing to run outside stark naked at 6am (much less wake up at 6am) to scream it out to the world at large, not giving a shit who you wake up or piss off (at least it will help you to identify other Skywatch readers in your area!). You have to be willing to walk over coals or jump out of planes. You have to be willing to fly to another country with someone you've never met just because you believe that this one time it may just be real. You have to be willing to get out of your norm, try couscous, volunteer, do anything! 

But most importantly you have to actually get up and do it.

This is not going to be handed to you, make no mistake. This is where you need to bust your ass. At the end of the day, you need to make this happen your own damn self, because no one else will, and no one else can. 

Carpe diem, bitches
-The AstroGeek

Venus Transit of the Sun- Not Gonna Write You A Love Song

So I wasn't going to talk about this any more, but since I had a perfect SGM Macro, I decided not to waste it. But I swear to Odin, if I miss this Venus Transit due to some f%^#$ing weather, then heads will roll. Or I may just write a sad poem in my journal and move on. Either way, we shall be quite perturbed. Neptune, you have been warned.

Apropos of nothing, isnt it crazy how people who never give a second thought to the planets and the sky are going NUTS over this? Just goes to show you, everyone secretly loves looking up at the sky and just feeling like a part of something bigger, knowing that despite how good or bad our lives may be, there is a lot more going on at any given time than our trivial little dramas.

"Yes, but what does it all MEAN, AstroGeek? How does the Transit affect us?" Well, thats where I have to sigh deeply with ennui and tell you to just go out and watch it, because getting bogged down in meaning ruins the magic of the event. 

Although I do have some talking points. As Venus rules issues of love, equality, compassion and basic humanity; and the Sun rules the limelight, freedom, what is out for all to see, and media coverage, then we can start to see hints of what's coming. 

I rarely get political on here, but I feel compelled to share what I see. And my best guess (which is all I ever offer, anything else is just me blowing smoke out of my ass) is that the big issue (at least here in the states) is going to be the issue of same-sex marriage. 

Hear me out- First of all, the transit happens in the hotspot of Gemini, one of the most famously sexually adventurous signs. The Twins could easily be construed as lovers, and in some cosmological traditions, they actually are.  When paired up with the keywords I mentioned above, a picture starts to emerge. 

What we have to ask ourselves is, Do we have the freedom to choose who we experience Love with, which is so integral to the Human Experience (which, admittedly sounds like a bad theme park ride...), even if that defies traditional gender and marriage roles? Do those who choose something dissimilar to our own choices deserve to be treated with any tolerance and respect, or should they be demonized and called abominations? Should homosexual relationships be entitled to the same benefits and freedoms that heterosexual relationships enjoy? Should homosexuals be allowed to even express their love in public, even just holding hands, kissing, or those little moments that couples share, without being subjected to hate? Is there a malicious Gay Agenda? These are questions we must answer, and answer them soon. 

As this transit happens in the house of Relationships in the USA's chart (1) this issue is deeply rooted in the American psyche. And change here will not come easily, but it will be intensely focused, deeply fought, and there will be much blustering on both sides of the issue. Now of course this is only one of many possible expressions of this, but this is the one I would bank on, due to recent events such as the federal court ruling of DOMA being unconstitutional, and the equality fight in N.C., where not only homosexuals but unmarried heterosexual couples lost their rights, and the sitting President and Vice President of the United States "coming out" in favor of same-sex equality.   

So will there be equality here? Well, lets look to the past. 1874-1882: Women got the funny idea in their heads that they should be able to vote. They got that right, and the world didn't stop spinning because of it, and now it seems silly that there was ever a time when any person (note the distinction) did not have the right to vote. Electricity began moving out of the realm of a fun distraction, and into the everyday use and commercial application. Now it is intrinsically linked in every part of our lives. It was also the start of the age of the automobile age and industry. Again, integral part of daily life in the modern world. Phones, telegraphs and other modes of communication begin linking people together around the world. Good thing that never took off or anything...

Going back even further, 1761- 1769: This time period is characterized by growing tension between colonial powers and their colonies, and the growing gap between the rich ruling class and the poor working class. This period starts what becomes known as the "Age of Revolution" and America is born shortly after, along with the famously bloody revolutions in France and Haiti. The planet Uranus is discovered soon after, shattering the old ideas of the Seven Planets in the sky and opening new doors for science. 

Those are just the past two sets of this transit. So far we have been unable to stop this transit from changing our world completely. Will we be able to this time? In my experience, Venus is the one enemy you dont want to have. When Venus gets pissed, Eris looks like a diplomat in comparison, and Sedna becomes a free love hippie. 

Today, our government is voting on whether or not women should be mandated to have the same pay as a man for doing the same work, while at the same breath there are cries of a "War on Women", specifically when it comes to reproductive issues. 

Ok, that was a little more intense and political than i had intended. But I firmly believe it needed to be said. I only wonder what side of history we will end up on.

-The AstroGeek

Written at the height of the Venus Transit of the Sun, 6-5-2012 

(1) within 3 degrees of the Descendant in the Sibly Chart (2)

(2) The most widely accepted birth chart for the USA

Monday, June 4, 2012

Lunar Eclipse in Sagittarius: The Call to Adventure

When will this ever be relevant again? Its too good to pass up.

Full Disclosure- You guys are going to be sick of me talking my head off by the end of the month. But by that time it will be Cancer and I couldn't be bothered. This month was always going to be insane, so lets just get right into it, shall we?

A Lunar Eclipse on the same day as the ridiculously overhyped, guano-steeped Transit of Venus that everyone seems to have gone crazy over. Whatever, I was talking about it before it went all mainstream (Sweet Disgruntled Bhudda, when did I become a hipster Astrologer?). But it will be a helluva show, I can promise you that. The real action, however, is going on backstage....

The lights go up...

The Sun/Moon- Interesting Astro here, to say the least. We start our show with a conjuntion/opposition to Chaos, indicating that there is serious potential to be tapped and directed for the achievement of your goals, if you can keep up with the insanity that seems to be gripping everyone around you (and you too, you just cant see it). Keep your ears pricked for any stray gossip that may lead to a big scoop. A sextile/trine to Persephone tells us that if anything is going to get done, its happening behind the scenes. Dont be afraid to step away from the limelight to give yourself a breather, you might just get a genius flash of insight or clarity. Besides, it might be the last time you get to before Jupiter kicks the door in for his big entrance into Gemini. There is a trine/sextile to Zeus, indicating that you will get a much-needed jolt of energy (read: you will feel as though you are hooked up to a Tesla coil), but so will everyone else. Be very mindful of them. An opposition/conjunction to Hidalgo indicates that emotions will most definitely be running high as well, and a trine/sextile to Atlantis shows this may be catastrophic if not channeled correctly. But y'all know better than to let this get the better of you, right?

Mercury- A trine to Saturn helps to steel the trickster's nerves, and regain focus. Its quite sobering and is good medicine, but watch for bouts of melancholy. A sextile to Bienor could make you prone to some pretty nasty shouting matches, without realizing quite how things got that bad. Take a step back, breathe, and be as serene as possible as you firmly defend your point. Give no ground. An opposition to Echeclus could introduce you to some very suspect characters. Dont get roped in to a con. By this point you should be able to smell one a mile away, though. Its not all bad news though, as an opposition to Quaoar has you very optimistic and stoqued to unleash your epicness and brilliance upon an unsuspecting populace. Dont hesitate, grab the spotlight while its shining on you. A sextile to Burney indicates that there may be more going on than what is clearly visible, with a fabricated story being presented as gospel. Be wary, especially with a trine to Damocles hanging over your head.

Venus- An exact square to Mars makes things... difficult here. There is a ton of tension, and things are ready to snap. Get ready to stand your ground. An opposition to Nemesis shows you that vengance is swift for those who indulge their hubris, they will get what they are due. Dont allow that to be you. This is reinforced by a square to Niobe. An opposition to Amycus should encourage you to be decent and relatively non-douchey. A sextile to Pelion indicates that your experience of these moments are going to be highly personal and will help to shape your character. A sextile to Lachesis shows that you need to let certain things go, and not to try to keep beating a dead horse. Let it die in peace A trine to Haumea tells us that something new is most definitely stepping up to take its place, you only need to jump for it.

Mars- Our boy is not making many friends lately, now is he? Squaring pretty much everything, and throwing us to the wolves as he gets the spreadsheets done. I do have some good news, though- We only have one more month. That's right, people, its almost over. But, for now, lets see his scene- A square to Amycus indicates that there is a serious potential for you to mistreat others, and for them to do the same to you. One you can control, one you can't. An opposition to Borasisi tells you to ignore conventional wisdom; In these times, the only guide you can rely on is your own. Go indulge your inner renegade. A trine to Vesta shows that the only things worth doing now is where you are needed, and trust me- you will be needed, wherever you are. A sextile to Osiris shows that your most valuable asset is the ability to stay calm and collected as everything goes to shit around you. There will be plenty of time to break down later, but put on a brave face and quell the chaos. A trine to Phaethon helps you to dare greatly, and challenges you to do some of the shining for a change. A sextile to Dionysius can make you a little crazy, so dont make his job any easier by indulging in booze or drugs.

Jupiter- Wow. I cannot believe its almost been a whole Jupiter transit. He is set to blast into Gemini on the 12th, and that will be a big change from what we've been doing. You think events are happening fast now? You're in for a rude awakening, my friend. Anyway, a trine to Asbolus shows you looking to your future, trying to map out your destiny and decide how to proceed from here. A trine to Pandora shows that you can make all the plans you like, but anything can still happen to knock them out of the sky. A square to Apollo has you soaking in all the benefits of living the good life, so enjoy it while it lasts.

Saturn- Saturn is not having an easy go of it either, to be honest. He starts out with a nervewracking opposition to Eris, the goddess of discord and chaos, which is pretty much the exact opposite of what Saturn stands for. You may feel as though you are fighting a hydra- whenever you cut off one head, two more grow in its place. Some creative thinking will get you out of it though. A sextile to Echeclus shows that you may not be too sure of your footing in the current paradigm. Step back and evaluate your position in order to better actualize a way to progress. A square to Varuna shows that you are not in the mood for any more skulking around in the shadows; No, you want to be out there, center stage, demanding the world take notice of you. To this, I say: "Just fucking do it!" The Astro demands that you be your own press agent. A sextile to Quaoar should help with that. A square to Hera strains your commitments and relationships, bringing a struggle for power, degenerating into a pissing contest, and hopefully ending in makeup sex (you're welcome). A trine to Amor influences this, but doesn't do enough to nullify it completely. Just remember the reasons why you fell in love with them in the first place, and give them plenty of space. A trine to Burney reminds us to check behind the curtain for the real truth, and a square to Sauer makes us quick to act wherever we find anything that reeks of impropriety. Finally, a trine to Damocles reminds us just how precarious our position really is, and scares us into taking more care.

Uranus- The big show here, of course, is the square the Mad Scientist is making to the Prince of Darkness. This will not be easy, nor will it be pretty, but it will be so balls-out amazing that it will blow your socks right the hell off. Full post with mad expeletives coming forthwith. Til then, amuse yourself with the musical stylings of the imminent sextile to Circe, pushing you to experiment in your life and take some chances, just to find out what will happen. You may be surprised at the results! For instance, I have recently developed a huge interest in permaculture, and think it may just be the coolest idea ever. This aspect is also reinforced by an opposition to Isis, which throws in the part about doing anything for love. Take that how you will.

Neptune- Well, not much to talk about here, except for the fact that he is going retrograde, right after the eclipse and super-transit! Thought you could pull one on the Astrogeek... Aside from that, however, not much to talk about. There is a conjunction to Hygeia, so take care of yourself, try to seek natural cures if at all possible rather than relying on medication. A trine to Memoria takes you for a trip down memory lane, and rehashes what brought you to this place, giving you perspective. Hopefully there aren't too many cringe-worthy moments to go over.

Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All- That seriously never gets old. Anyway, we have a sextile to Chiron, cue old wounds re-opening and new ones forming. Remember the lessons, move past the pain. A sextile to Teharonhiawako demands that you use this time to create yourself anew; its time for a comeback if you're down and out- if not, call it a reinvention. Act more like the new you than the old you. A trine to Psyche shows that you are completely flummoxed by this whole "Fifty Shades of Grey" craze. When did Sadomasochism translate into book sales? Anyway, make sure to establish a safe word before trying anything too crazy in the bedroom. A square to Isis shows that you are willing to do whatever it takes to acheive your goals, but make sure you dont get stuck in the planning stages. Action is required.

Ok guys, this is your updated map. You know where you're going, and you can do this.  

Before you go, check out the amazing Starzina and her Time of the Month Horoscope! 

Astra inclinant, sed non obligant   
The AstroGeek

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